Cancer Posted November 13, 2018 Report Share Posted November 13, 2018 Also, things that you find while figuring out your psychiatrist is a cross-dresser. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tkdguy Posted November 14, 2018 Report Share Posted November 14, 2018 How to insult a math teacher: You put the ass in asymptote! Pariah 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted November 14, 2018 Report Share Posted November 14, 2018 1 minute ago, tkdguy said: How to insult a math teacher: Hide contents You put the ass in asymptote! That joke is a sin. tkdguy 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tkdguy Posted November 14, 2018 Report Share Posted November 14, 2018 Just now, Pariah said: That joke is a sin. Not cos or tan? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted November 15, 2018 Report Share Posted November 15, 2018 Today's news story: A mountain lion came down from the hills above Salt Lake City and made its way onto the campus of the University of Utah. By the time state wildlife officials captured the big cat, it had accumulated $20,000 in student loan debt. Duke Bushido, Logan D. Hurricanes, slikmar and 3 others 1 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hermit Posted November 16, 2018 Report Share Posted November 16, 2018 And so my wife says to me "You haven't heard a word I said." and I thought to myself "What an odd way to begin a conversation." Pariah, Logan D. Hurricanes, slikmar and 1 other 1 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted November 20, 2018 Report Share Posted November 20, 2018 Q: What did the chromosome say to the mRNA strand? A: "Do these genes make me look fat?" Logan D. Hurricanes 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Logan D. Hurricanes Posted November 20, 2018 Report Share Posted November 20, 2018 I've just been to a disgusting pub called "The Fiddle." It really was a vile inn. Pariah 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cancer Posted November 20, 2018 Report Share Posted November 20, 2018 I assume it sappy old Romantic-era string music playing, too. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Logan D. Hurricanes Posted November 29, 2018 Report Share Posted November 29, 2018 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cancer Posted November 29, 2018 Report Share Posted November 29, 2018 Note that Godel's Incompleteness Theorem means at least one of two things: (1) that there are true things which cannot be proven, or (2) it is possible to prove false things. Also, I think the assumption in the first line is provably false: I think there exist math jokes which are infinitely long, and I put forward the conjecture that there exists more than one cardinality among the infinite-length math jokes, and I suspect that tools for judging those cardinalities do not exist. Therefore, there are multiple match jokes which are infinitely long, and differing magnitudes of infinitely long, and you can't tell which. Therefore it is impossible to assess when you have made a new math joke longer than the longest one, because you can't tell them apart, and therefore it is impossible even in principle to perform the first step in your proof. Therefore what you have here is a conjecture, not a proof, that there are infinitely many math jokes and none of them are good. L. Marcus 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
archer Posted November 30, 2018 Report Share Posted November 30, 2018 Baby Formula: M + F = B Pariah 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mattingly Posted November 30, 2018 Report Share Posted November 30, 2018 Don't forget to add the chemistry. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted December 15, 2018 Report Share Posted December 15, 2018 Q: What did the cell say when his sister stepped on his toes? Q: Mitosis. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
archer Posted December 16, 2018 Report Share Posted December 16, 2018 On 11/14/2018 at 7:19 PM, Pariah said: Today's news story: A mountain lion came down from the hills above Salt Lake City and made its way onto the campus of the University of Utah. By the time state wildlife officials captured the big cat, it had accumulated $20,000 in student loan debt. A man-eating lion escaped earlier this week onto the Harvard University campus. Unfortunately, it starved to death before authorities could locate it. mattingly, Duke Bushido, pinecone and 2 others 2 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wcw43921 Posted December 16, 2018 Report Share Posted December 16, 2018 4 hours ago, archer said: A man-eating lion escaped earlier this week onto the Harvard University campus. Unfortunately, it starved to death before authorities could locate it. I always thought the Winklevoss Twins were rather manly. And I'm secure enough in my own manliness to say that. Ladies--doesn't that turn you on? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tkdguy Posted December 21, 2018 Report Share Posted December 21, 2018 I once took a class in programming. My final grade was C++. Pariah 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted January 14, 2019 Report Share Posted January 14, 2019 With friends like Autocorrect, who needs enemas? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mattingly Posted January 14, 2019 Report Share Posted January 14, 2019 Autocorrect can go to he'll. tkdguy, Hermit and Pariah 1 1 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted January 15, 2019 Report Share Posted January 15, 2019 Q: Why was Heisenberg such a terrible lover? A: Because when he got the momentum, he couldn't find the position, and when he found the position, he couldn't muster up the momentum. tkdguy 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted January 16, 2019 Report Share Posted January 16, 2019 A man once saw Albert Einstein on a train. He approached and said, "Excuse me, Dr. Einstein, but may I ask you a question?" "Of course," Einstein replied. "Thank you," the man answered. "Tell me, does Boston stop at this train?" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted January 16, 2019 Report Share Posted January 16, 2019 Did Schrödinger's cat have 18 half-lives? tkdguy 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted February 1, 2019 Report Share Posted February 1, 2019 There are two fish in a tank. One turns to the other and says, "Do you know how to drive this thing?" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Christougher Posted February 1, 2019 Report Share Posted February 1, 2019 When does a joke become a Dad joke? When it becomes apparent. Pariah, wcw43921 and BoloOfEarth 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted February 1, 2019 Report Share Posted February 1, 2019 3 hours ago, Christougher said: When does a joke become a Dad joke? When it becomes apparent. Hey, I resemble that remark! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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