Pariah 8,262 Posted February 24, 2016 Report Share Posted February 24, 2016 If you called a bike shop and asked if their business runs in cycles, would they refer you to a spokesperson? Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Pariah 8,262 Posted February 24, 2016 Report Share Posted February 24, 2016 Even if they're really attractive, you should never ask a photographer to step into a dark room with you to see what develops. The answer is almost always negative. (I know, it's a terrible pun--bad enough to make you shutter.) tkdguy, wcw43921, bigbywolfe and 1 other 4 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Pariah 8,262 Posted February 26, 2016 Report Share Posted February 26, 2016 Q: How do you keep a goofball in suspense? Starlord 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Pariah 8,262 Posted February 26, 2016 Report Share Posted February 26, 2016 Q: Why does the Little Mermaid wear seashells? A: Because beeshells are too small, and deeshells are too big. wcw43921, pinecone, Rails and 4 others 7 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Logan.1179 6,314 Posted February 26, 2016 Report Share Posted February 26, 2016 Pariah, Old Man and Cancer 3 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Pariah 8,262 Posted February 29, 2016 Report Share Posted February 29, 2016 Q: Why did Adele cross the road? A: So she could say "Hello" from the other side. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
mattingly 1,557 Posted February 29, 2016 Report Share Posted February 29, 2016 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Narf the Mouse 147 Posted March 1, 2016 Report Share Posted March 1, 2016 Well, there's worse fates. He could have caught the Dell laptop before it fell in. Pariah 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
megaplayboy 1,647 Posted March 1, 2016 Report Share Posted March 1, 2016 Hey! Dells occasionally don't suck! Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Pariah 8,262 Posted March 2, 2016 Report Share Posted March 2, 2016 Q: Why don't Marxists like Earl Grey tea? A: Because to a Marxist, all proper tea is theft. Starlord and Roter Baron 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Pariah 8,262 Posted March 2, 2016 Report Share Posted March 2, 2016 Hey! Dells occasionally don't suck! Oh, sure. Next I suppose you're going to tell me there was a second Highlander movie. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Bazza 4,768 Posted March 2, 2016 Report Share Posted March 2, 2016 Oh, sure. Next I suppose you're going to tell me there was a second Highlander movie. I have the DVD. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Pariah 8,262 Posted March 2, 2016 Report Share Posted March 2, 2016 I was initially against getting a brain transplant, but then I changed my mind. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Logan.1179 6,314 Posted March 2, 2016 Report Share Posted March 2, 2016 Someone really should post some jokes in this thread at some point. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
aylwin13 734 Posted March 2, 2016 Report Share Posted March 2, 2016 Someone really should post some GOOD jokes in this thread at some point. There, L-man. Fixed that for you. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Pariah 8,262 Posted March 2, 2016 Report Share Posted March 2, 2016 Someone really should post some jokes in this thread at some point. You are aware that "Someone" includes you, right? Quote Link to post Share on other sites
BoloOfEarth 3,218 Posted March 2, 2016 Report Share Posted March 2, 2016 An army major visits the sick soldiers, goes up to one private and asks: Major: "What's your problem, Soldier?"Soldier #1: "Chronic syphilis, Sir"Major: "What treatment are you getting?"Soldier #1: "Five minutes with the wire brush each day."Major: "What's your ambition?"Soldier #1: "To get back to the front, Sir.""Good man." says the Major. He goes to the next bed. "What's your problem, Soldier?"Soldier #2: "Chronic piles, Sir"Major:"What treatment are you getting?"Soldier #2: "Five minutes with the wire brush each day."Major: "What's your ambition?"Soldier #2: "To get back to the front, Sir.""Good man." says the Major. He goes to the next bed. "What's your problem, Soldier?"Soldier #3: "Chronic gum disease, Sir"Major: "What treatment are you getting?"Soldier #3: "Five minutes with the wire brush each day."Major: "What's your ambition?"Soldier #3: "To get the wire brush before the other two, Sir." Cancer and wcw43921 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
BoloOfEarth 3,218 Posted March 2, 2016 Report Share Posted March 2, 2016 A blonde goes to the doctor with burns on both of her ears and her right hand. "Sit down and tell me how it happened," says the doctor. "I was ironing my clothes when I received a call. Instead of picking up the phone, I picked up the iron and burned my ear." "'What about the other ear and your hand?" the doctor asked. She replied, "I tried to call for an ambulance." Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Logan.1179 6,314 Posted March 3, 2016 Report Share Posted March 3, 2016 You are aware that "Someone" includes you, right? See? Now that's funny! Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Starlord 5,279 Posted March 3, 2016 Report Share Posted March 3, 2016 Hermit, tkdguy, Shadow Hawk and 6 others 9 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Bazza 4,768 Posted March 8, 2016 Report Share Posted March 8, 2016 'I've been a very bad girl,' she said, biting her lip. 'I need to be punished.' 'Very well,' he said and installed Windows 10 on her laptop. https://twitter.com/50NerdsofGrey/status/640985632941064192 Pariah, Burrito Boy and Roter Baron 3 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Narf the Mouse 147 Posted March 10, 2016 Report Share Posted March 10, 2016 It should be noted that the average monkey is stronger, muscle mass for muscle mass, than the average human. Although the solution to this mystery has eluded scientists, I think the answer is clear: Monkeys are nuclear-powered. The proof: Potassium is radioactive. Bananas contain potassium. Therefore, I move that monkeys be included in the list of the world's nuclear powers. tkdguy and Logan.1179 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
tkdguy 3,336 Posted March 10, 2016 Report Share Posted March 10, 2016 A man starts feeding squirrels in the park. He writes to the Department of Parks & Recreation Services, asking why nobody else noticed a strain of squirrels with hairless tails. The Department writes back, asking him to stop feeding rats in the park. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Narf the Mouse 147 Posted March 11, 2016 Report Share Posted March 11, 2016 So Rhode Island gets transported back in time... ...Two Rhodes diverged in a would's one day. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Narf the Mouse 147 Posted March 12, 2016 Report Share Posted March 12, 2016 So Rhode Island gets transported back in time... ...Two Rhodes diverged in a would's one day. ...something tells me this one might be too obscure... Quote Link to post Share on other sites
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