Narf the Mouse Posted April 17, 2016 Report Share Posted April 17, 2016 Did you hear about the juggler who was scammed into buying shares in a chilli stew company that doesn't exist? Nobody told him "It's a chilli con, carny." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted April 17, 2016 Report Share Posted April 17, 2016 Borrowed from our old friend bunneh: Q: What's black and doesn't work? A: Decaffeinated coffee, you racist b@St@rd! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mattingly Posted April 17, 2016 Report Share Posted April 17, 2016 A comedienne friend of mine quipped: "I'm not feeling good. I think I'm getting mono. I hope the doctor can switch me back to stereo." I came back with: "You should see a radiologist!" tkdguy and Pariah 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted April 18, 2016 Report Share Posted April 18, 2016 "That's what." -She Logan D. Hurricanes 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Narf the Mouse Posted April 21, 2016 Report Share Posted April 21, 2016 Why did the troll cross the road? 50% off sale on lame jokes. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FrankL Posted April 22, 2016 Report Share Posted April 22, 2016 What does it mean if holy water sizzles when it hits your skin? Asking for a friend... Roter Baron 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted April 22, 2016 Report Share Posted April 22, 2016 You know how to make holy water, don't you? You put some water in a pot and boil the Hell out of it. wcw43921 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tkdguy Posted May 29, 2016 Report Share Posted May 29, 2016 A teenage boy is getting ready to take his girlfriend to the prom. First he goes to rent a tux, but there's a long tux line at the shop and it takes forever. Next, he has to get some flowers, so he heads over to the florist and there's a huge flower line there. He waits forever but eventually gets the flowers. Then he heads out to rent a limo. Unfortunately, there's a large limo line at the rental office, but he's patient and gets the job done. Finally, the day of the prom comes. The two are dancing happily and his girlfriend is having a great time. When the song is over, she asks him to get her some punch, so he heads over to the punch table and there's no punchline. Pariah, death tribble, Burrito Boy and 2 others 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted May 31, 2016 Report Share Posted May 31, 2016 Why was Six afraid of Seven? Because Seven was a registered six offender. Logan D. Hurricanes, Cancer and Burrito Boy 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cancer Posted May 31, 2016 Report Share Posted May 31, 2016 A prime one, at that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Logan D. Hurricanes Posted June 1, 2016 Report Share Posted June 1, 2016 You told me I'd never solve my problems with attention seeking. But, look at me now. tkdguy and death tribble 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tkdguy Posted June 1, 2016 Report Share Posted June 1, 2016 I once dated a woman who was so evil, I thought she wa the Antichrist. But it turns out she wasn't quite that bad. The numbers in her forehead only read 665. death tribble 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FrankL Posted June 1, 2016 Report Share Posted June 1, 2016 I once dated a woman who was so evil, I thought she wa the Antichrist. But it turns out she wasn't quite that bad. The numbers in her forehead only read 665. Was she from Oklahoma, by chance. Sounds like a girl I took out on two dates. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tkdguy Posted June 2, 2016 Report Share Posted June 2, 2016 Was she from Oklahoma, by chance. Sounds like a girl I took out on two dates. Once wasn't enough for you?! You do like to live dangerously! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BoloOfEarth Posted June 2, 2016 Report Share Posted June 2, 2016 Maybe she had multiple personalities, and he was hoping the other one might be better. Cancer 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lucius Posted June 2, 2016 Report Share Posted June 2, 2016 Have you met 664, the Neighbor of the Beast? Lucius Alexander The palindromedary thinks that's a sick sick sick joke tkdguy 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
megaplayboy Posted June 2, 2016 Report Share Posted June 2, 2016 666B. It's a duplex. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FrankL Posted June 2, 2016 Report Share Posted June 2, 2016 Maybe she had multiple personalities, and he was hoping the other one might be better. That would have been a much better reason than "I haven't had a second date in a while. She's attracted to me. Why not?" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted June 2, 2016 Report Share Posted June 2, 2016 That would have been a much better reason than "I haven't had a second date in a while. She's attracted to me. Why not?" Been there, done that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted June 7, 2016 Report Share Posted June 7, 2016 Q: Why does one not simply walk into Sauron's lair? A: Because there's always one more door. tkdguy 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mattingly Posted June 7, 2016 Report Share Posted June 7, 2016 Pariah, Logan D. Hurricanes, Bazza and 1 other 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FrankL Posted June 7, 2016 Report Share Posted June 7, 2016 I overheard my sons talking the other day. The eldest said, "You should have come with us. I met a man with a wooden leg named Smith." The youngest said, "And what's the name of his other leg?" Logan D. Hurricanes and Burrito Boy 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cancer Posted June 7, 2016 Report Share Posted June 7, 2016 Where are Tudor and Fordor? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Logan D. Hurricanes Posted June 7, 2016 Report Share Posted June 7, 2016 Where are Tudor and Fordor? Oh, Cancer....I expect that from Tribble or Bazza, but you? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cancer Posted June 7, 2016 Report Share Posted June 7, 2016 You say this to the guy who put a sign saying "The Land of the Singing Pigs" on his office door back in grad school? Tim, Tim Benzedrine Hash! Boo! Valvoline! First second, neutral, park, Hie thee hence, you leafy narc! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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