tkdguy Posted July 7, 2016 Report Share Posted July 7, 2016 Q: What is a wok? A: Something you thwow at a wabbit when you don't have a wifle. Stolen. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
megaplayboy Posted July 7, 2016 Report Share Posted July 7, 2016 A wifle do a lot of things, but not that. Pariah 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tkdguy Posted July 7, 2016 Report Share Posted July 7, 2016 And when you awe done, you wok over to pick up the wok and the wabbit, wok back to youwe wanch, and wussle up some veggies and wice, and stiw fwy them all togethew in youwe wok. Scwumptious wecipie! Pariah 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cancer Posted July 8, 2016 Report Share Posted July 8, 2016 How much swiwacha do you put in it? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
L. Marcus Posted July 8, 2016 Report Share Posted July 8, 2016 We shall weleafe Wogew! BoloOfEarth 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted July 17, 2016 Report Share Posted July 17, 2016 Q: How many graduate students does it take to change a light bulb? A: Just one, but it takes nine years. Logan D. Hurricanes and Cancer 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
megaplayboy Posted July 17, 2016 Report Share Posted July 17, 2016 Q: How many graduate students does it take to change a light bulb? A: Just one, but it takes nine years. Several different light bulbs will be researched and considered before being tossed away in disgust and starting over again. Pariah 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tkdguy Posted July 21, 2016 Report Share Posted July 21, 2016 What breakfast food became very unpopular during the American Revolution? Eggs Benedict Arnold. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Logan D. Hurricanes Posted July 21, 2016 Report Share Posted July 21, 2016 Is your refrigerator running? if so, I'd vote for it death tribble, tkdguy and Cancer 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tkdguy Posted July 22, 2016 Report Share Posted July 22, 2016 Is your refrigerator running? if so, I'd vote for it I would post that on another board, but I'd get banned for violating the "no politics" rule. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Starlord Posted July 26, 2016 Report Share Posted July 26, 2016 Chuck Norris has already caught every Pokemon in the world...using a land line. Pariah 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted July 26, 2016 Report Share Posted July 26, 2016 Q: How many tenured professors does it take to change a light bulb? A: Just one, but they'll probably get three papers out of it. tkdguy 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cancer Posted July 26, 2016 Report Share Posted July 26, 2016 If the light bulb was Sanduleak -69° 202, then you're short by factors of thousands. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
death tribble Posted July 31, 2016 Report Share Posted July 31, 2016 I would rather be a bank vault than wrong. After all is better to be safe than sorry. wcw43921 and Pariah 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FrankL Posted August 8, 2016 Report Share Posted August 8, 2016 [Proudly stolen from Jerry Clower and Lewis M. Grizzard Jr., my highschool idol and a great American!] I was just remembering this morning an event from my high school days. Back one dry summer, no body was catching any fish. They'd spend all day at the lake and rivers but come home empty. Not so my boyhood friend and idol, Chad J. Carpenter, a great American! He'd go out and return with his pickup truck loaded down with ice chests full of catfish, striper, or bass (depending on where he went that day). One day the local game and fish warden came to see him. "Son, I want to see how you're catching all these fish when no body else can get a thing." Chad shrugged and said, "Get in." 15 minutes later, out in the middle of the river, Chad pulled out a stick of dynamite from a tackle box. He trimmed the fuse. The warden said, "Son, that's against the law. You can't do that." Chad lit the fuse and handed it to the warden. "Son! Weren't you listening! I said this's against the law!" Chad raised an eyebrow at him. "Sir, you gonna sit there and argue or fish?" Hermit 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dmjalund Posted August 8, 2016 Report Share Posted August 8, 2016 A Jedi and his padawan on the moon: Jedi: I tell, you. You must not travel beyond that crater. Padawan: Why no? Master. Jedi: That way leads to the Dark Side. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cancer Posted August 9, 2016 Report Share Posted August 9, 2016 But what happens when the dark side comes to them? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wcw43921 Posted August 9, 2016 Report Share Posted August 9, 2016 But what happens when the dark side comes to them? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
death tribble Posted August 9, 2016 Report Share Posted August 9, 2016 I was thinking of working in the gastro-intestinal field but it turns out I don't have the stomach for it Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted August 9, 2016 Report Share Posted August 9, 2016 But what happens when the dark side comes to them? They meet the Terminator? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
death tribble Posted August 9, 2016 Report Share Posted August 9, 2016 But what happens when the dark side comes to them? Surely the Female Furies or Steppanwolf would go to them and then bring them to the Darkseid Bazza 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tkdguy Posted August 10, 2016 Report Share Posted August 10, 2016 What do you have when you hold two green balls? Kermit's full attention. L. Marcus 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bazza Posted August 10, 2016 Report Share Posted August 10, 2016 Why did the dinosaur cross the road? Chickens hadn’t evolved yet. Pariah, tkdguy and Shadow Hawk 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Starlord Posted August 10, 2016 Report Share Posted August 10, 2016 If you weigh 200 lbs on Earth, then you weigh 76 lbs on Mars. You're not overweight, you're just on the wrong planet. tkdguy 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted August 14, 2016 Report Share Posted August 14, 2016 Star Trek Light Bulb JokesQ: How many Romulans does it take to change a light bulb?A: Two - one to change the bulb, and one to put a knife in his back when he’s finished.Q: How many Cardassians does it take to change a light bulb?A: Just one, but his superior will end up taking credit for it.Q: How many Bajorans does it take to change a light bulb?A: “The Cardassians took away our light bulbs during the occupation. We had to rely on phosphorescent lichens we found in the caves.”Q: How many Ferengi does it take to change a light bulb?A: Whatever number will result in the maximum profit.Q: How many Klingons does it take to change a light bulb?A: Klingons are NOT afraid of the dark.Q: How many Vulcans does it take to change a light bulb?A: Logic dictates that only one Vulcan is needed to change a light bulb.A: I fail to see the humor, or relevance, in this question.Q: How many Founders does it take to change a light bulb?A: “Light bulbs are tools of the Solids. We don’t need them.”Q: How many Starfleet officers does it take to change a light bulb?A: Four - one to change the bulb and three more to argue about whether changing this particular bulb at this particular time is a violation of the Prime Directive.Q: How many Starfleet engineers does it take to change a light bulb?A: “The nearest replacement light bulb is at Starbase 23, which is 18 hours away at maximum warp. But I think I can get us there if I reverse the polarity and….”Q: How many Starfleet doctors does it take to change a light bulb?A: “Dammit, I’m a doctor, not an electrician!”Q: How many Kazon does it take to change a light bulb?A: Who cares?Q: How many Borg does it take to change a light bulb?A: All of them. Shadow Hawk, tkdguy, FrankL and 1 other 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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