mattingly Posted November 13, 2016 Report Share Posted November 13, 2016 A friend of mine says that this is an old joke, but I'd never heard it. Four Jews are sitting on the front stoop of the building in 1934 Berlin. The first sighs deeply. The second shakes his head and mutters sadly. The third just holds his head in his hand and sobs. The fourth says, "If all you guys are going to do is talk politics, I'm leaving!" Cancer, Pariah, aylwin13 and 2 others 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted November 13, 2016 Report Share Posted November 13, 2016 If it's really that old, we can update it by changing 'Jews' to 'Democrats' and '1934 Berlin' to '2016 Washington DC'.... aylwin13 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wcw43921 Posted November 17, 2016 Report Share Posted November 17, 2016 Little Girl Shocks Her Schoolteacher death tribble 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lucius Posted November 18, 2016 Report Share Posted November 18, 2016 Spoiilered for dirty yet accurate language... With two friends on a car ride.... Friend One looking out: "Hmm, donkeys... oops... caught them mating... they're mating. Now I feel pervy." Me: "It's worse than that..." Friend One : "How so?" Me: "Technically, you just saw someone taking it up the 'Ass' in public." Friend Two: *Breaks out laughing* Friend One: *Eyes narrow, is no longer talking to me* well a few hours later she talked to me, but apparently I am 'not funny' *Sigh* Ask her to forgive you. Offer to burro the hatchet. Lucius Alexander The palindromedary says I'm just being an ass Hermit 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hermit Posted November 20, 2016 Report Share Posted November 20, 2016 Ask her to forgive you. Offer to burro the hatchet. Lucius Alexander The palindromedary says I'm just being an ass Friend #1 says you too, are not funny Friend #2 laughed again Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted November 26, 2016 Report Share Posted November 26, 2016 "What do we want?" "CLICKBAIT!" "When do we want it?" "THE ANSWER WILL SHOCK YOU!!" aylwin13, Old Man, Burrito Boy and 4 others 7 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted November 27, 2016 Report Share Posted November 27, 2016 The King asked me if morale at the castle would improve if he fired one of the court comedians who wasn't really that funny. I told him I thought it was a useless jester. Old Man, Hermit, death tribble and 2 others 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Logan D. Hurricanes Posted November 27, 2016 Report Share Posted November 27, 2016 The King asked me if morale at the castle would improve if he fired one of the court comedians who wasn't really that funny. I told him I thought it was a useless jester. Pariah and Hermit 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hermit Posted November 27, 2016 Report Share Posted November 27, 2016 The King asked me if morale at the castle would improve if he fired one of the court comedians who wasn't really that funny. I told him I thought it was a useless jester. That is horrible...terrible... *Steals it* Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mattingly Posted November 27, 2016 Report Share Posted November 27, 2016 Some people have a king or queen bed. Mine is jester-sized. Pariah 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hermit Posted November 27, 2016 Report Share Posted November 27, 2016 "Daddy, why does Mommy drink so much wine?" "Because son, Daddy is worried she'll get mean if she starts drinking whiskey" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted November 27, 2016 Report Share Posted November 27, 2016 Well played. Logan D. Hurricanes 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FrankL Posted November 27, 2016 Report Share Posted November 27, 2016 The King asked me if morale at the castle would improve if he fired one of the court comedians who wasn't really that funny. I told him I thought it was a useless jester. My wife will hate that pun. I can't wait to share it with her! Logan D. Hurricanes and Pariah 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted November 27, 2016 Report Share Posted November 27, 2016 My wife will hate that pun. I can't wait to share it with her! My work here is done. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted November 28, 2016 Report Share Posted November 28, 2016 Why did the Star Wars movies go 4, 5, 6, 1, 2, 3? Because in charge of scheduling Yoda was. death tribble and wcw43921 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aylwin13 Posted November 29, 2016 Report Share Posted November 29, 2016 The King asked me if morale at the castle would improve if he fired one of the court comedians who wasn't really that funny.I told him maybe, if it was out of a cannon. A slightly different take, as it were. Pariah 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted November 30, 2016 Report Share Posted November 30, 2016 How do you tell the gender of an ant? Just throw it in the water. If it sinks, it's a girl ant. If it floats, it's buoyant. wcw43921 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lucius Posted December 1, 2016 Report Share Posted December 1, 2016 The King asked me if morale at the castle would improve if he fired one of the court comedians who wasn't really that funny. I told him maybe, if it was out of a cannon. A slightly different take, as it were. And yours is cannonical Lucius Alexander The palindromedary says it's a slightly different take that Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FrankL Posted December 3, 2016 Report Share Posted December 3, 2016 And yours is cannonical Lucius Alexander The palindromedary says it's a slightly different take that At least it isn't apocryphal. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FrankL Posted December 3, 2016 Report Share Posted December 3, 2016 Logan D. Hurricanes, Pariah and wcw43921 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted December 3, 2016 Report Share Posted December 3, 2016 I don't carrot all for all these vegetable puns. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bazza Posted December 3, 2016 Report Share Posted December 3, 2016 Me neither. Lettuce all forget them. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
death tribble Posted December 3, 2016 Report Share Posted December 3, 2016 Don't worry some new joke will turnip Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Logan D. Hurricanes Posted December 3, 2016 Report Share Posted December 3, 2016 Nothing beets a good pun. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Logan D. Hurricanes Posted December 3, 2016 Report Share Posted December 3, 2016 You don’t need a parachute to go skydiving. You need a parachute to go skydiving twice My teacher accused me of plagiarism. His words, not mine. What do you get when you cross the Atlantic with the Titanic? About half way. I, for one, like Roman numerals. Working in a mirror factory is something I can totally see myself doing. There is no “i” in denial I broke my finger last week. On the other hand, I’m okay. You can never lose a homing pigeon – if your homing pigeon doesn’t come back, what you’ve lost is a pigeon. I didn’t believe my dad was a construction site thief until I got home. All the signs were there. I have a stepladder, because my real ladder left when I was a kid. Pariah, tkdguy, wcw43921 and 4 others 7 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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