mattingly 1,329 Report post Posted November 13, 2016 A friend of mine says that this is an old joke, but I'd never heard it. Four Jews are sitting on the front stoop of the building in 1934 Berlin. The first sighs deeply. The second shakes his head and mutters sadly. The third just holds his head in his hand and sobs. The fourth says, "If all you guys are going to do is talk politics, I'm leaving!" 5 Hermit, aylwin13, death tribble and 2 others reacted to this Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Pariah 6,878 Report post Posted November 13, 2016 If it's really that old, we can update it by changing 'Jews' to 'Democrats' and '1934 Berlin' to '2016 Washington DC'.... 1 aylwin13 reacted to this Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
wcw43921 1,957 Report post Posted November 17, 2016 Little Girl Shocks Her Schoolteacher 1 death tribble reacted to this Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Lucius 2,984 Report post Posted November 18, 2016 Spoiilered for dirty yet accurate language... With two friends on a car ride.... Friend One looking out: "Hmm, donkeys... oops... caught them mating... they're mating. Now I feel pervy." Me: "It's worse than that..." Friend One : "How so?" Me: "Technically, you just saw someone taking it up the 'Ass' in public." Friend Two: *Breaks out laughing* Friend One: *Eyes narrow, is no longer talking to me* well a few hours later she talked to me, but apparently I am 'not funny' *Sigh* Ask her to forgive you. Offer to burro the hatchet. Lucius Alexander The palindromedary says I'm just being an ass 1 Hermit reacted to this Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Hermit 5,896 Report post Posted November 20, 2016 Ask her to forgive you. Offer to burro the hatchet. Lucius Alexander The palindromedary says I'm just being an ass Friend #1 says you too, are not funny Friend #2 laughed again Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Pariah 6,878 Report post Posted November 26, 2016 "What do we want?" "CLICKBAIT!" "When do we want it?" "THE ANSWER WILL SHOCK YOU!!" 7 Logan.1179, Burrito Boy, Old Man and 4 others reacted to this Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Pariah 6,878 Report post Posted November 27, 2016 The King asked me if morale at the castle would improve if he fired one of the court comedians who wasn't really that funny. I told him I thought it was a useless jester. 5 Old Man, wcw43921, death tribble and 2 others reacted to this Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Logan.1179 5,568 Report post Posted November 27, 2016 The King asked me if morale at the castle would improve if he fired one of the court comedians who wasn't really that funny. I told him I thought it was a useless jester. 2 Hermit and Pariah reacted to this Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Hermit 5,896 Report post Posted November 27, 2016 The King asked me if morale at the castle would improve if he fired one of the court comedians who wasn't really that funny. I told him I thought it was a useless jester. That is horrible...terrible... *Steals it* Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
mattingly 1,329 Report post Posted November 27, 2016 Some people have a king or queen bed. Mine is jester-sized. 1 Pariah reacted to this Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Hermit 5,896 Report post Posted November 27, 2016 "Daddy, why does Mommy drink so much wine?" "Because son, Daddy is worried she'll get mean if she starts drinking whiskey" Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Pariah 6,878 Report post Posted November 27, 2016 Well played. 1 Logan.1179 reacted to this Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
FrankL 660 Report post Posted November 27, 2016 The King asked me if morale at the castle would improve if he fired one of the court comedians who wasn't really that funny. I told him I thought it was a useless jester. My wife will hate that pun. I can't wait to share it with her! 2 Pariah and Logan.1179 reacted to this Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Pariah 6,878 Report post Posted November 27, 2016 My wife will hate that pun. I can't wait to share it with her! My work here is done. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Pariah 6,878 Report post Posted November 28, 2016 Why did the Star Wars movies go 4, 5, 6, 1, 2, 3? Because in charge of scheduling Yoda was. 2 death tribble and wcw43921 reacted to this Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
aylwin13 678 Report post Posted November 29, 2016 The King asked me if morale at the castle would improve if he fired one of the court comedians who wasn't really that funny.I told him maybe, if it was out of a cannon. A slightly different take, as it were. 1 Pariah reacted to this Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Pariah 6,878 Report post Posted November 30, 2016 How do you tell the gender of an ant? Just throw it in the water. If it sinks, it's a girl ant. If it floats, it's buoyant. 1 wcw43921 reacted to this Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Lucius 2,984 Report post Posted December 1, 2016 The King asked me if morale at the castle would improve if he fired one of the court comedians who wasn't really that funny. I told him maybe, if it was out of a cannon. A slightly different take, as it were. And yours is cannonical Lucius Alexander The palindromedary says it's a slightly different take that Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
FrankL 660 Report post Posted December 3, 2016 And yours is cannonical Lucius Alexander The palindromedary says it's a slightly different take that At least it isn't apocryphal. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
FrankL 660 Report post Posted December 3, 2016 3 Logan.1179, wcw43921 and Pariah reacted to this Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Pariah 6,878 Report post Posted December 3, 2016 I don't carrot all for all these vegetable puns. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Bazza 4,501 Report post Posted December 3, 2016 Me neither. Lettuce all forget them. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
death tribble 3,866 Report post Posted December 3, 2016 Don't worry some new joke will turnip Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Logan.1179 5,568 Report post Posted December 3, 2016 Nothing beets a good pun. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Logan.1179 5,568 Report post Posted December 3, 2016 You don’t need a parachute to go skydiving. You need a parachute to go skydiving twice My teacher accused me of plagiarism. His words, not mine. What do you get when you cross the Atlantic with the Titanic? About half way. I, for one, like Roman numerals. Working in a mirror factory is something I can totally see myself doing. There is no “i” in denial I broke my finger last week. On the other hand, I’m okay. You can never lose a homing pigeon – if your homing pigeon doesn’t come back, what you’ve lost is a pigeon. I didn’t believe my dad was a construction site thief until I got home. All the signs were there. I have a stepladder, because my real ladder left when I was a kid. 8 slikmar, wcw43921, Pariah and 5 others reacted to this Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
