Cancer 5,278 Report post Posted November 13, 2018 Also, things that you find while figuring out your psychiatrist is a cross-dresser. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
tkdguy 2,504 Report post Posted November 14, 2018 How to insult a math teacher: You put the ass in asymptote! 1 Pariah reacted to this Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Pariah 5,448 Report post Posted November 14, 2018 1 minute ago, tkdguy said: How to insult a math teacher: Hide contents You put the ass in asymptote! That joke is a sin. 1 tkdguy reacted to this Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
tkdguy 2,504 Report post Posted November 14, 2018 Just now, Pariah said: That joke is a sin. Not cos or tan? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Pariah 5,448 Report post Posted November 15, 2018 Today's news story: A mountain lion came down from the hills above Salt Lake City and made its way onto the campus of the University of Utah. By the time state wildlife officials captured the big cat, it had accumulated $20,000 in student loan debt. 1 5 pinecone, tkdguy, slikmar and 3 others reacted to this Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Hermit 4,930 Report post Posted November 16, 2018 And so my wife says to me "You haven't heard a word I said." and I thought to myself "What an odd way to begin a conversation." 1 3 slikmar, tkdguy, Pariah and 1 other reacted to this Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Pariah 5,448 Report post Posted November 20, 2018 Q: What did the chromosome say to the mRNA strand? A: "Do these genes make me look fat?" 1 Logan.1179 reacted to this Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Logan.1179 4,537 Report post Posted November 20, 2018 I've just been to a disgusting pub called "The Fiddle." It really was a vile inn. 1 Pariah reacted to this Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Cancer 5,278 Report post Posted November 20, 2018 I assume it sappy old Romantic-era string music playing, too. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Logan.1179 4,537 Report post Posted November 29, 2018 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Cancer 5,278 Report post Posted November 29, 2018 Note that Godel's Incompleteness Theorem means at least one of two things: (1) that there are true things which cannot be proven, or (2) it is possible to prove false things. Also, I think the assumption in the first line is provably false: I think there exist math jokes which are infinitely long, and I put forward the conjecture that there exists more than one cardinality among the infinite-length math jokes, and I suspect that tools for judging those cardinalities do not exist. Therefore, there are multiple match jokes which are infinitely long, and differing magnitudes of infinitely long, and you can't tell which. Therefore it is impossible to assess when you have made a new math joke longer than the longest one, because you can't tell them apart, and therefore it is impossible even in principle to perform the first step in your proof. Therefore what you have here is a conjecture, not a proof, that there are infinitely many math jokes and none of them are good. 1 L. Marcus reacted to this Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
archer 194 Report post Posted November 30, 2018 Baby Formula: M + F = B 1 Pariah reacted to this Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
mattingly 1,011 Report post Posted November 30, 2018 Don't forget to add the chemistry. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Pariah 5,448 Report post Posted December 15, 2018 Q: What did the cell say when his sister stepped on his toes? Q: Mitosis. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
archer 194 Report post Posted December 16, 2018 On 11/14/2018 at 7:19 PM, Pariah said: Today's news story: A mountain lion came down from the hills above Salt Lake City and made its way onto the campus of the University of Utah. By the time state wildlife officials captured the big cat, it had accumulated $20,000 in student loan debt. A man-eating lion escaped earlier this week onto the Harvard University campus. Unfortunately, it starved to death before authorities could locate it. 2 3 mattingly, Pariah, Duke Bushido and 2 others reacted to this Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
wcw43921 1,580 Report post Posted December 16, 2018 4 hours ago, archer said: A man-eating lion escaped earlier this week onto the Harvard University campus. Unfortunately, it starved to death before authorities could locate it. I always thought the Winklevoss Twins were rather manly. And I'm secure enough in my own manliness to say that. Ladies--doesn't that turn you on? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
tkdguy 2,504 Report post Posted December 21, 2018 I once took a class in programming. My final grade was C++. 1 Pariah reacted to this Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Pariah 5,448 Report post Posted January 14 With friends like Autocorrect, who needs enemas? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
mattingly 1,011 Report post Posted January 14 Autocorrect can go to he'll. 1 1 1 tkdguy, Pariah and Hermit reacted to this Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Pariah 5,448 Report post Posted January 15 Q: Why was Heisenberg such a terrible lover? A: Because when he got the momentum, he couldn't find the position, and when he found the position, he couldn't muster up the momentum. 1 tkdguy reacted to this Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Pariah 5,448 Report post Posted January 16 A man once saw Albert Einstein on a train. He approached and said, "Excuse me, Dr. Einstein, but may I ask you a question?" "Of course," Einstein replied. "Thank you," the man answered. "Tell me, does Boston stop at this train?" Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Pariah 5,448 Report post Posted January 16 Did Schrödinger's cat have 18 half-lives? 1 tkdguy reacted to this Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Pariah 5,448 Report post Posted February 1 There are two fish in a tank. One turns to the other and says, "Do you know how to drive this thing?" Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Christougher 174 Report post Posted February 1 When does a joke become a Dad joke? When it becomes apparent. 3 wcw43921, BoloOfEarth and Pariah reacted to this Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Pariah 5,448 Report post Posted February 1 3 hours ago, Christougher said: When does a joke become a Dad joke? When it becomes apparent. Hey, I resemble that remark! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
