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6 hours ago, Pariah said:

My friend called me and said he has dyscalculia. I said “What’s that?” He said “It’s like being dyslexic but mathematically.” I said “Sorry to hear that, mate. But if you think I can help, you’ve got the wrong number.”

 

"You can count on me, as long as you're not irrational."

 

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A shepherd's flock got scattered, but his faithful sheepdog brought all of the sheep back. The sheepdog reported, "I brought back your 40 sheep."

 

The shepherd responded, "But I only had 38 sheep."

 

"I know," said the sheepdog. "I rounded them up."

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