death tribble Posted August 2, 2019 Report Share Posted August 2, 2019 a truculent river was told that it was going to be curbed replied that it did not give a dam. tkdguy 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
archer Posted August 2, 2019 Report Share Posted August 2, 2019 My doctor assures me that insomnia is nothing to lose sleep over. wcw43921 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
death tribble Posted August 8, 2019 Report Share Posted August 8, 2019 Beware of the boxing gardener. When he is losing they throw in the trowel...... wcw43921 and tkdguy 1 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Logan D. Hurricanes Posted August 12, 2019 Report Share Posted August 12, 2019 slikmar 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bazza Posted August 21, 2019 Report Share Posted August 21, 2019 A local businessman claims his ex-neighbour jogs over twenty miles a day just to punch him. Police claim it's been a long running feud. tkdguy 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted August 28, 2019 Report Share Posted August 28, 2019 I was reminded of this one the other day. How many Borg drones does it take to change a light bulb? All of them. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted August 28, 2019 Report Share Posted August 28, 2019 What did the apple say to Rocket Raccoon as he was about to eat it? I am fruit! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Logan D. Hurricanes Posted August 30, 2019 Report Share Posted August 30, 2019 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted August 30, 2019 Report Share Posted August 30, 2019 ...and after breakfast, let's have an orogeny! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
archer Posted August 31, 2019 Report Share Posted August 31, 2019 Love is a many splintered thing, Pinocchio. tkdguy 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Logan D. Hurricanes Posted September 7, 2019 Report Share Posted September 7, 2019 Did you hear about the man who was hospitalized with six plastic horses inside him? The doctor described his condition as stable. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cancer Posted September 8, 2019 Report Share Posted September 8, 2019 5 hours ago, Logan.1179 said: Did you hear about the man who was hospitalized with six plastic horses inside him? The doctor described his condition as stable. He'd herd it before. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lucius Posted September 8, 2019 Report Share Posted September 8, 2019 14 hours ago, Logan.1179 said: Did you hear about the man who was hospitalized with six plastic horses inside him? The doctor described his condition as stable. 9 hours ago, Cancer said: He'd herd it before. Does his insurance cover it or will he have to pony up the money himself? Lucius Alexander The palindromedary says he's probably just caught a colt Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dmjalund Posted September 8, 2019 Report Share Posted September 8, 2019 give him a diuretic and call it the pony express Duke Bushido 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Logan D. Hurricanes Posted September 16, 2019 Report Share Posted September 16, 2019 When a clever quip blossoms into a full fledged pun, is it .... Completely groan? wcw43921 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
death tribble Posted September 16, 2019 Report Share Posted September 16, 2019 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted September 21, 2019 Report Share Posted September 21, 2019 Q: Why does Oedipus Rex refuse to use profane or vulgar language? A: Because he does kiss his mother with that mouth. wcw43921 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wcw43921 Posted September 27, 2019 Report Share Posted September 27, 2019 The teacher gave her fifth grade class an assignment: Get their parents to tell them a story with a moral at the end of it. The next day, the kids came back and, one by one, began to tell their stories. There were all the regular types of stuff: Spilled milk and pennies saved. But then the teacher realized, that only Janie was left. "Janie, do you have a story to share?" "Yes ma'am. My daddy told me a story about my Mommy. She was a Marine pilot in Desert Storm, and her plane got hit. She had to bail out over enemy territory, and all she had was a flask of whiskey, a pistol, and a survival knife. She drank the whiskey on the way down so the bottle wouldn't break, and then she parachuted right into the middle of 20 Iraqi troops. She shot 15 of them with the pistol, until she ran out of bullets, killed four more with the knife, till the blade broke, and then she killed the last Iraqi with her bare hands." ''Good Heavens," said the horrified teacher. "What did your Daddy tell you was the moral to this horrible story?" "Don't Screw with Mommy when she's been drinking." Cancer, Rails, Tjack and 2 others 3 1 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BoloOfEarth Posted September 27, 2019 Report Share Posted September 27, 2019 Heck, the moral could have just been "Don't Screw with Mommy," period. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted September 27, 2019 Report Share Posted September 27, 2019 My home town was so small, we all used to sneak off behind the barn and do nothing. My home town was so small, the local hooker was a virgin. My home town was so small, our ZIP code was EIEIO. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
archer Posted September 27, 2019 Report Share Posted September 27, 2019 My home town was so small, we didn't have a street to cross. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
archer Posted September 27, 2019 Report Share Posted September 27, 2019 When I was growing up, we were so poor that our dog only had three legs. (True story) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dmjalund Posted September 28, 2019 Report Share Posted September 28, 2019 Controversial Opinion: The original Spider-Gwen was Gwen Stefani and how did she get her powers? by walking into Spiderwebs Pariah 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted September 29, 2019 Report Share Posted September 29, 2019 It's been suggested that the perfect Safe Word is 'Meatloaf'. When you say it, it means, "I would do anything for love, but I won't do that." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lord Liaden Posted September 29, 2019 Report Share Posted September 29, 2019 Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read. Duke Bushido and Pariah 1 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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