Jump to content

Recommended Posts

14 hours ago, Logan.1179 said:

Did you hear about the man who was hospitalized with six plastic horses inside him?


The doctor described his condition as stable.


9 hours ago, Cancer said:


He'd herd it before.


Does his insurance cover it or will he have to pony up the money himself?

Lucius Alexander


The palindromedary says he's probably just caught a colt

Share this post

Link to post
Share on other sites

The teacher gave her fifth grade class an assignment: Get their parents to tell them a story with a moral at the end of it.


The next day, the kids came back and, one by one, began to tell their stories.


There were all the regular types of stuff: Spilled milk and pennies saved. But then the teacher realized, that only Janie was left.


"Janie, do you have a story to share?"


"Yes ma'am. My daddy told me a story about my Mommy. She was a Marine pilot in Desert Storm, and her plane got hit. She had to bail out over enemy territory, and all she had was a flask of whiskey, a pistol, and a survival knife.

She drank the whiskey on the way down so the bottle wouldn't break, and then she parachuted right into the middle of 20 Iraqi troops.  She shot 15 of them with the pistol, until she ran out of bullets, killed four more with the knife, till the blade broke, and then she killed the last Iraqi with her bare hands."


''Good Heavens," said the horrified teacher.  "What did your Daddy tell you was the moral to this horrible story?"


"Don't Screw with Mommy when she's been drinking."

Share this post

Link to post
Share on other sites

My home town was so small, we all used to sneak off behind the barn and do nothing.


My home town was so small, the local hooker was a virgin.


My home town was so small, our ZIP code was EIEIO.

Share this post

Link to post
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.

Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.


  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    No registered users viewing this page.

  • Create New...