Bazza Posted July 12, 2020 Report Share Posted July 12, 2020 That is true. Remember to periodically look over your shoulder and overhead. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mattingly Posted July 12, 2020 Report Share Posted July 12, 2020 13 hours ago, Bazza said: On 7/9/2020 at 11:09 AM, Pariah said: I tried throwing a boomerang a few weeks ago. Now I'm living in constant fear. Maybe it was a stick. You can't lose a homing pigeon. If it doesn't come back, what you've lost is... a pigeon. (Mitch Hedberg) bigbywolfe and Pariah 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bazza Posted July 14, 2020 Report Share Posted July 14, 2020 Police arrested two kids yesterday. One was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks. They charged one — and let the other off. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Christougher Posted July 16, 2020 Report Share Posted July 16, 2020 In the Champions Universe, Luis Fonsi never started his music career, instead becoming a Dr. Doom-esque megavillain known as ... Despot Cito. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted July 16, 2020 Report Share Posted July 16, 2020 Q: Why is the word Dark spelled with a K instead of a C? A: Because you can't C in the dark. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Logan D. Hurricanes Posted July 19, 2020 Report Share Posted July 19, 2020 My wife called me at work and asked, "Do you ever get a shooting pain across your body, like someone's got a voodoo doll of you and they're stabbing it?" Sounding concerned, I replied, "No..." She responded, "How about now?" Tjack, Starlord, Pariah and 2 others 2 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted July 23, 2020 Report Share Posted July 23, 2020 Ms. Johnson was teaching her sixth grade science class when she asked, "Who can tell me which organ of the human body expands to ten times its normal size when stimulated?" Most of the class sat in awkward silence, but two students raised their hands: Mary and Sam. Ms. Johnson called on Mary. Mary said, "How dare you ask us a question like this! This is completely inappropriate! I'm going to tell my parents, and they'll call the principal, and you'll get fired." Me. Johnson took a deep breath. "Sam? Do you know?" Sam answered, "It's the iris of the eye." "That's correct, Sam," Ms. Johnson said. Then she turned her attention back to Mary. "Young lady, three things have become quite obvious to me. First, you didn't do your homework. Second, you have a dirty mind. And third, one day you are going to be very, very disappointed." Duke Bushido, Starlord, wcw43921 and 2 others 2 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bazza Posted July 23, 2020 Report Share Posted July 23, 2020 Witch which is witch? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Starlord Posted July 28, 2020 Report Share Posted July 28, 2020 Ockham's Spoon 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tkdguy Posted July 28, 2020 Report Share Posted July 28, 2020 Much truth in that image. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
archer Posted July 28, 2020 Report Share Posted July 28, 2020 AWKWARDNESS That moment after you've recorded the entire "Hoarding" TV series but only then find out it is neither a how-to guide to more efficiently hoard things nor is it about World of Warcraft. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Logan D. Hurricanes Posted July 29, 2020 Report Share Posted July 29, 2020 A book just fell on my head. I only have my shelf to blame. Duke Bushido 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Logan D. Hurricanes Posted July 30, 2020 Report Share Posted July 30, 2020 My son Luke loves that we named our children after Star Wars characters. My daughter Chewbacca not so much. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
archer Posted July 30, 2020 Report Share Posted July 30, 2020 4 hours ago, Logan.1179 said: My son Luke loves that we named our children after Star Wars characters. My daughter Chewbacca not so much. Ungrateful daughter...Chewie had great hair. And their son Greedo is a shoe-in for Harvard's business school. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted July 31, 2020 Report Share Posted July 31, 2020 I was flipping through my copy of Les Miserables the other day when my 6 year old boy asked me, "Daddy, why is that book so thick?" I said, "Well, son, it's a long story." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Starlord Posted July 31, 2020 Report Share Posted July 31, 2020 What's the best thing about Switzerland? I dunno, but the flag is a big plus. wcw43921 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Starlord Posted July 31, 2020 Report Share Posted July 31, 2020 What did Neil Armstrong say when no one laughed at his moon jokes? I guess you had to be there. Pariah and mattingly 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Starlord Posted July 31, 2020 Report Share Posted July 31, 2020 I just saw the math teacher lock himself in his office with a piece of graph paper. I think he must be plotting something. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bazza Posted July 31, 2020 Report Share Posted July 31, 2020 Could also be a science teacher... ... @Pariah ... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted July 31, 2020 Report Share Posted July 31, 2020 I can neither confirm nor deny the truth of the statement. Or, to misquote Erwin Schrödinger, the statement could be true, or false, or both. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cancer Posted July 31, 2020 Report Share Posted July 31, 2020 Actually, if it was a science teacher s/he was probably plotting multiple things. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dmjalund Posted August 1, 2020 Report Share Posted August 1, 2020 Time Travelling cow MOOO! mattingly, Starlord and Amorkca 1 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dmjalund Posted August 1, 2020 Report Share Posted August 1, 2020 Knock Knock Who's There? Time Travelling cow Time Travelling cow Who? Starlord 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Starlord Posted August 1, 2020 Report Share Posted August 1, 2020 Nicely done, sir! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mattingly Posted August 1, 2020 Report Share Posted August 1, 2020 On 7/31/2020 at 2:51 PM, Pariah said: Or, to misquote Erwin Schrödinger, the statement could be true, or false, or both. Or neither! Many years back, I saw an interview with Siskel and Ebert. One reporter asked if they really liked each other or really hated each other. Simultaneously, one said "Neither" and the other said "Both." Logan D. Hurricanes and Amorkca 1 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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