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You don’t need a parachute to go skydiving. You need a parachute to go skydiving twice   My teacher accused me of plagiarism. His words, not mine.   What do you get when you cross the Atlantic wit

A man in Phoenix called his son in New York the day before Thanksgiving and said, “I hate to ruin your day, but I have to tell you that your mother and I are divorcing; forty-five years of misery is e

13 hours ago, Bazza said:


On 7/9/2020 at 11:09 AM, Pariah said:

I tried throwing a boomerang a few weeks ago. Now I'm living in constant fear.


Maybe it was a stick. 


You can't lose a homing pigeon.

If it doesn't come back, what you've lost is...

a pigeon.

(Mitch Hedberg)



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Ms. Johnson was teaching her sixth grade science class when she asked, "Who can tell me which organ of the human body expands to ten times its normal size when stimulated?" 


Most of the class sat in awkward silence, but two students raised their hands: Mary and Sam. Ms. Johnson called on Mary.


Mary said, "How dare you ask us a question like this! This is completely inappropriate! I'm going to tell my parents, and they'll call the principal, and you'll get fired."


Me. Johnson took a deep breath. "Sam? Do you know?"


Sam answered, "It's the iris of the eye."


"That's correct, Sam," Ms. Johnson said. Then she turned her attention back to Mary. "Young lady, three things have become quite obvious to me. First, you didn't do your homework. Second, you have a dirty mind. And third, one day you are going to be very, very disappointed."

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On 7/31/2020 at 2:51 PM, Pariah said:

Or, to misquote Erwin Schrödinger, the statement could be true, or false, or both.


Or neither!


Many years back, I saw an interview with Siskel and Ebert. One reporter asked if they really liked each other or really hated each other.

Simultaneously, one said "Neither" and the other said "Both."


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