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A man in Phoenix called his son in New York the day before Thanksgiving and said, “I hate to ruin your day, but I have to tell you that your mother and I are divorcing; forty-five years of misery is e

You don’t need a parachute to go skydiving. You need a parachute to go skydiving twice   My teacher accused me of plagiarism. His words, not mine.   What do you get when you cross the Atlantic wit

Two blondes are driving through Michigan and get to Sault Ste. Marie when they start to argue about how it's pronounced.  Frustrated (and a bit hungry), they pull into a fast food place and go inside.  After they place their orders, one of the blondes asked the cashier, "Could you help settle a bet for my friend and me?  How exactly is this place pronounced?"

The cashier looks at her for a moment and then says, very slowly "Burrrgerrr Kiiiing"

 

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A physicist went to court to plead not guilty to the charge of running a red light. With charts and graphs he explained to the judge how the light may have appeared red to the police officer sitting at the side of the road, but for him the light was blue-shifted due to the Doppler effect and appeared green to him.
 
The judge listened patiently, nodding occasionally and asking a few questions to clarify. In the end, the judge dismissed the charge of failure to stop at the red light..and then fined him $500 for speeding.
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(AP) President Trump this morning in a Rose Garden ceremony announced what he called a "Sun Shot" comparable to the Moon Shot NASA efforts of the 1960's and 1970's.

 

The President stated, "The Sun is a great big ball of plasma. It's a beautiful ball of plasma and the largest one in the entire solar system. And the United States will be bringing back enough plasma to treat all of our COVID-19 patients. I usually call it the China virus. Or the Wuhan virus. But I only call it that because that's what it is. If China had dealt with it, we wouldn't have to be dealing with it. But we're going to be bringing back enough sun plasma, you know the experts say that plasma is a great treatment and we're going to be giving it to Americans. We might even make money on this by selling sun plasma to other countries. Someone will have to run the numbers on that, but we can sell it to other countries as well. We're going to heal the whole world if we have to. And America will be the number one plasma country on the planet. Maybe before the election, maybe afterward but soon."

 

In an unrelated story, the heads of the CDC and NASA issued a joint statement this evening that they would no longer have both agencies doing presidential briefings on the same day.

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2 hours ago, archer said:

(AP) President Trump this morning in a Rose Garden ceremony announced what he called a "Sun Shot" comparable to the Moon Shot NASA efforts of the 1960's and 1970's.

 

The President stated, "The Sun is a great big ball of plasma. It's a beautiful ball of plasma and the largest one in the entire solar system. And the United States will be bringing back enough plasma to treat all of our COVID-19 patients. I usually call it the China virus. Or the Wuhan virus. But I only call it that because that's what it is. If China had dealt with it, we wouldn't have to be dealing with it. But we're going to be bringing back enough sun plasma, you know the experts say that plasma is a great treatment and we're going to be giving it to Americans. We might even make money on this by selling sun plasma to other countries. Someone will have to run the numbers on that, but we can sell it to other countries as well. We're going to heal the whole world if we have to. And America will be the number one plasma country on the planet. Maybe before the election, maybe afterward but soon."

 

In an unrelated story, the heads of the CDC and NASA issued a joint statement this evening that they would no longer have both agencies doing presidential briefings on the same day.

 

When asked about the dangers of landing a probe on the sun, the President responded, "Of course, we'll land it at night when the sun is off."

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