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You don’t need a parachute to go skydiving. You need a parachute to go skydiving twice   My teacher accused me of plagiarism. His words, not mine.   What do you get when you cross the Atlantic wit

A man in Phoenix called his son in New York the day before Thanksgiving and said, “I hate to ruin your day, but I have to tell you that your mother and I are divorcing; forty-five years of misery is e

I can't recall if I posted it before in these forums.  If so, I apologize.

 

When I was in college, my sophomore year roommate and I were both on scholarships from Air Force ROTC. 

 

On April 1, he called his dad and told him, "Dad, I need your advice.  I got a girl pregnant, and I don't know what to do.  I mean, I think I should marry her and raise the kid.  But if I do that, I'll probably have to drop out of school at least for a while, and I'll permanently lose my scholarship."  The conversation went on from there as you'd expect, with a very worried dad going over options with his son.

 

After about 10 minutes or so of this, my roomie said, "Oh, by the way, Dad, what's today?"  His dad realized it was an April Fool's joke and shouted, "You son of a b****!"

 

Now, my roomie's mom was only hearing her husband's half of the conversation, so she knew it was (supposedly) about something serious but not specifically what.  So she asked, "Why are you calling Charles that?!"  And my roomie's dad told him, "You tell your mother!" and handed over the phone.

 

Without missing a beat, my roomie said, "Mom, I got a girl pregnant..."

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I never believed that chiropractors could solve my back problems…. 2 weeks later I stand corrected.

 

What do you call two chiropractors who've got each other's backs? Vertebros

 

Anyone need some old copies of The Australian Chiropractor? I have lots of back issues.

 

Why did the chiropractor go bankrupt? He owed too much in back taxes

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