Bazza Posted April 20, 2021 Report Share Posted April 20, 2021 What do you call a person who is happy on Mondays? Unemployed On Monday we start diarrhea awareness week Runs until Friday Monday: Greg. Tuesday: Ian: Wednesday: Greg. Thursday: Ian. Friday: Greg Its the Gregorian calendar (GregOrIan) They're demoting me from food server to host starting Monday. I can't wait. The seven dwarves have been told they can meet in groups of 6 from Monday, in light of corona virus changes One of them isn't happy What do you call a Sunday dinner eaten on a Monday? Cold Monday Morning......Rolling out of bed is easy. Getting up off the floor is another story. Why was Sunday afraid of Monday? Because Monday through Friday Why are you all so excited it's Friday? Monday will be here in 5 minutes. Thank God It's Monday" ~ My Liver The only thing worse than Friday the 13th, is Monday the 13th "Today its Sunday" Forward this to 15 friends,.. within 7 days you'll get another Sunday. it really works... One of my friends ignored it and he got Monday within 24 hours. Pariah and wcw43921 1 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted April 20, 2021 Report Share Posted April 20, 2021 C, E-flat, and G walked into a bar. The bartender said, "Get out. We don't serve minors here." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cancer Posted April 20, 2021 Report Share Posted April 20, 2021 The G sighed, "I stand diminished." Pariah and Lee 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted April 20, 2021 Report Share Posted April 20, 2021 ...until E-flat left. Then C and G had an open fifth between them. Lee and Cancer 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lee Posted April 20, 2021 Report Share Posted April 20, 2021 Okay, did you two plan ahead for those jokes? They were just too good! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cancer Posted April 20, 2021 Report Share Posted April 20, 2021 No, I didn't. I remembered diminished chords my old music theory for nonmajors course 44 years ago, and never thought about the interval 5th. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted April 20, 2021 Report Share Posted April 20, 2021 That's fine. I feel like your comment really augmented our discussion. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bazza Posted April 20, 2021 Report Share Posted April 20, 2021 You two are not making any cents. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tombrown803 Posted April 20, 2021 Report Share Posted April 20, 2021 Their rich, they make dollars Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cancer Posted April 20, 2021 Report Share Posted April 20, 2021 2 minutes ago, Bazza said: You two are not making any cents. Give it a rest, Bazza. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bazza Posted April 20, 2021 Report Share Posted April 20, 2021 On that note, time to do something else. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dmjalund Posted April 20, 2021 Report Share Posted April 20, 2021 Q: Why does Eminem endorse the Johnson & Johnson vaccine? A: 'cause you only get one shot! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bazza Posted April 20, 2021 Report Share Posted April 20, 2021 Could a ... ... librarian be called a bookkeeper? ... referee be a game warden? ... dairyman be a cowboy? ... cabinetmaker be the president? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bazza Posted April 20, 2021 Report Share Posted April 20, 2021 There's a guy in town who walks around talking to himself using only figurative language. We call him the Village Idiom. Pariah 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bazza Posted April 20, 2021 Report Share Posted April 20, 2021 I can give you the cause of anaphylactic shock in a nutshell. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bazza Posted April 20, 2021 Report Share Posted April 20, 2021 Q: What happened to the guy who sued over his missing luggage? A: He lost his case. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bazza Posted April 20, 2021 Report Share Posted April 20, 2021 Hal: How did you get hit on the head with a book? Sal: I only have my shelf to blame. wcw43921 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bazza Posted April 20, 2021 Report Share Posted April 20, 2021 What did the librarian say when the books were in a mess? We ought to be ashamed of ourshelves! wcw43921 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bazza Posted April 20, 2021 Report Share Posted April 20, 2021 Q. What did one blade of grass say to another about the lack of rain? A. I guess we'll just have to make dew. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bazza Posted April 20, 2021 Report Share Posted April 20, 2021 Trying to get online at my mother-in-law's, I scrolled through various Internet access names. One neighbour's Wi-Fi really stood out: "You Kids Get Off My LAN!" slikmar 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bazza Posted April 21, 2021 Report Share Posted April 21, 2021 What's the difference between a poorly dressed man on a unicycle and a well-dressed man on a bicycle? Attire. Ockham's Spoon 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bazza Posted April 21, 2021 Report Share Posted April 21, 2021 Q: Why shouldn't you visit an expensive wig shop? A: It's too high a price 'toupee.' Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bazza Posted April 21, 2021 Report Share Posted April 21, 2021 Q. What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches? A. A nervous wreck. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bazza Posted April 21, 2021 Report Share Posted April 21, 2021 Q. How much money does a pirate pay for corn? A. A buccaneer. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bazza Posted April 21, 2021 Report Share Posted April 21, 2021 Don't interrupt someone working intently on a puzzle. Chances are, you'll hear some crosswords. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.