Cancer Posted April 28, 2021 Report Share Posted April 28, 2021 You're just saying that because you're a spineless wimp! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bazza Posted April 28, 2021 Report Share Posted April 28, 2021 On 4/20/2021 at 9:17 AM, Bazza said: I never believed that chiropractors could solve my back problems…. 2 weeks later I stand corrected. What do you call two chiropractors who've got each other's backs? Vertebros Anyone need some old copies of The Australian Chiropractor? I have lots of back issues. Why did the chiropractor go bankrupt? He owed too much in back taxes reposting as Logan is “borrowing” my chiropractor jokes. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ockham's Spoon Posted April 29, 2021 Report Share Posted April 29, 2021 On 4/27/2021 at 5:24 PM, Tjack said: I’ve always liked this joke, but looking at it now I’m wondering if it might not be funny anymore. When I was younger there was a joke about two nuns and a biker gang that ended with the line “And the older one says “Well we’re going back that way aren’t we?” Around 25 years ago I decided that it wasn’t funny until I changed it to two priests. I don’t know about that one either nowadays. What do you folks think? Yeah, I would say those haven't aged well. And I agree that 25 years ago I would have thought they were hilarious, but now they are a bit cringe-worthy. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bazza Posted April 29, 2021 Report Share Posted April 29, 2021 7 hours ago, aylwin13 said: OT: Hey Moderator, can you rename this thread "Bazza's Stand-up"? more again soon, likely tomorrow. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ockham's Spoon Posted April 29, 2021 Report Share Posted April 29, 2021 Three authors, Tom, Dick, and Harry, are at a writers' conference. After the conference they get a bite to eat and then they head back to their rooms, which are on the 75th floor of the building, only to discover that the elevator is out of order. So they begin climbing the stairs. To entertain themselves as they trudge up the steps, they agree to tell each other stories. Tom is well known for his humorous stories, and he keeps them in stitches for the first 25 floors. Dick primarily writes horror, and so by the time they reach the 50th floor they are really spooked. Then Harry takes over, his trademark being sad stories. When they finally reach their floor, Tom says "I am glad we are finally here, I don't think I could take another sad tale." Harry looks upset and says "Well I am afraid there is one more tragic tale you will have to hear." Dick asks "Why, what is it?" Harry says "It is the story of a man named Harry who left the hotel room key in the car." tkdguy 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cancer Posted April 29, 2021 Report Share Posted April 29, 2021 This thread makes me wish I had my old copy of Truly Tasteless Jokes Two. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted April 29, 2021 Report Share Posted April 29, 2021 What do you get when you take a fig with a mass of 1 kilogram and accelerate it at 1 meter per second squared? A cookie! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bazza Posted April 29, 2021 Report Share Posted April 29, 2021 1 hour ago, Cancer said: This thread makes me wish I had my old copy of Truly Tasteless Jokes Two. there is still the newsgroup Alt.tasteless.jokes, or its archive. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cancer Posted April 29, 2021 Report Share Posted April 29, 2021 The Truly Tasteless Jokes series of books went on for a long time, but I think it peaked in the second book. The first one the author had only herself to draw upon, but she solicited contributions. The best of those came early, and came in volumes 2 and to a lesser extent 3. The later ones were merely vicious, often merely vulgar, and very often clearly racist and/or sexist, but the early ones had some brilliant bits. Spoiler One of my best friends was 3rd generation Russian Jewish, and a couple of the Jewish Mother jokes made him laugh and cry at the same time, which to my mind was him validating those jokes. The best two (judging by his reaction) were Spoiler How many Jewish mothers does it take to change a light bulb? Spoiler "None, dear. I'll just sit here in the dark." Spoiler What's the difference between a vulture and a Jewish mother? Spoiler The vulture waits til after you're dead to eat your heart out. To me, those seem sharp and bitter, but nothing like vulgar, and they play to real, if admittedly stereotyped, behaviors. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tkdguy Posted April 29, 2021 Report Share Posted April 29, 2021 They had clean jokes in the Truly Tasteless books? I only remember the dirty ones! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Logan D. Hurricanes Posted April 29, 2021 Report Share Posted April 29, 2021 What’s the difference between in-laws & out-laws? Outlaws are wanted. aylwin13 and tkdguy 1 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bazza Posted April 29, 2021 Report Share Posted April 29, 2021 Clones are people two. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bazza Posted April 29, 2021 Report Share Posted April 29, 2021 How does Moses make tea? He brews. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bazza Posted April 29, 2021 Report Share Posted April 29, 2021 I have a fear of speed bumps, but I’m slowly getting over it. mattingly 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bazza Posted April 29, 2021 Report Share Posted April 29, 2021 What did the ill comic say in the hospital? "I'm here … all weak! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bazza Posted April 29, 2021 Report Share Posted April 29, 2021 Knock! Knock! Who's there? Convex. Convex who? Convex go to prison! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bazza Posted April 29, 2021 Report Share Posted April 29, 2021 Why can’t you explain puns to kleptomaniacs? They always take things literally. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bazza Posted April 29, 2021 Report Share Posted April 29, 2021 What do you call a Far Eastern monk who sells reincarnations? A used karma dealer. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bazza Posted April 29, 2021 Report Share Posted April 29, 2021 What did one eye say to the other? "Don't look now, but something between us smells." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bazza Posted April 30, 2021 Report Share Posted April 30, 2021 How do you turn a duck into a soul singer? Put it in the microwave until it's Bill Withers. mattingly 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bazza Posted April 30, 2021 Report Share Posted April 30, 2021 Why can't a woman ask her brother for help? Because he can't be a brother and assist her too. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bazza Posted April 30, 2021 Report Share Posted April 30, 2021 Algebra teacher: "What is seven Q plus three Q?" Student: "Ten Q." Teacher: "You're welcome." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bazza Posted April 30, 2021 Report Share Posted April 30, 2021 My house is haunted by a ghost-writer. Last night, I came home and my autobiography had been written. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bazza Posted April 30, 2021 Report Share Posted April 30, 2021 Did you hear that Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer never went to school? That's right—he was elf taught. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bazza Posted April 30, 2021 Report Share Posted April 30, 2021 I was out in the garden with my stepladder today. Not my real ladder. No, I don't get along with my real ladder. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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