Logan D. Hurricanes Posted July 30, 2021 Report Share Posted July 30, 2021 Not all math jokes are awful. Just sum. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bazza Posted July 30, 2021 Report Share Posted July 30, 2021 1 hour ago, Pariah said: Sounds like your girlfriend is √(-100): A solid 10, but imaginary. Who told you? That was a secret. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ockham's Spoon Posted July 31, 2021 Report Share Posted July 31, 2021 Due to budget cuts, the boss had to lay someone off, and he had narrowed it down to either Mary or Jack. It was a hard decision because they were both good workers. So he somewhat arbitrarily decided that he would fire whichever one of them was the first to use the water cooler the next day. As it so happened, Mary had been at a party the previous night and was suffering from a hangover, so early in the morning she was at the cooler to get some water to wash down an aspirin. The boss goes up to her and says "Mary, I have never done this before, but I have to either lay you or Jack off." Mary sighs "Could you just jack off? I feel like hell this morning." Tjack 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ockham's Spoon Posted July 31, 2021 Report Share Posted July 31, 2021 People are finally starting to socialize more now that they're vaccinated, and nice as it is, I am already hearing people complain about $7 beers, $10 parking, and $20 cover charge. All I have to say is that if you don't like those prices, stop coming to my house. Christougher, mattingly, wcw43921 and 2 others 2 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bazza Posted July 31, 2021 Report Share Posted July 31, 2021 Done. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cancer Posted July 31, 2021 Report Share Posted July 31, 2021 23 hours ago, Logan.1179 said: Not all math jokes are awful. Just sum. That is the product of a divide-and-conquer mindset. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tkdguy Posted July 31, 2021 Report Share Posted July 31, 2021 That kind of mindset multiplies quite easily. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Logan D. Hurricanes Posted August 1, 2021 Report Share Posted August 1, 2021 Where do bad rainbows go? Prism. Only a light sentence. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ockham's Spoon Posted August 1, 2021 Report Share Posted August 1, 2021 My wife called from upstairs "Hey, do you ever get a shooting pain through your body, like somebody has a voodoo doll of you and is stabbing it?" I replied "Um, no..." She responded "Okay, how about now?" Logan D. Hurricanes, Pariah and wcw43921 1 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ockham's Spoon Posted August 2, 2021 Report Share Posted August 2, 2021 A car full of Irish nuns is sitting at a traffic light in Dublin when a bunch of rowdy drunks pulls up along-side them. "Show us yer titties!" one of the drunks shouts, with encouraging hoots from his friends. The Mother Superior is shocked, and says to Sister Mary sitting next to her "I don't think those hooligans know who we are! Show them your cross Sister Mary." So Sister Mary leans out the window and yells "Piss off, you fookin' little wankers before I come over there and rip yer balls off!" She turns back to the Mother Superior and asks "Did that sound cross enough?" slikmar, Tjack, Pariah and 2 others 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Duke Bushido Posted August 4, 2021 Report Share Posted August 4, 2021 slikmar, tkdguy, Logan D. Hurricanes and 1 other 2 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted August 4, 2021 Report Share Posted August 4, 2021 When an eel bites your thigh And you bleed out and die That's a moray Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mattingly Posted August 4, 2021 Report Share Posted August 4, 2021 When a Japanese knight Wields a sword in a fight That's samurai Pariah, Christougher and tkdguy 2 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tkdguy Posted August 4, 2021 Report Share Posted August 4, 2021 But what if the samurai wields a naginata? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cancer Posted August 4, 2021 Report Share Posted August 4, 2021 16 minutes ago, tkdguy said: But what if the samurai wields a naginata? <sing> Na-gi-na-ta, na-gi-na-ta, hey hey, good bye. </sing> Christougher, wcw43921, Pariah and 1 other 1 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mattingly Posted August 5, 2021 Report Share Posted August 5, 2021 Na-gi-na-ta, na-gi-na-ta, BATMAN! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Logan D. Hurricanes Posted August 5, 2021 Report Share Posted August 5, 2021 1 hour ago, mattingly said: Na-gi-na-ta, na-gi-na-ta, BATMAN! Is that a joke? Is Batman a joke to you?? Batman is no joke. Pariah and wcw43921 1 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ockham's Spoon Posted August 7, 2021 Report Share Posted August 7, 2021 It makes me worry when the AI has a mocking sense of humor. I had to change my password the other day (again), and after multiple attempts that didn't meet various password requirements, in frustration I typed in MYPENIS. It came back with an error message saying that was too short. tkdguy and BoloOfEarth 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Christougher Posted August 7, 2021 Report Share Posted August 7, 2021 9 hours ago, Ockham's Spoon said: It makes me worry when the AI has a mocking sense of humor. I had to change my password the other day (again), and after multiple attempts that didn't meet various password requirements, in frustration I typed in MYPENIS. It came back with an error message saying that was too short. Strange, when I tried it, the error message came back "Get a new joke." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Logan D. Hurricanes Posted August 10, 2021 Report Share Posted August 10, 2021 I got fired from the bank today. A woman asked me to check her balance, so I pushed her. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Christougher Posted August 10, 2021 Report Share Posted August 10, 2021 During a discussion on character creation and CIty of Heroes style origins of powers, the Infinity Gauntlet was mentioned. I considered the idea of a similar artifact, but related to power Origins. So our would-be Thanos gathers the Tech Stone, the Science Stone, the Magic Stone, the Mutant Stone... And then picks up an unremarkable rock off the ground, and slams it into the gauntlet as the Natural Stone. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted August 11, 2021 Report Share Posted August 11, 2021 On 8/1/2021 at 1:36 PM, Logan.1179 said: Where do bad rainbows go? Prism. Only a light sentence. That was a terrible joke. I think maybe you need some quiet time to reflect on the direction of your life. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Logan D. Hurricanes Posted August 12, 2021 Report Share Posted August 12, 2021 wcw43921 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tkdguy Posted August 13, 2021 Report Share Posted August 13, 2021 Quoted from a YouTube video: Q: What's the difference between Mordor and Twitter? A: One is a sulfurous, unforgiving realm where a single wrong move means instant death, and only a fool would dare to tread. The other is where Sauron lives. mattingly and Pariah 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bazza Posted August 13, 2021 Report Share Posted August 13, 2021 Fairly accurate. tkdguy 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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