Greywind Posted September 30, 2021 Report Share Posted September 30, 2021 What do you call a wreath made of $100 bills? Spoiler Aretha Franklins On 9/27/2021 at 9:56 PM, Pariah said: Remember, there's no "I" in "team", but there are two in "schizophrenia". There is. It's in the A-hole. Hugh Neilson 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Logan D. Hurricanes Posted September 30, 2021 Report Share Posted September 30, 2021 Me: See? To prove I'm not some boring house dad, I got a tattoo. Her: Oh cool! It's... uh? Me: (proudly) It's my thermos! From work! Her: Well, uh, the line work is certainly... Me: Don't touch the thermos tat! mattingly and L. Marcus 1 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cancer Posted September 30, 2021 Report Share Posted September 30, 2021 It would be better if the last line read "Me: (hotly) ..." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Logan D. Hurricanes Posted September 30, 2021 Report Share Posted September 30, 2021 55 minutes ago, Cancer said: It would be better if the last line read "Me: (hotly) ..." I kind of agree. It was originally just a period there, but I changed it to an exclamation mark. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ockham's Spoon Posted October 1, 2021 Report Share Posted October 1, 2021 An old man climbs onto a bus, only to find there are no seats left, so he just leans on his walking stick. When the bus brakes suddenly, he slips and falls on the lap of a teen boy. The boy says snarkily "You know if you had just put a rubber on the end of that stick, that wouldn't have happened." The old man replies "And if your father had taken the same advice, I'd have a seat!" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ockham's Spoon Posted October 2, 2021 Report Share Posted October 2, 2021 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Logan D. Hurricanes Posted October 2, 2021 Report Share Posted October 2, 2021 My wife kicked me out of the house for my bad Arnold Schwarzenegger references, but don’t worry... I’ll return. Christougher 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted October 3, 2021 Report Share Posted October 3, 2021 Aibohphobia: The irrational fear of palindromes. BoloOfEarth 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Logan D. Hurricanes Posted October 3, 2021 Report Share Posted October 3, 2021 Pariah and Ockham's Spoon 1 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Logan D. Hurricanes Posted October 4, 2021 Report Share Posted October 4, 2021 If I had 50 cents for every math exam I've failed I'd have $6.30. Pariah 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Logan D. Hurricanes Posted October 4, 2021 Report Share Posted October 4, 2021 What do ghosts call their boobies? Spoiler Paranormal entitties. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted October 4, 2021 Report Share Posted October 4, 2021 Why couldn't Mr. and Mrs. Ghost have kids? Spoiler Hollow weenie. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Logan D. Hurricanes Posted October 5, 2021 Report Share Posted October 5, 2021 Tonight we're having Himalayan rabbit stew for dinner. We found Himalayan in the road. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Greywind Posted October 6, 2021 Report Share Posted October 6, 2021 L. Marcus, Pariah, slikmar and 4 others 5 1 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cancer Posted October 6, 2021 Report Share Posted October 6, 2021 On 10/3/2021 at 5:55 PM, Logan.1179 said: If I had 50 cents for every math exam I've failed I'd have $6.30. Quoted and spammed to an appropriate place where students will see it. Logan D. Hurricanes 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Logan D. Hurricanes Posted October 6, 2021 Report Share Posted October 6, 2021 I got fired from the keyboard factory today. It seems I wasn't putting in enough shifts. Tjack 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tjack Posted October 6, 2021 Report Share Posted October 6, 2021 1 hour ago, Logan.1179 said: I got fired from the keyboard factory today. It seems I wasn't putting in enough shifts. It seems they thought you were a shiftless worker. Or shifty, either one. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cancer Posted October 7, 2021 Report Share Posted October 7, 2021 Not enough shifts. Too much Fn. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dmjalund Posted October 7, 2021 Report Share Posted October 7, 2021 you need to ctrl yourself Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted October 7, 2021 Report Share Posted October 7, 2021 8 hours ago, Logan.1179 said: I got fired from the keyboard factory today. It seems I wasn't putting in enough shifts. Or maybe you were just drinking on the job too much. I understand you spent a lot of time with the astronauts at the space bar. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bazza Posted October 7, 2021 Report Share Posted October 7, 2021 Once you’ve made a keyboard joke there is no Return. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mattingly Posted October 7, 2021 Report Share Posted October 7, 2021 You just needed more space from your career. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
L. Marcus Posted October 7, 2021 Report Share Posted October 7, 2021 Keep it under tabs for now. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Logan D. Hurricanes Posted October 7, 2021 Report Share Posted October 7, 2021 Told my wife I wanted to be cremated. She made me an appointment for Tuesday. aylwin13 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted October 7, 2021 Report Share Posted October 7, 2021 Well, at least you know now. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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