RexMundi Posted March 24, 2010 Report Share Posted March 24, 2010 Re: Jokes No Bald Jokes? Really? Little Johnny was eating breakfast one morning and got to thinking about things. “Mommy, mommy, why has daddy got so few hairs on his head?” he asked his mother. “He thinks a lot,” replied his mother, pleased with herself for coming up with a good answer to her husband's baldness. Or she was until Johnny thought for a second and asked, “So why do you have so much hair?” Why do bald-headed men never use keys? Because they've lost their locks. A guy walks into a comedy club and the comedian spots his bald head,, he turns to the crowd and says.."look that guy spent all night doing his hair and then forgot to bring it with him...." Doctor, doctor, can you give me something for my baldness? How about a few pounds of pig manure? Will that cure my baldness? No, but with that on your head no one will come near enough to notice you're bald. A poor pharmacist once concocted a solution that put hair on a billiard ball, but it didn't make him rich. Who would want to buy a billiard ball with hair on it? ~Rex Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bazza Posted March 24, 2010 Report Share Posted March 24, 2010 Re: Jokes No Bald Jokes? Really? Jokes are supposed to be funny. those weren't funny at all. As I said -- no laughing matter Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bazza Posted March 24, 2010 Report Share Posted March 24, 2010 Re: Jokes *Starts singing "What do you give a bald guy for Christmas?"* a sexy woman and 365 condoms Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mwiggins Posted March 24, 2010 Report Share Posted March 24, 2010 Re: Jokes A man got on a plane and sat next to a blonde, after sitting for awhile she sneezed, took out a tissue and whipped her box. The man not knowing her said nothing and went about his business. After about 3 or 4 minutes she sneezed again and, the same thing, whipped her box. Finally, the man got the nerve and asked "what was wrong? " She said that every time she sneezes she has an orgasm. "Oh! " the man said, are you taking anything for it? "Yes ", she said - "black pepper! " Funny, But I'm pretty sure it's spelled "WIPED" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SteveZilla Posted March 24, 2010 Report Share Posted March 24, 2010 Re: Jokes *Starts singing "What do you give a bald guy for Christmas?"* I was going to reply but Bazza had one is better than what I was going to say, except... a sexy woman and 365 condoms Only 365? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
matrix3 Posted March 24, 2010 Report Share Posted March 24, 2010 Re: Jokes If we're telling blonde jokes, here are a few golden oldies that might be new to someone: What do you call a bunch of blondes in a walk-in freezer? Frosted Flakes How do you know a blonde woman has a blonde boyfriend? She has a bruised belly button. What did the blonde get when she accidentally drove her BMW through the USC campus? A degree. EDIT: Oops, I missed the streak of bald jokes...oh well, enjoy the blonde jokes! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tkdguy Posted March 24, 2010 Report Share Posted March 24, 2010 Re: Jokes At the local bar, an obnoxious drunk starts harassing a bald man. He runs his hand over the man's head and says, "Hey, your head is as smooth as my wife's butt!" The bald man touches his head and says, "Hey, I think you're right about that!" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bazza Posted March 24, 2010 Report Share Posted March 24, 2010 Re: Jokes Funny' date=' But I'm pretty sure it's spelled "WIPED"[/quote'] I got it from somewhere I missed that. that for picking it up. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ghost-angel Posted March 24, 2010 Report Share Posted March 24, 2010 Re: Jokes There's this blonde out for a walk. She comes to a river and sees another blonde on the opposite bank. 'Yoo-hoo!' she shouts, 'How can I get to the other side?' The second blonde looks up the river then down the river and shouts back, 'You ARE on the other side.' This one isn't a joke, it's a Koan. change the blondes to Buddhist Monks though. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shadow Hawk Posted March 25, 2010 Report Share Posted March 25, 2010 Re: Jokes I was going to reply but Bazza had one is better than what I was going to say, except... Only 365? Sure. You use one per day. Then, once you run out, you make a tire and call it a GoodYear. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
yamamura Posted March 25, 2010 Report Share Posted March 25, 2010 Re: Jokes This one isn't a joke' date=' it's a Koan. change the blondes to Buddhist Monks though.[/quote'] Great now I have an image of a Buddhist Monk shouting "Yoo-hoo!" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
matrix3 Posted March 25, 2010 Report Share Posted March 25, 2010 Re: Jokes Great now I have an image of a Buddhist Monk shouting "Yoo-hoo!" And I have an image of one drinking a bottle of Yoo-Hoo... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mattingly Posted March 25, 2010 Report Share Posted March 25, 2010 Re: Jokes Great now I have an image of a Buddhist Monk shouting "Yoo-hoo!" More properly, that would be "Yu-hu!" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
matrix3 Posted March 25, 2010 Report Share Posted March 25, 2010 Re: Jokes More properly' date=' that would be "Yu-hu!"[/quote'] Who? You? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BoloOfEarth Posted March 25, 2010 Report Share Posted March 25, 2010 Re: Jokes Not You Too! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shadow Hawk Posted March 25, 2010 Report Share Posted March 25, 2010 Re: Jokes Who? You? Who's on first. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
matrix3 Posted March 25, 2010 Report Share Posted March 25, 2010 Re: Jokes Who's on first. I mean the fellow's name. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shadow Hawk Posted March 25, 2010 Report Share Posted March 25, 2010 Re: Jokes I mean the fellow's name. Who! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Narf the Mouse Posted March 25, 2010 Report Share Posted March 25, 2010 Re: Jokes Who! What? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ghost-angel Posted March 26, 2010 Report Share Posted March 26, 2010 Re: Jokes Second Base! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tim Posted March 26, 2010 Report Share Posted March 26, 2010 Re: Jokes Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Enforcer84 Posted March 26, 2010 Report Share Posted March 26, 2010 Re: Jokes Jokes are supposed to be funny. those weren't funny at all. As I said -- no laughing matter says you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Old Man Posted March 27, 2010 Report Share Posted March 27, 2010 Re: Jokes Second Base! Who's feeling me up?! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted March 27, 2010 Report Share Posted March 27, 2010 Re: Jokes Is this really the direction we want to take this thread? I don't know.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
McCoy Posted March 27, 2010 Report Share Posted March 27, 2010 Re: Jokes Third base! Somebody had to say it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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