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Bizarre Spell Ideas


Michael Hopcroft

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Re: Bizarre Spell Ideas

 

Find Your ***

Detect Buttocks, Discriminatory (Touch Sense Group), Gestures (both hands), OAF Roadmap

 

"This is your ***. THIS is a hole in the ground. KNOW THE DIFFERENCE!"

 

Oh Zeus, You Randy Bastard You!: Shapeshift into whatever form will enable you to screw the person you have a temporary interest in, whether through charm, force, deception or simple stealth ("Why is that duck climbing my leg? How is he even doing it? Ducks can't climb -- oh my....") PLUS Transform: Human to Impregnated Human, which means that your willing, unwilling or merely bewildered paramour is going to give birth to your divinely-powered offspring. Even if they aren't fertile that day. Even if they're MALE, which is REALLY going to confuse them.

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Re: Bizarre Spell Ideas

 

Summon Gun Bunny: A rabbit appears. Other than the metal tube poking out of its head, and the trigger and trigger guard poking from its tummy, it's an ordinary rabbit.

 

If you can catch it, and point its head towards a target, you can pull the trigger, which causes a bullet to be fired.

 

It also makes the rabbit explode, killing it. It is, obviously, a one-shot weapon.

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Re: Bizarre Spell Ideas

 

Pills that Mother gives You don't do Anything at All.

- - - transforms dry spell components or foci into useless chalk tablets.

 

 

Hookah smoking Caterpillar Has given You the Call

- - - message delivery service via some creature least likely to inpsire belief in message recipient.

 

 

White Knight is Talking Backwards

- - - the more god and/or heroic the target's Psych disads are, the more garbled his communications.

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Re: Bizarre Spell Ideas

 

This is more the way a spell backfired, but...

 

We were out to rescue a wizard who was being held near an artifact that muddled or suppressed magick (thus he couldn't rescue himself.) We were seeking a man with the stereotypical long flowing white locks of hair. We found a man in a cell alright, but he was bald. He told us all his hair fell out when he tried to cast a spell to get out and it misfired.

 

Lucius Alexander

 

The palindromedary wonders how many people will realize WHY it made his hair fall out.

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Re: Bizarre Spell Ideas

 

I Am The Walrus

A simple Shapeshift spell developed by northlands mages to disguise themselves as native animals. Less useful in tropical climes.

OAF spectacles.

 

You Ain't Nothin But A...

Another animal-Shapeshift spell, this one turns the unfortunate victim into a rather unattractive (and unhappy) mutt.

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Re: Bizarre Spell Ideas

 

Speak With Dad: Allows the caster to ask their father for advice. Unfortunately, it often begins with "When I was your age...."

 

Improved Speak With Dad: As above, but response is usually in cash.

 

Undocumented Servant: Summons a socially invisible helper to perform tasks. Also available in a Wal-mart (245 at a time) version, but the Real Cost rises to $11 million.

 

Magic Missal: Summons a small prayer book, which may be thrown at enemies with complete accuracy, but not when Sister is looking.

 

JoeG

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Re: Bizarre Spell Ideas

 

I Am The Walrus

A simple Shapeshift spell developed by northlands mages to disguise themselves as native animals. Less useful in tropical climes.

OAF spectacles.

They Are The Eggmen

A more complicated Transform that alters human biological systems in ways best left uncontemplated.

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Re: Bizarre Spell Ideas

 

Vision of Unlimited Healing.

 

Images, Mental Illusions, and an Aid to CON and STUN.

 

Mental Illusions combined with the increased CON and STUN (so he doesn't feel the wounds as much) convinces the subject that he is healing wounds as soon as he recieves them. Images makes it look that way to everyone else too, which can be very impressive.

 

Unfortunately, the spell breaks if the subject falls over dead. And if they survive, when the spell ends and they realize how seriously they ARE hurt, hope they don't go after the castor for convincing them to fight on without realizing how badly injured they really were.

 

Lucius Alexander

 

To summon a palindromedary: Sator Arepo Tenet Opera Rotas

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Re: Bizarre Spell Ideas

 

Wouldn't that summon a square palindromedary? Or' date=' rather, a cubic one?[/quote']

 

Or maybe a palindromedary in a tesseract.

 

Lucius Alexander

 

To dismiss the palindromedary, repeat the same incantation backwards

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