Mightybec Posted February 20, 2003 Report Share Posted February 20, 2003 Ok guys, in your opinion, who is the dorkiest hero or villian in comic history, and why? Mightybec Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rage Posted February 20, 2003 Report Share Posted February 20, 2003 AHh the old MORT of the month... I would have to say Eye man.. with eyes on his hands. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Patriot Posted February 20, 2003 Report Share Posted February 20, 2003 Dork .....FoxBat!!!!! (I dive for cover) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Law Dog Posted February 20, 2003 Report Share Posted February 20, 2003 Originally posted by Rage AHh the old MORT of the month... I would have to say Eye man.. with eyes on his hands. You mean the Ten-Eyed Man from Batman and Man-Bat appearances in the 70's. Thankfully, he met his fate in the pages of Crisis on Infinite Earths. His optic nerves literally ran through his finger tips. The police were so afraid that this ability would help him escape, they kept him in his cell with his hands locked in a lightless box. Now how the heck would this help you escape? If anything, it would impede you since his finger tips were incredibly sensitive to pressure, just like your eyes. He certainly couldn't pick the cell lock. Other than using this power to get a cheap thrill in area where the woman wear short skirts and sit (like in restaurant booths), I can't see much of a positive to it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Law Dog Posted February 20, 2003 Report Share Posted February 20, 2003 Oh, and here is a great collection of lame folk. http://www.sean-walsh.com/comixlibrary/lame.htm Of special note is the really lame southwest villains of Gila, Butte and Cactus (I think Sunstroke was with these clowns). As a resident of the Southwest, I really want to kick the ass of the clown that came up with these refugees from the Tick. Pretty trite. I can see the fool who created these thinking "Duh, oh boy, I'll make some villains that are instantly recognized as being from the southwest. Never been there, so I'll make them so stupidly stereotypical, I'll have time to get back to my pudding before I get in my PJ's for beddy bye." Well, pal, here are some New York villains that you can use. The Mugger. He mugs people all the time. Hundreds of people every day. Taxi Cab Hack. He steals from people who mistakenly get in his cab. Smells-Like-Urine Subway Dweller. His name says it all. The Pigeon. The newest aerial threat. Drops his special pigeon bomb on your car. Hey, look at me, I can write for Marvel. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kara Zor-El Posted February 20, 2003 Report Share Posted February 20, 2003 Re: Dorkiest Hero/Villian Originally posted by Mightybec Ok guys, in your opinion, who is the dorkiest hero or villian in comic history, and why? Mightybec Jim Shooter, the Death of Phoenix. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Agent X Posted February 20, 2003 Report Share Posted February 20, 2003 The Shark from Green Lantern was just... stupid. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BNakagawa Posted February 20, 2003 Report Share Posted February 20, 2003 The Red Nine. Some yahoo from the sticks who came to the big apple to beat up Spiderman in order to make a name for himself. Why god, why? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Agent X Posted February 20, 2003 Report Share Posted February 20, 2003 The Rocket Racer The Human Fly Razorback the Thin Man The Beaver Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Enforcer84 Posted February 20, 2003 Report Share Posted February 20, 2003 Batman. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mightybec Posted February 20, 2003 Author Report Share Posted February 20, 2003 Does anyone remember Styx? Him and and a guy called Stone faught Spidey one time. This guy basically got off when he touched things and killed them. Anyways, a bag of grain fell on him somehow, and because he killed millions of grain seeds, he basically messed his pants and just sat there in extasy while Spidey captured him. If your main power incapacitates you when it works, you need to find a new job. Mightybec Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Agent X Posted February 20, 2003 Report Share Posted February 20, 2003 Originally posted by Mightybec Does anyone remember Styx? Him and and a guy called Stone faught Spidey one time. This guy basically got off when he touched things and killed them. Anyways, a bag of grain fell on him somehow, and because he killed millions of grain seeds, he basically messed his pants and just sat there in extasy while Spidey captured him. If your main power incapacitates you when it works, you need to find a new job. Mightybec Not to mention that it's just a crude concept. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Superskrull Posted February 20, 2003 Report Share Posted February 20, 2003 Hmm, well, sharing pain IS supposed to lessen it. So here's a few off the top of my head... Wendy, Marvin & Wonder Dog -you know who they are, but what we never knew was "Why, God, Why?" The Wonder Twins & their damn monkey - if your pet routinely outthinks you, it's time to get back on the short bus Little Mermaid -anyone remember the Global Guardians? Appeared in Superfriends, and drug into continuity despite their lameassitude, she struck me as the worst of the lot all told and I'm glad she's dead... The Red Bee- 40's mystery geek who had trained bees in his belt buckle... The Space Canine Patrol - all I'm saying is they needed to be put down, Old Yeller style. Arm-Fall-Off-Lad -acutally thought this qualified him for something other than the short bus. Mr Jigsaw- creepy wierd yet lame power to fall apart like a human jigsaw The Ringmaster & the Circus of Crime -when a 3 ft tall anthropomorphic duck kicks your collective rear ends, it's time to eat a bullet... that black guy from Amazing Spider-man who had freakin' rabbit powers, thankfully he's only been seen once... unlike Humbug -has sonic weapons based on insect noises, well, noises other than -crunch- that is... The Vamp/Animus -the first supervillain with sex change power I ever saw. I really didn't ever need to see that... Toyman & The Prankster- for your own sakes, stop fighting the most powerful alien on the planet The Turtle- a Flash villain -Superskrull weeps in horror- Starfox- WTF? Why is he still breathing? Once more, Thanos has betrayed Death... Speedball- no, Ditko, this is most assuredly NOT the next Spider-man... Captain Ultra- yeah, I know, he was supposed to be funny. He's not. Harley Quinn -I loved her in B:TAS, get her the hell out of the regular comics... Comet Man- given 'comet' powers by a retarded psycho alien, in the late 80's, well after they should have known better... I feel my bile rising and my rage building, so I'm gonna leave you with one last loser before I stop... The Generic Hero -star of the Generic Comic Book, this moron actually got superpowers from his collection of glow-in-the-dark junk... at first I thought I'd need a sharp stick, to stop me from seeing this stuff, but I'm gonna need a power drill too, 'cause the bad thoughts won't leave my skull... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Agent X Posted February 20, 2003 Report Share Posted February 20, 2003 Condorman Birdman Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Superskrull Posted February 20, 2003 Report Share Posted February 20, 2003 Originally posted by Agent X Condorman Birdman Oh no you don't. If you're using them, I'm gonna have to invoke some of my cinematic agents of soulcrushing madness; Batwoman & Robot Ninja. Trust me, they're all about pain and I have copies of each. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MisterVimes Posted February 20, 2003 Report Share Posted February 20, 2003 Monseiur Mallah - A French Gorilla who was in the closet over his love for a disembodied brain.. You can't make stuff like this up. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tenebre Posted February 20, 2003 Report Share Posted February 20, 2003 The Panda (fromenemies 2 i think) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MisterVimes Posted February 20, 2003 Report Share Posted February 20, 2003 The Captain Marvel created by M.F. Enterprises. Roger Winkle, professor of archaeology at Dartmoor College and a robot, has but to utter the word "Split" and his various body parts separate. Roger is sent to Earth to promote and preserve peace. When Roger becomes Captain Marvel by saying "Split", his various body parts dis-joint yet are under his mental control. When Captain Marvel says "Xam" the various body parts re-link. As Captain Marvel, Roger wears a uniform that includes jet boots and an amulet which energizes him. If his amulet is removed, he becomes immoblie after a short while. His other weakness is that he cannot control his other body parts if glass comes between them and his head. I am NOT making this up Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Law Dog Posted February 20, 2003 Report Share Posted February 20, 2003 Originally posted by MisterVimes The Captain Marvel created by M.F. Enterprises. Roger Winkle, professor of archaeology at Dartmoor College and a robot, has but to utter the word "Split" and his various body parts separate. Roger is sent to Earth to promote and preserve peace. When Roger becomes Captain Marvel by saying "Split", his various body parts dis-joint yet are under his mental control. When Captain Marvel says "Xam" the various body parts re-link. As Captain Marvel, Roger wears a uniform that includes jet boots and an amulet which energizes him. If his amulet is removed, he becomes immoblie after a short while. His other weakness is that he cannot control his other body parts if glass comes between them and his head. I am NOT making this up I can attest to that. I have issues 1 and 3. Some of his cheesy rogues gallery included Tinyman, Elasticman, the Bat (who became The Ray later) and Atom Jaw. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SuperPheemy Posted February 20, 2003 Report Share Posted February 20, 2003 So, you scoop his head up in a fishbowl and he becomes a desk-ornament for your favorite supervillain. Some of the silliest supers come from the Legion. Specifically the Legion of Substitue Heroes. (Note, I believe many of these heroes had been redesigned to be useful). Ferro-Lad = Could turn his body to Iron, but once he did that he was unable to move. Polar Boy = Typical cold-based powers, just looked stupid in his fur-trimmed outfit. Spectra-Lad = Could generate rainbow beams of light. Non-damaging, altogether not disablingly bright, rainbow beams of light. Black costume with white trim and a rainbow on his chest. the original Wildfire concept = He could fly, was fast, strong and could fight ok. But his most potent superpower manifested when he lifted the visor on his outfit. He was a being composed of Thermonuclear Energy, and when he lifted his visor, that energy was released in an uncontrolled blast. The damage done to the target was complete, but all that was left of Wildfire was a deflated, empty suit. Toyman was on the extreme end of stupid, until the storyline where he killed Cat Grant's boy, and about a dozen other children. Then he became very disturbing and creepy. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Evil Steve Posted February 20, 2003 Report Share Posted February 20, 2003 How about The Ultra-Killer! A steel verion of the Geiger alien, but with the Preadator's weapons. He fought (and killed) The Squad! This box of tools had their team logo emblazoned in wall height letters on the inside of their base. I'd give you more, but my friend hacked chopped up the only issue with an axe. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Superskrull Posted February 20, 2003 Report Share Posted February 20, 2003 Originally posted by SuperPheemy [bFerro-Lad = Could turn his body to Iron, but once he did that he was unable to move. [/b] No, that was Stone Boy. Ferro Lad turned to some iron derivative and was strong enough to stun Superboy. He was one of the few pure bricks in DC. Stone Boy, OTOH, was from a world where they developed the ability to hibernate through the hostile parts of the year by turning to stone rather than developing spaceships to go somewhere better. Essentially, he'd run into battle with the Subs and take a nap. Wisely, he turned down the full Legion membership he once earned to stay with his Substitute Hero buddies. After all, what would they do without their combination battering ram/doorstop? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Superskrull Posted February 20, 2003 Report Share Posted February 20, 2003 Originally posted by Evil Steve How about The Ultra-Killer! A steel verion of the Geiger alien, but with the Preadator's weapons. He fought (and killed) The Squad! This box of tools had their team logo emblazoned in wall height letters on the inside of their base. I'd give you more, but my friend hacked chopped up the only issue with an axe. No, I'd say you covered it nicely. The Squad was essentially just background flavor to give Hardcase some emotional baggage. The brick was the only one of the four to have more than 3-5 PD/ED. They're lucky they at least rated a killer robot and weren't just shot by street punks. The Ultraverse had some serious duds in it. You know there's a high lame factor to a universe if you import a throwaway dork like the Reaper from X-Force's Mutant Liberation Front group and he becomes an effective character. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Acroyear Posted February 20, 2003 Report Share Posted February 20, 2003 Anyone remember... The Heckler. I think he just teased you until you gave up. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Superskrull Posted February 20, 2003 Report Share Posted February 20, 2003 speaking of losers... Let's talk about the Protectors. they had a guy with animal powers -Ferret, a mentally disturbed brick -Amazing Man, a grim avenger of the night -Gravestone several even less memorable characters and my personal favorite, Nightmask II. IN a superhero world where you can trash a street gang with your black belt training, this walking dead man possessed the full fury of KS: Karate. There's a 4th Ed writeup of him that's actually quite generous at http://www.mactyre.net/scm/deejay/champs/characters/protectors/night_mask_ii.html though for some reason, he's actually not as good at whacking people with a quarterstaff as normals are. JUst go. Go now. Jeer and throw fruit, too. Go look at the guy killed by a villain with the codename Mr Monday. I mean this villain's name make you think he should be hunted by people like Sunday Driver & Saturday NIght Special. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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