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[Just for Fun] Champions Skits


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Here's something just to do for amusement:

 

1: Take a situation, preferably something silly.

 

2: Use your characters (or characters from the Champions Universe) to write out a comedic skit with this situation, using the quirks of the characters as they interact and deal with the situation.

 

Examples can include the Champions playing Champions, Foxbat on a date, a Superhero PSA, or Cesar Millan rehabilitating a canine supervillain. (These are just examples. I'm sure more can come from your fertile imagination.)

 

The only restriction is this: No vulgarity. Keep it Work-safe.

 

Have fun folks!

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Re: [Just for Fun] Champions Skits

 

This is something I would probably leave to the pros at Twisted Toyfare Theater. Plus, if vulgarity and poor taste aren't allowed, that pretty much KOs most of my ideas, like:

 

"Mary Kate? This is Seeker's masseuse! I think he's dead!"

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Re: [Just for Fun] Champions Skits

 

Well, not exactly in 'skit' format, but I did do some threads a long time ago discussing an idea of 'win a date with a Champion'. It was before CU: News of the World came out, and obviously the team situations changed since then...

 

but if you don't mind, I'll repost here.

 

....................................

 

'Cory, I can't believe you did that." Witchcraft was horrified.

 

Sapphire patted her friend's cheek, "Remember when you said you owed me, and would be happy to return the favor?"

 

Witchcraft sputtered, "Yes! but... I meant offering my occult expertise or maybe helping you with something academic. This is crazy!"

 

"It's for charity! Besides, you might meet a really cute guy." She winked, "C'mon Hermana, you promised."

 

"But to be auctioned off like .. like cattle!"

 

Sapphire rolled her eyes, "Don't go all mad cow on me. Everyone in the audience will be a super hero, you know, on our side? They buy lotto tickets, and the lucky winner gets the privilege of the company of a lovely lady on his arm for the eve. Just dinner, a movie, that's all. The money then goes to that 'Children of the Fallen' fund, so kids of super heroes who lose their parents get support. You turning your back on the kids?"

 

"Oh, that's dirty pool." Witchcraft crossed her arms.

Sapphire smiled, "Si, it is. Well?"

 

Witchcraft sighed, "Fine. You know this just has 'Please use this as a chance to capture me' written all over it, right?"

 

"See!" Sapphire beamed, "We won't be bored at all."

 

Witchcraft muttered, "The guys never have to do this."

 

"The heck they don't, I'm auctioning them off next week, I'm going to need your help knocking Nighthawk unconscious..."

.........................

Ironclad looked down at the reinforced floor he stood on that looked like wood, but could clearly hold even his weight. He continued to grip the large bag as he'd been told to.

 

"Why am I here again?" He asked Witchcraft.

"It's for charity, to help some children." The redhead explained, "A lady uhm, might get you for the evening. Dinner, company, etc."

The Dorvalian's metalic cheeks actually managed a blush, the effect was not unlike a good chrome polish, "Witchcraft... my people are very traditional...besides, if the female wants...intimacy, I would likely hurt her." He tapped his chest with his armored hand to make a point.

 

Now it was Witchcraft's turn to blush, "Oh.. NO, no intimacy. Earth Women are very traditional as well, just talk to them, listen to them, help them with heavy lifting i guess..."

 

"Whoo hoo, you boys are looking hot." Sapphire sauntered in, with Defender. As the azure Champion spoke, she tied a chippen dale bow tie around the neck of Defender's armor, "There, let the girls wonder."

 

Witchcraft's blush deepened, "Okay..." She muttered, "Most of us are traditional."

 

Defender protested, "Can't I just give a lot of money myself?"

 

"oh," Cory smiled, "You'll do that too. Don't be so stuffy. Now, where's Kinetik?" She looked around, "If he's late..."

 

Coincidentally, or perhaps not, the speedster streaked in at that moment from the side, "Kinetik is in the house... or in this case the Dekirk theatre. MMm, not bad for originally built in 1926, then caved in 92' only to be rebuilt again."

 

"Save the trivia, eh?" Sapphire looked them all over. "Fantastic. You guys really look bueno. Try to act like you're having a good time for the crowd, okay?"

 

Defender shrugged, "Okay, but it's not like any women have ever been interested in me, not that I've noticed anyways."

 

For no apparent reason he could surmise, both Witchcraft and Sapphire shot him a dark look.

 

"What?" He asked.

 

They sighed together, and went "Nevermind."

 

Ironclad again looked down at the bag, "Now, when should I let our companion out?"

 

"Uhm.. when the curtain opens." Sapphire smiled nervously, boy Nighthawk was going to be furious. "Let's go, Witchcraft."

 

"Right." She gulped at a similar thought, and the ladies flew out.

 

Ironclad shrugged and waited for the curtain to lift. Then he smelt something burning. A wisp of smoke wafted from the bag. "I think he's trying to break out already."

 

Defender tsked in his helmet, "Let him out. They shouldn't have done that, even if it is for a good cause."

 

It turned out to be unnecessary, because there was a rip, and Nighthawk tumbled free cursing, "I'm going to kill them. I'm going to hook it up so they get spam forever... I'll..." Then he realized where they were, "Quick, we have to get out of here!"

 

"Why?" Kinetik chuckled, "I know I'm not officially a member, but it's for a good cause, and it's a way to meet ladies so I'm doing it. Why can't you?"

 

"You don't understand..." The cowled hero protested, but the curtains opened wide to reveal to them an audience of costumed figures cheering, some whooting and whistling.

 

Defender's armor gave a soft whir as he adjusted it's sensory array, "Hey! There are guys out there as well. Not many, but a few..."

 

"THAT's what I was trying to tell you." Nighthawk grumbled.

 

"Oh #$#$." Kinetik exclaimed.

 

Defender rubbed at the temples of his helmet, "The MC-8 don't have to put up with this."

 

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Re: [Just for Fun] Champions Skits

 

Another repeat, when I was commenting on how Master Villains must be bored to do what they do some days. This was back when the 5th CU was new and the latest version of the Champions were the new kids on the block

.................

 

MASTER VILLAIN: Ah, lackey, bring my docket. I'm sure I'm forgetting something today, something enjoyable and EEEVIL.

 

LACKEY: Ah, let's see.... *flipping through pages* 1. Wake up, go to bathroom, shower.... dry...put on 'mantle of majesty power armor' and 'flowing in your face cape'?

 

MASTER VILLAIN: OBVIOUSLY... what else?

 

LACKEY: Watch Jerry Springer reruns to bolster contempt for humanity?

 

MASTER VILLAIN: *A smile* Yes, done. In fact, make a note for me. There's a trailer home park in Nebraska I intend to vaporize. While Evil, I do value good taste.

 

LACKEY: *Scribbles it down* Oh, Master, I've found it!

 

MASTER VILLAIN: Found what? Nebraska? It's not that damn hard to find... see that's the problem with most people these days, basic geography is beyond even the ...

 

LACKEY: Oh no master, I mean, the thing on your agenda you didn't do yet for today. *Realizing 'no' is not what he needs to be saying, quickly moves on* This is your yearly 'find a group of rookie heroes to torment day'

 

MASTER VILLAIN: *Powers down his incinerator in surprise* REALLY? Already?? Great! Who do we have?

 

LACKEY: Our best and newest option seems to be "The Champions"

 

MASTER VILLAIN: Champions of what?

 

LACKEY: *Double checks* Just the Champions, Master.

 

MASTER VILLAIN: Well THAT'S vague. Okay, where are they based, and what's the membership?

 

LACKEY: Millennium City. Now, the leader is Defender...

 

MV: Hold it. His name is Defender?

 

LACKEY: Yes Master, Powered Armored type.

 

MV: He took the name AFTER Detroit got nuked? That's kind of guarding the hen house after the fox has left, isn't it?

 

LACKEY: *nods, and goes on* There's Ironclad, an alien brick who...

 

MV: Ah yes, Prince of his planet no doubt.

 

LACKEY: Says here he's just a gladiator.

 

MV: Are you SURE? I mean, is he wreathed in flames or something?

 

LACKEY: Afraid not master.

 

MV: Could have sworn..oh well, carry on.

 

LACKEY: Then there's Nighthawk, a dark avenger who uses his many skills and gadgets in conjunction with martial arts to carry on his war for justice...

 

MV: ZZzzzzzzzzzzzz

 

L: Master? *cough* MASTER.

 

MV: *mmf wakes up* Sorry, sorry.. continue.

 

L: Next is Sapphire, no doubt you've heard of her. Not only a mutant, but a super star!

 

MV: I'm not big on music past Wagner. Is she dating Ben Affleck?

 

L: Ah, not to my knowledge master. She is beautiful, perhaps you should make her your bride of the week?

 

MV: mmm ...I'll consider it. Go to those super hero erotica sites you always click on instead of doing your job, and bring me some pics. I'll glance over them.

 

L: *Blush* Right. Lastly is Witchcraft.. raised by an evil organization, she now seeks to redeem herself but psychological analysis shows she maybe someone underconfident.

 

MV: This Witchfire seems familiar...*musing* She wear highboots?

 

LACKEY: Why, no master. And, ah, it's Witchcraft.

 

MV: It is? Hurumph. Witchfire has more panache. Oh, get some pics on her as well.

 

LACKEY: ALready got them master I... *Notes the Master Villain's look at him* Just anticipating your whim, sire.

 

MV: Good one. *He nods* Very well, I shall puruse over Witchfire's picture later. These people DO seem to have some hubris.

 

LACKEY: And the best selling comic in the world.

 

MV: WHAT? So soon? Have I even gotten a cameo yet?

 

LACKEY: No sire... and sire? It's still Witchcraft.

 

MV: That tears it! Put them on the list! Let's start slow. Put the severed engine of the team vehicle on Defender's pillow.

 

LACKEY: At once master. *bows and goes*

 

MASTER VILLAIN: EXXXCEELLENT... *steeples fingers* Welcome to the big times 'champions'.

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Re: [Just for Fun] Champions Skits

 

Headquarters of The United Superheroes of America, Washington, D.C., 1941

 

Lady Liberty: What are you wearing?

 

Maiden America: My new costume. What do you think?

 

The statuesque redhead looks it over. It's a long sleeve low cut leotard in red, white and blue, with matching boots, gloves, and mask.

 

Lady Liberty: It's a little . . . provocative.

 

Maiden America: You think so? I think it's very practical.

 

Lady Liberty: In what possible way?

 

Maiden America: Full freedom of movement.

 

Lady Liberty: There is that, but won't you be cold?

 

Maiden America: Didn't you read my character sheet . . . I mean membership profile. I'm immune to temperature extremes.

 

Lady Liberty: You'd have to be in that outfit. What not wear the old costume? I loved it.

 

Maiden America: What? That old thing. No one wear's gowns anymore.

 

The powerfully built brunette looks over at her friend, who is in fact in a gown, and looking somewhat dejectedly at her gold sandals.

 

Lady Liberty: You think so.

 

Maiden America: Oh, LL, I'm sorry. I didn't mean anything. But I'm 45 years old with the body of a 25 year old. If you've got it, flaunt it.

 

Lady Liberty: Easy for you to say. Everyone has thought you were sexy since the Great War. Why would anyone look at me?

 

Maiden America: You're a gorgeous six foot tall redhead dressed like the statue of liberty.

 

Lady Liberty: Well, there is that.

 

The Alarm goes off, and the two heroines rush off to adventure.

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