I have a dream. (and MAN was it wierd!)

[Pariah]

I had a dream that Comcast and/or the Hallmark Channel installed an app on my phone that automatically keeps track of which Hallmark Channel Christmas movies I've watched.

 

Based on our viewership over the weekend, I have advanced from Level I (Novice) to Level II (Initiate).

 

Please help me, someone.

[Bazza]

46 minutes ago, Pariah said:

I had a dream that Comcast and/or the Hallmark Channel installed an app on my phone that automatically keeps track of which Hallmark Channel Christmas movies I've watched.

 

Based on our viewership over the weekend, I have advanced from Level I (Novice) to Level II (Initiate).

 

Please help me, someone.

 

Thanks for the tip #AppIdea

[Cancer]

On November 6, 2017 at 4:05 AM, Pariah said:

I had a dream that Comcast and/or the Hallmark Channel installed an app on my phone that automatically keeps track of which Hallmark Channel Christmas movies I've watched.

 

Based on our viewership over the weekend, I have advanced from Level I (Novice) to Level II (Initiate).

 

Please help me, someone.

 

We cannot.  That's part of what happens when you die and go to Hell.  Your best hope is to apply for reincarnation and maybe they'll send you back as a dungbeetle.  Rough, but it's the only known way to uninstall that app.

[Badger]

On ‎11‎/‎6‎/‎2017 at 7:05 AM, Pariah said:

I had a dream that Comcast and/or the Hallmark Channel installed an app on my phone that automatically keeps track of which Hallmark Channel Christmas movies I've watched.

 

Based on our viewership over the weekend, I have advanced from Level I (Novice) to Level II (Initiate).

 

Please help me, someone.

 

Isnt watching Hallmark Christmas movies a nightmare to begin with?

 

 

 

[Pariah]

Lady P watches football and Farscape. I have no legitimate excuse to refuse.

[Badger]

Understood.  May your death be swift.

[Old Man]

The food on the space station was terrible, as was to be expected on any spacecraft.  But my squad was hungry, and could hardly contain their excitement at getting to eat lunch in space for the first time.  It took some effort to herd them through the cafeteria lines and get them seated with their trays, but once there they made short work of their substandard cafeteria food that was transformed into a gourmet meal purely by the novelty of the location.

 

Having bought myself a few minutes of peace while they were distracted by eating, I quickly fixed a tray for myself and went to eat standing up, in front of the huge observation window.  The sun glinted sharply off the distant Mekong River, the focus of our bombardments; as I watched, a flight of B-52s dropped their loads on a target near the river.  The silent twinkling of the bombs as they detonated, eradicating everything in their path, was eerily beautiful.  I tried to make out exactly what was being bombed--Hanoi? Haiphong?--but I couldn't make it out because the geography looked exactly like Georgia and Florida.

 

After lunch the station guide took the squad on a tour of the station.  Aside from making sure they didn't talk too much or wander off, I paid little attention; I'd seen it all before, dozens or hundreds of times, since the war began so long ago.  I made quiet small talk with some of the techs I ran into.  One of them was having trouble getting the plastic off of his spam musubi, and I found that hilarious, that we could launch bombers from a space station to vaporize a country, but we couldn't solve plastic wrap on a musubi.

 

Eventually the tour ended, and I took my squad and got them to sit on the floor near the hangar door, waiting for the B-52 to take us home.  They were a little tired, but in good spirits.  I looked out the observation window again.  I swear it still looked like Georgia.  Another bombing run was underway.  I thought about pointing it out to the squad, but decided against it.  After all, they were only eight years old; the war would be waiting for them when they were grown.

 

[Ragitsu]

My strange dream was rather mundane as far as imagery goes, but it was rather bizarre because the underlying subject matter is one I have rarely given thought to.

 

Essentially, I was hanging out with Jethro Gibbs (of the television show NCIS) as he was recovering from an injury severe to saddle him with a single crutch. Given that i've caught maybe a handful of episodes of NCIS over the past decade, the random unconscious interlude into the life of one of Mark Harmon's characters took me by surprise.

[Badger]

Hey, I stole a company truck with the help of Uncle Jesse from the Dukes of Hazzard snd Mr. T (or was it rapper Ice Cube, I forget at the moment) one time, so random famous people are going to beat.   (it had been a hard day at work, ok)

 

Then, again, I believe I already mentioned  I was leading a resistance movement with  Cpt. Pike, and Ricky Ricardo from I Love Lucy, too

 

 

 

 

[Cancer]

This may be my once-a-decade dream that I remember, sort of.

 

A friend of mine (my co-manager of Cows of the World, Unite!) had found himself on the wrong side of the law for political reasons.  For reasons left in dreamland, I was implicated as an accomplice in this political crime.  In the scheme of things, it was my task now to aid in his escape, as his role in overcoming the political enemy was more important than mine ... I really was no more than peripheral in that struggle, but the logical conclusion that they would come for me also was a certainty.

 

So I put on my leather jacket and had two revolvers as I set up a defense point out at my parents' rural residence, with barn and a few sheds.  The animals had been rounded up and moved to safe location where they would not be absconded with by the police.  The people also were gone.

 

There was a largely fast-forwarded gunfight in which neither I nor the police scored any hits; indeed, I never actually saw any of the people attacking my position.  The gunfight did, however, expend all my ammunition.  Eventually they realized that my defense now consisted of nothing but bluff, and they maneuvered through my fields of fire and around my deathtraps.  I became aware that there were a number of them behind me, and they opened fire.  The bullets struck, but for some unexplained reason they did not penetrate; it was like being struck by a fusillade of golf balls.  After launching their collective salvo the police returned to cover.  I was knocked down but not killed, though it stung a lot.

 

That last was improbable enough even in the dream that I woke up.

[Pariah]

Why on Earth an I dreaming about radioactive decay of titanium?

[Old Man]

For the same reason I dream about a rain that never ends, and I try to redirect the runoff in futility knowing that it's all going to be submerged anyway?

[tkdguy]

I had promised to sing at my friend's show because I wanted to impress her. I was sitting in the audience waiting to be introduced when I realized I hadn't rehearsed. I didn't even know the words, since it was an opera aria, and I don't speak Italian. 

 

Then a fire alarm went off. I went to investigate along with a few of the men in the audience. We found some damage in a bathroom and decided a specialist was needed. I was angry with my sister because she didn't know how to contact the specialist, but President Obama came along to see how he could help.

[Badger]

6 hours ago, Old Man said:

For the same reason I dream about a rain that never ends, and I try to redirect the runoff in futility knowing that it's all going to be submerged anyway?

 

And then I wake up having to pee.

[tkdguy]

The Elves have left for the Undying Lands, and the realm of Lindon is empty - except for one man. He grew up with the Elves, but he was human, so he could not join them on their journey. He searched for his friends thoughout the land and found no one. He did not want to leave Lindon, for it was still his home. But he was still young, and the coming years would be long and lonely....

[Matt the Bruins]

Last night I was in what was theoretically the Alien setting, though it really looked like a series of unlit factory spaces. Dana Scully and I were trying to survive with very limited ammo that appeared to be some sort of glowy liquid in little containers like those paint-by-numbers sets have. And Brad Dourif was there among the people we were trying to get out alive, though not as his character from Alien 4. Woke up before we got killed/managed to escape.

[tkdguy]

Third straight night of dreaming strange stuff:

 

Mom kept complainng about a sore throat, and she was arguing with sister #2 about what type of boat was in a commercial/video. Sister #1 was not feeling well, so she lay on her bed. Mom had packed supplies for Sister #1 in case of emergency: These included a sandwich and a dose of medical marijuana. We also had scented candles on the dresser -- marijuana-scented candles. The cats liked the smell and kept jumping up on the dresser for a sniff. I had to chase them off repeatedly.

[Old Man]

I’d tell you to lay off the marijuana candles before bed, but weird dreams are better than insomnia. 

[Matt the Bruins]

Plus, munchies while you're asleep don't add calories.

[Badger]

13 hours ago, Old Man said:

I’d tell you to lay off the marijuana candles before bed, but weird dreams are better than insomnia. 

 

Working 2nd shift, I've come to the weird habit of eating breakfast in the morning before I go to bed.  I can no longer sleep on an empty stomach.

[Old Man]

A pretty average afternoon of airsoft in the woods gradually got more intense as it dawned on me that we were undercover commandos on a secret mission, and that our weapons were real. My teammates were British, but in spite of that they were good people, and they were good fighters too.  We started out making good progress against the other team, but their weapons became real too, and there were just too many of them.  By the time we gave up on our objective and tried to fall back, we were being pursued by actual Nazis.

 

We cut dozens of them down.  We'd set a hasty ambush, kill a bunch of them, take their weapons, try to escape, get found, and set another ambush.  But we just couldn't shake them.  The original objective was forgotten, though on the bright side, we were distracting an entire brigade of Nazis--perhaps the main invasion force was having better success.  Meanwhile, we were losing the attrition battle.  I was losing guys, two or three at a time, and despite the kill count, we weren't making a dent in their numbers.

 

I lost track of my last teammates as we fell back into a small group of buildings on the outskirts of town.  I was down to one rifle and magazine, so I decided to try and hide.  I found an impossibly small air vent leading into the drop ceiling, and forced myself into it just as the Nazis entered the building.  I peered down through some kind of grate, feeling hopelessly exposed as I heard them search the building.  The door opened and a tall, bald SS officer walked in.  I froze, watching, as he slowly looked around the room.  Finally he happened to look up, and our eyes met.

 

I immediately shot him in the head.  He didn't react.  I switched to full auto and shot him in the head a few more times, wasting precious ammunition, but he still didn't react.  He was driven by prophecy, and under its influence mortal weapons could never stop him.  Instead he closed the door, produced a display board with a lot of German on it, and began talking to me.  I knew virtually no German, but from the display board, it became clear that he'd figured out I was a werewolf, and was trying to convince me to join the Wehrmacht.  That wasn't going to happen, but I gave him credit for trying.

 

I was trying to figure out how to resolve this standoff when more Nazis kicked the door in and the shooting started again.

[Badger]

The only thing I remember from my dream last night was Fred Mertz (from I Love Lucy) was surfing.  

[csyphrett]

Commissioner Gordon was helping to fight an alien invasion by decoding messages on food in a supermarket. I woke up as he was grilling cheese to read it.

CES

[tkdguy]

Two young men accepted a favor from a stranger, but they hid when he came to their house to be repaid. He knew where they were anyway. He may have been the Devil.

 

It was close to closing time at the museum. Two of the statues in a collection came to life. They started walking and talking, but I made them go back to the shelf because they weren't supposed to do that. I felt a little sorry for them, though.

 

Dracula was coming after me. From my bedroom window, I could see him hiding on the roof of the building next door, waiting until nightfall. My mother attached two silver crosses at the foot of my bed to help ward him off.

[Badger]

My Friday night/Saturday morning dream consisted of me acquiring a Muramasa sword and cutting down the villains attacking town.  No matter how big they were (and some were giants) I could cut through them like butter.

 

 

Note: I was also wearing an embarrassing pink kimono while doing all this, but I don't want to talk about it.  

 

2nd Note: This attack occurred during a YMCA championship basketball game for some reason.