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Answers & Questions


Klytus

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22 hours ago, Michael Hopcroft said:

A: Because all the Jellicle Cats are coming out tonight, and I'm fresh out of old boots.

 

Q: Why are you stringing the garden hose up to your bedroom window?

 

A: More cheap, schmaltzy sentiment than you can shake a candy cane at.

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1 hour ago, Cancer said:

A: More cheap, schmaltzy sentiment than you can shake a candy cane at.

 

Q: I've never seen a Hallmark Channel Christmas movie.* Can you describe one for me?

 

*Not even remotely true, sadly.

 

A: In this case, "Climbing into bed" isn't a figure of speech.

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7 minutes ago, Michael Hopcroft said:

A: He thinks he is invisible. He is mistaken.

 

Q:  I am, of course, familiar with the concept of the ugly Christmas sweater, but what makes your Uncle Phil think wearing that in public is acceptable?

 

A: It's the most horrible time of the year!

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On 12/25/2019 at 7:28 AM, Michael Hopcroft said:

A: Given the choice between the two of you, I'd take the seasick crocodile.

 

Q: I'm Donald Trump, and I'd like to offer you the position of White House Chief of Staff. Take it, or I'll feed you this seasick crocodile.

 

A: I need a freakin' drink.

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39 minutes ago, Cancer said:

A: Now legal in eleven states!

 

Q: Do you realize what you propose is so immoral it's banned in thirty nine states?

 

A: That's why all quarks are held in close confinement!

 

Lucius Alexander

 

As far as I know, my palindromedary is legal in all states

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49 minutes ago, Lucius said:

A: That's why all quarks are held in close confinement!

 

Q: Are you really claiming that the 2008 housing bubble, the Deepwater Horizon spill, and the Seahawks' inexplicable decision to throw the ball at the goal line are all due to runaway quarks?

 

A: Pluto: our last, best hope for peace.

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On 12/29/2019 at 3:52 PM, Michael Hopcroft said:

Q: Disney World has declared independence? How can we prevent the carnage?

 

A: He thinks he is a superhero. He is mistaken.

 

Q: Can you believe that Clark Kent is attempting to rescue everyone on that boat?

 

A: Nature is taking a holiday.

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20 hours ago, Asperion said:

A: Nature is taking a holiday.

 

Q: What do you mean there's no prestigious British science weekly coming this Friday?!?

 

A: It's the only paper in England with chromosomal gene maps instead of Page 3 girls!

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On January 2, 2020 at 12:10 PM, tkdguy said:

A: He actually could accomplish something in his life if he weren't too busy posing as a poseur.

 

Q: Did you hear about the British adult film producer who stood for Parliament?

 

A: Violet-veined virtual Virginian vulgar veterinary Volvox ventures.

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On 1/4/2020 at 9:52 AM, Michael Hopcroft said:

Q: Very good! Can you say "Titus the tailor told ten tall tales to Titania the titmouse?"

 

A: She plays Medea later this week.

 

Q: Does she believe that this role will strike be her rise to fame?

 

A: That was Frankenstein with Medusa.

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15 hours ago, Michael Hopcroft said:

A: Don't worry. Don't lose your head. I never meant to hurt anyone!

 

Q: Name three things a guillotine operator says that nobody takes seriously.

 

A: When I want your opinion, I'll give it to you.

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