Pariah Posted March 27, 2018 Report Share Posted March 27, 2018 4 hours ago, Cancer said: A: You don't have to be Dr. Evil to be surrounded by frickin' idiots, you know. Q: So, I understand that you're a college professor. What's that like? A: In his case, PhD stands for "Piled Higher and Deeper". Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lucius Posted March 27, 2018 Report Share Posted March 27, 2018 16 minutes ago, Pariah said: A: In his case, PhD stands for "Piled Higher and Deeper". Q. Why did they give an honorary doctorate to Dan Brown of all people? A. Maybe both. Lucius Alexander The palindromedary speculates on the possibility of a dishonorary doctorate. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted March 27, 2018 Report Share Posted March 27, 2018 9 hours ago, Lucius said: A. Maybe both. Q: If I accelerate Dan Brown to relativistic speeds, will he behave as a wave or as a particle? A: Oranges as big as softballs! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cancer Posted March 27, 2018 Report Share Posted March 27, 2018 1 hour ago, Pariah said: A: Oranges as big as softballs! Q: What's as big a deal as testicles the size of kumquats? A: Yes, but they aren't orange. Or if they are, you need to get that looked into. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted March 28, 2018 Report Share Posted March 28, 2018 19 hours ago, Cancer said: A: Yes, but they aren't orange. Or if they are, you need to get that looked into. Q: I just replaced my hands with metal appendages that let me stick to walls! Aren;t they cool? A: She doesn't know if she's really Evil or just Evil-Curious. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted March 28, 2018 Report Share Posted March 28, 2018 8 minutes ago, Michael Hopcroft said: A: She doesn't know if she's really Evil or just Evil-Curious. Q: Why is Mary Marvel's dress charcoal grey? A: I wouldn't buy that for a dollar, but I'd certainly rent it. Michael Hopcroft 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted March 29, 2018 Report Share Posted March 29, 2018 On 3/28/2018 at 9:28 AM, Pariah said: A: I wouldn't buy that for a dollar, but I'd certainly rent it. Q: Are you interested in a Blu-Ray of Justice League? A: As bondage fantasies go, this one needs some work. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Asperion Posted April 3, 2018 Report Share Posted April 3, 2018 On 3/29/2018 at 10:41 AM, Michael Hopcroft said: Q: Are you interested in a Blu-Ray of Justice League? A: As bondage fantasies go, this one needs some work. Q: Are you really going to model your relationship off of the Fifty Shades series? A: That sleep serium gave him more energy than any energy potion. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cancer Posted April 3, 2018 Report Share Posted April 3, 2018 3 hours ago, Asperion said: A: That sleep serium gave him more energy than any energy potion. Q: How did the experiment of using antimatter in some of your gengineered pharmaceuticals go? A: Not in the way you might think. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted April 3, 2018 Report Share Posted April 3, 2018 11 hours ago, Cancer said: A: Not in the way you might think. Q: Can mastering necromancy help me to get more dates? A: We are dissatisfied with the new model, and have come to trade it in for the old one. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cancer Posted April 3, 2018 Report Share Posted April 3, 2018 16 minutes ago, Pariah said: A: We are dissatisfied with the new model, and have come to trade it in for the old one. Q: What do you mean you want us to take back Kylo Ren and give you Darth Vader back? A: Yes, I can change your grade if you want, but it would be a change from "F" to "Put him out of his misery on sight." Pariah 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted April 4, 2018 Report Share Posted April 4, 2018 7 hours ago, Cancer said: A: Yes, I can change your grade if you want, but it would be a change from "F" to "Put him out of his misery on sight." Q: Sarge, sorry about the flubbed exam, but can I still get into OCS? A: Never eat the rich. They have no taste. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cancer Posted April 6, 2018 Report Share Posted April 6, 2018 On April 3, 2018 at 5:08 PM, Michael Hopcroft said: A: Never eat the rich. They have no taste. Q: Would you recommend the Long Pork Rockefeller? A: Not only did they make the five mistakes I was afraid they'd make, they added six more I had not anticipated. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted April 6, 2018 Report Share Posted April 6, 2018 9 hours ago, Cancer said: A: Not only did they make the five mistakes I was afraid they'd make, they added six more I had not anticipated. Q: The enemy are really falling into our traps, aren't they, General Eisenhower? A: You have no idea how little I wanted to play this game. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted April 6, 2018 Report Share Posted April 6, 2018 1 hour ago, Michael Hopcroft said: A: You have no idea how little I wanted to play this game. Q: 'Global Thermonuclear War', huh? Is that fun? A: Only if you kick the harlot on the way out. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted April 6, 2018 Report Share Posted April 6, 2018 5 hours ago, Pariah said: A: Only if you kick the harlot on the way out. Q: Did God really tell you to go spy on Jericho? A: That and eight bucks will get you a large pepperoni pizza, but you'll have to bake it yourself. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
clnicholsusa Posted April 7, 2018 Report Share Posted April 7, 2018 Q: Donald Trump signed my cast, what do you think it's worth? A: No, but I've got an option on a beach-side condo in Belarus. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cancer Posted April 7, 2018 Report Share Posted April 7, 2018 3 hours ago, clnicholsusa said: A: No, but I've got an option on a beach-side condo in Belarus. Q: You still thinking about that ski lodge timeshare down on South Padre Island? A: The working title is Last Stand on Zanzibarbarossa. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lucius Posted April 7, 2018 Report Share Posted April 7, 2018 10 hours ago, Cancer said: Q: You still thinking about that ski lodge timeshare down on South Padre Island? A: The working title is Last Stand on Zanzibarbarossa. Q: I thought your working title was "Professor?" A: Far away from us Lucius Alexander The palindromedary professes to have no working title Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted April 7, 2018 Report Share Posted April 7, 2018 21 minutes ago, Lucius said: A: Far away from us Q: Where should God bless and keep Vladimir Putin? A: The dog, the cat, and the parrot all want to know where you keep your guns. Pariah 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted April 8, 2018 Report Share Posted April 8, 2018 9 hours ago, Michael Hopcroft said: A: The dog, the cat, and the parrot all want to know where you keep your guns. Q: What makes you think that my ranch is about to become the scene of a real-world reenactment of Animal Farm? A: Seat belts for three-toed tree sloths. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cancer Posted April 8, 2018 Report Share Posted April 8, 2018 5 hours ago, Pariah said: A: Seat belts for three-toed tree sloths. Q: What are them things in that thar tree? Last time there were that many ropes hangin' from branches, it was the biggest necktie party the county ever saw! A: With enough money, taste is optional. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted April 8, 2018 Report Share Posted April 8, 2018 7 hours ago, Cancer said: A: With enough money, taste is optional. Q: Why are you charging $50 for a small pizza with no toppings and cauliflower-based crust? A: Where I'm going, I don't need no sprinkler system! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Asperion Posted April 9, 2018 Report Share Posted April 9, 2018 On 4/8/2018 at 9:22 AM, Michael Hopcroft said: Q: Why are you charging $50 for a small pizza with no toppings and cauliflower-based crust? A: Where I'm going, I don't need no sprinkler system! Q: Why are you making your home on the Marianas Trench? A: This machine gets paid in souls. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted April 10, 2018 Report Share Posted April 10, 2018 22 hours ago, Asperion said: A: This machine gets paid in souls. Q: Mechanon is being m,ore devilish than usual, right Witchcraft? A: Having all the sitcoms on every TV station read the same prepared statement at exactly the same time is just eerie. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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