Asperion Posted May 1, 2018 Report Share Posted May 1, 2018 12 hours ago, Michael Hopcroft said: Q: Who ate my copy iof the Journal of Zoological Engineering? A: I woke up because I'm alive! Q: What are you doing walking around? I thought that you were in a medical coma. A: That compactor made a great rocket. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lucius Posted May 1, 2018 Report Share Posted May 1, 2018 6 minutes ago, Asperion said: A: That compactor made a great rocket. Q: But doesn't a compactor only make small dense cubes of whatever is put into it? A: It's a Pagan spring festival, my other choices were get drunk or get laid. Lucius Alexander The palindromedary says there really are other options.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
clnicholsusa Posted May 1, 2018 Report Share Posted May 1, 2018 2 hours ago, Lucius said: Q: But doesn't a compactor only make small dense cubes of whatever is put into it? A: It's a Pagan spring festival, my other choices were get drunk or get laid. Lucius Alexander The palindromedary says there really are other options.... Q: Are you sure that's what that pole is for? A: I think your tulip just tasered my cat. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted May 1, 2018 Report Share Posted May 1, 2018 3 hours ago, clnicholsusa said: A: I think your tulip just tasered my cat. Q: I've successfully spliced DNA from an electric eel into a flower! Cool, huh? A: No one can tell the difference. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted May 2, 2018 Report Share Posted May 2, 2018 14 hours ago, Pariah said: A: No one can tell the difference. Q: Is it Whizzo butter, or is it a dead crab? A: I LIKE SHAPES! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
clnicholsusa Posted May 2, 2018 Report Share Posted May 2, 2018 4 hours ago, Michael Hopcroft said: Q: Is it Whizzo butter, or is it a dead crab? A: I LIKE SHAPES! Q: If that was a re-write just what WAS the battle cry before they decided to use the fluffy-tailed rodents? A: No, the technical jargon was just another form of obfuscation. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted May 2, 2018 Report Share Posted May 2, 2018 9 hours ago, clnicholsusa said: A: No, the technical jargon was just another form of obfuscation. Q: Why did Bill Cosby's court deposition read like stereo instructions? A; Anyone who can put this bed together deserves a good night's sleep. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted May 2, 2018 Report Share Posted May 2, 2018 3 hours ago, Michael Hopcroft said: A: Anyone who can put this bed together deserves a good night's sleep. Q: Are the people at IKEA trying to give me terminal insomnia? A: It won't hurt for long. That's the good news. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted May 3, 2018 Report Share Posted May 3, 2018 22 hours ago, Pariah said: A: It won't hurt for long. That's the good news. Q: What do you mean I'm going to be fed to the utahraptors? A: You're the size of a turkey, not a lion. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
clnicholsusa Posted May 4, 2018 Report Share Posted May 4, 2018 12 hours ago, Michael Hopcroft said: Q: What do you mean I'm going to be fed to the utahraptors? A: You're the size of a turkey, not a lion. Q: How come you get a big, tan wig and I have to wear these paper wings? A: I'll pass on the invitation, Thanksgiving dinner always makes me nervous. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted May 4, 2018 Report Share Posted May 4, 2018 11 hours ago, clnicholsusa said: A: I'll pass on the invitation, Thanksgiving dinner always makes me nervous. Q: How would you like an all-expenses-paid trip to Turkey? A: You're drunk, you're drunk, you silly old fool! Cancer 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted May 7, 2018 Report Share Posted May 7, 2018 Bump. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted May 8, 2018 Report Share Posted May 8, 2018 On 5/4/2018 at 10:01 AM, Michael Hopcroft said: A: You're drunk, you're drunk, you silly old fool! Q: Re-elect Trump in 2020! Best President evar!!!1! A: That's not my car! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Asperion Posted May 9, 2018 Report Share Posted May 9, 2018 5 hours ago, Pariah said: Q: Re-elect Trump in 2020! Best President evar!!!1! A: That's not my car! Q: I told you to get my car. Did you need to bring the Governor's car? A: I am now ready for my Sith trials. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lucius Posted May 9, 2018 Report Share Posted May 9, 2018 50 minutes ago, Asperion said: A: I am now ready for my Sith trials. Q; You stand accused - how do you plead? A: Only the Gods know, or perhaps They do not know. Lucius Alexander Unquestionably a palindromedary tagline Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
clnicholsusa Posted May 9, 2018 Report Share Posted May 9, 2018 3 hours ago, Lucius said: Q; You stand accused - how do you plead? A: Only the Gods know, or perhaps They do not know. Lucius Alexander Unquestionably a palindromedary tagline Q: How is it possible to consider him a viable candidate yet retain enough mental function to mark the ballot correctly? A: I was just following the party line, long live the party! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted May 9, 2018 Report Share Posted May 9, 2018 15 hours ago, clnicholsusa said: A: I was just following the party line, long live the party! Q: Any last words, Comrade? A: If I'd known that, I would've brought the wife and kids! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted May 9, 2018 Report Share Posted May 9, 2018 6 hours ago, Pariah said: A: If I'd known that, I would've brought the wife and kids! Q: Didn't you tell me this movie was rated NC-17? It's not! It's PG-13! A: There are already enough lightsabers in the Galaxy, We don't need to mass-produce them. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cancer Posted May 15, 2018 Report Share Posted May 15, 2018 On May 9, 2018 at 3:54 PM, Michael Hopcroft said: A: There are already enough lightsabers in the Galaxy, We don't need to mass-produce them. Q: We've got the tech to make lasers with energetic three-foot beams now! Think we can market them to suburbanites as universal yard trimmers and make a fortune? A: Now that you're back from vacation, you have twenty-three missed meetings to make up! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted May 15, 2018 Report Share Posted May 15, 2018 1 hour ago, Cancer said: A: Now that you're back from vacation, you have twenty-three missed meetings to make up! Q: what makes you think the Pointy-Haired Man can't read an Outlook calendar? A: We forgot to actually film the episode, but the ads are better anyway. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
clnicholsusa Posted May 15, 2018 Report Share Posted May 15, 2018 1 hour ago, Michael Hopcroft said: Q: what makes you think the Pointy-Haired Man can't read an Outlook calendar? A: We forgot to actually film the episode, but the ads are better anyway. Q: I can take the fact that this weeks plot is just going to the grocery store, but why is Sheldon squeezing the toilet paper? A: Because, apparently, a multilevel cross-lagged structural equation analysis of universal low-energy behavior in three-body systems proves that the Big Bang was Jehovah passing gas. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted May 15, 2018 Report Share Posted May 15, 2018 7 hours ago, clnicholsusa said: A: Because, apparently, a multilevel cross-lagged structural equation analysis of universal low-energy behavior in three-body systems proves that the Big Bang was Jehovah passing gas. Q: Man, this stinks! A: Schrödinger's pigeon. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lucius Posted May 15, 2018 Report Share Posted May 15, 2018 1 hour ago, Pariah said: Q: Man, this stinks! Q: How is that a question? 1 hour ago, Pariah said: A: Schrödinger's pigeon. Q: How is that an answer? A: Schrodinger's litterbox Lucius Alexander How is this a palindromedary tagline? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted May 15, 2018 Report Share Posted May 15, 2018 22 minutes ago, Lucius said: A: Schrodinger's litterbox Q: I can't tell for certain whether or not that is cat feces. Where did you find it? A: Clearly I can not choose the wine in front of you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted May 15, 2018 Report Share Posted May 15, 2018 1 minute ago, Pariah said: A: Clearly I can not choose the wine in front of you. Q: Honey, don't you trust the waiter? A: I think you went a little overboard with your dam-building, Mr. Secretary. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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