clnicholsusa Posted November 11, 2018 Report Share Posted November 11, 2018 2 hours ago, Michael Hopcroft said: Q: You're saying a PC is going to put me in handcuffs and take me down to the station for questioning? A: I'll plead Artistic Self-Defense. Q: What did Mr. Pollack say when you asked him why his ex-wife was splattered with paint? A: She knew the job was dangerous when she took it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Asperion Posted November 13, 2018 Report Share Posted November 13, 2018 On 11/11/2018 at 12:36 PM, clnicholsusa said: Q: What did Mr. Pollack say when you asked him why his ex-wife was splattered with paint? A: She knew the job was dangerous when she took it. Q: What was she thinking taking the assignment to be the psychiatrist for Annihilius? A: That definitely was not what we expected. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted November 13, 2018 Report Share Posted November 13, 2018 1 hour ago, Asperion said: A: That definitely was not what we expected. Q: What do you mean we've been conquered by small pastel-colored horses with magic powers? A: Looking at the election makes me long for Celestia, Luna, Cadence, and Twilight Sparkle to cross their dimension and take over from us stupid apes. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cancer Posted November 16, 2018 Report Share Posted November 16, 2018 On November 12, 2018 at 9:05 PM, Michael Hopcroft said: A: Looking at the election makes me long for Celestia, Luna, Cadence, and Twilight Sparkle to cross their dimension and take over from us stupid apes. Q: How can you tell that you watch too much TV? A: Just so you know ... all the scab labor in Jersey won't help much against an asteroid strike. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted November 17, 2018 Report Share Posted November 17, 2018 On 11/15/2018 at 7:54 PM, Cancer said: A: Just so you know ... all the scab labor in Jersey won't help much against an asteroid strike. Q: You're saying we should just give the Astronautic Worker's Union Local 43 all the money they want on the new contract? Can't we just use out connedtions to make it go away? A: Gotta be a Superman to survive! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted November 19, 2018 Report Share Posted November 19, 2018 On 11/17/2018 at 12:29 AM, Michael Hopcroft said: A: Gotta be a Superman to survive! Q: Is DC really pulling a publicity stunt that involves killing off 99.3% of heir existing characters? A: Like sunburn from a supernova. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted November 20, 2018 Report Share Posted November 20, 2018 7 hours ago, Pariah said: A: Like sunburn from a supernova. Q: How's your frostbite after your exposure to Absolute Zero? A: No extra charge for Hot and Cold running death! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cancer Posted November 20, 2018 Report Share Posted November 20, 2018 2 minutes ago, Michael Hopcroft said: A: No extra charge for Hot and Cold running death! Q: I find that the experience of death warmed over leaves something to be desired. Are there more palatable alternatives? A: That sounds like something off a poorly translated Chinese restaurant menu. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted November 20, 2018 Report Share Posted November 20, 2018 36 minutes ago, Cancer said: A: That sounds like something off a poorly translated Chinese restaurant menu. Q: My new letter to President Xi is as HUUUUGE as everything else I do! He'll love it, just as everyone loves me! Well, everyone but the -- you're looking at me odd. Why? A: No, you can't fire the President of France. He's not on your payroll. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Asperion Posted November 21, 2018 Report Share Posted November 21, 2018 On 11/19/2018 at 8:55 PM, Michael Hopcroft said: Q: My new letter to President Xi is as HUUUUGE as everything else I do! He'll love it, just as everyone loves me! Well, everyone but the -- you're looking at me odd. Why? A: No, you can't fire the President of France. He's not on your payroll. Q: Did you hear who President Trump is intending to terminate next? A: The next sound that you hear will be your necromancer. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
clnicholsusa Posted November 21, 2018 Report Share Posted November 21, 2018 18 minutes ago, Asperion said: A: The next sound that you hear will be your necromancer. Q: What's he moaning about? A: I'm not dead! I'm not dead! I'm not! I'm getting better! I don't want to go on the cart.... I feel fine! I think I'll go for a walk.... I feel happy! I feel happy! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted November 21, 2018 Report Share Posted November 21, 2018 8 hours ago, clnicholsusa said: A: I'm not dead! I'm not dead! I'm not! I'm getting better! I don't want to go on the cart.... I feel fine! I think I'll go for a walk.... I feel happy! I feel happy! 2 Q: What makes you want to hang on in a town where everyone isn't covered in ****? A: I can handle this peril! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted November 21, 2018 Report Share Posted November 21, 2018 1 minute ago, Michael Hopcroft said: A: I can handle this peril! Q: Spending Thanksgiving at your mother-in-law's house, are you? A: And above all, I give thanks for titanium. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cancer Posted November 21, 2018 Report Share Posted November 21, 2018 30 minutes ago, Pariah said: A: And above all, I give thanks for titanium. Q: You're really fond of white sparks? A: Not for all the scandals in Scandinavia. Pariah 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted November 22, 2018 Report Share Posted November 22, 2018 On 11/21/2018 at 7:05 AM, Cancer said: A: Not for all the scandals in Scandinavia. Q: Will you run this story on Ivanka Trump and her emails? A: At moments like this, a Norwegian vacation looks pretty good. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted November 23, 2018 Report Share Posted November 23, 2018 22 hours ago, Michael Hopcroft said: A: At moments like this, a Norwegian vacation looks pretty good. Q - Pining for the fjords again, are we? A - Sadly, Dopeslapjutsu isn’t a real martial arts style. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cancer Posted November 23, 2018 Report Share Posted November 23, 2018 10 minutes ago, Pariah said: A - Sadly, Dopeslapjutsu isn’t a real martial arts style. Q: Did you know my combat school was established by Moe Howard? A: Just a stooge of a deeper evil. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted November 23, 2018 Report Share Posted November 23, 2018 20 minutes ago, Cancer said: A: Just a stooge of a deeper evil. Q: Remember the time when Moe Howard imitated Hitler? A: Nothing persuades him, not even obvious failure or cold hard facts. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Asperion Posted November 28, 2018 Report Share Posted November 28, 2018 On 11/23/2018 at 12:48 PM, Michael Hopcroft said: Q: Remember the time when Moe Howard imitated Hitler? A: Nothing persuades him, not even obvious failure or cold hard facts. Q: What makes you think that he is actually the devil in disguise? A: That cup definitely ran over - while it was empty. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted November 29, 2018 Report Share Posted November 29, 2018 15 hours ago, Asperion said: A: That cup definitely ran over - while it was empty. Q: You were trampled by porcelain? A: But you believe at heart everyone's a Care Bear. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted November 29, 2018 Report Share Posted November 29, 2018 12 minutes ago, Michael Hopcroft said: A: But you believe at heart everyone's a Care Bear. Q: I can't help but conclude that he is a black-hearted villain, a morally bankrupt charlatan completely bereft of any admirable human...why are you looking at me like that? A: That's our glorious leader, folks. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Asperion Posted November 30, 2018 Report Share Posted November 30, 2018 12 hours ago, Pariah said: Q: I can't help but conclude that he is a black-hearted villain, a morally bankrupt charlatan completely bereft of any admirable human...why are you looking at me like that? A: That's our glorious leader, folks. Q: He said "You're fired" to everyone in both Congress and the Supreme Court. Is there anything that you have to say about him? A: Welcome to the Empire Bash! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted December 2, 2018 Report Share Posted December 2, 2018 On 11/29/2018 at 5:35 PM, Asperion said: A: Welcome to the Empire Bash! Q: The Romans were great? The Romans were RATS! And you dare stand there defending the Babylonians? That's it -- gloves off, buddy! A: And now for a cheerful little family comedy about mass murder! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lucius Posted December 2, 2018 Report Share Posted December 2, 2018 5 hours ago, Michael Hopcroft said: A: And now for a cheerful little family comedy about mass murder! Q: Am I to understand that your play opens with a scene of a priest being killed in church? A: There goes the Cheerios! Lucius Alexander Did the palindromedary eat my tagline? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted December 2, 2018 Report Share Posted December 2, 2018 15 hours ago, Lucius said: A: There goes the Cheerios! Q: What's the worst part of being a grocery manager in Gotham City while Catwoman is raising a toddler? A: I'm sorry, whatever kind of warlock you are, but I'm just Stan from Accounting. I can't buy your soul without consulting my manager. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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