Cancer Posted April 25 Report Share Posted April 25 Just now, Michael Hopcroft said: A: Two times two equals five for sufficiently large values of Two. Q: What exactly qualifies you to become Secretary of the Treasury? A: It's all monopoly money, though there is significant contention over which monopoly. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Asperion Posted May 1 Report Share Posted May 1 On 4/24/2023 at 9:11 PM, Cancer said: Q: What exactly qualifies you to become Secretary of the Treasury? A: It's all monopoly money, though there is significant contention over which monopoly. Q: Why is WalMart attempting to make their own money? A: Lifestyles of the Rich and Infamous. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted May 1 Report Share Posted May 1 4 hours ago, Asperion said: A: Lifestyles of the Rich and Infamous. Q: < Insert gratuitous Draymond Green joke here. > A: Can't keep my eyes from the circling skies. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted May 16 Report Share Posted May 16 On 5/1/2023 at 11:39 AM, Pariah said: A: Can't keep my eyes from the circling skies. Q: And how is your field painti9ng going, Mister Van Gogh? A: It'll take more than a handful of Scooby Snacks to make me do it this time! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cancer Posted May 16 Report Share Posted May 16 31 minutes ago, Michael Hopcroft said: A: It'll take more than a handful of Scooby Snacks to make me do it this time! Q: The Assignment Board here at the Reincarnation Bureau suggests that another term as a large, intelligent dog is likely to be the best option for entities with your karmic rating. Would you like to hear the incentive packages available? A: Actually, the overall contentment ratings for cherrystone clams is far higher than those for most mammalian species. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted May 20 Report Share Posted May 20 On 5/15/2023 at 8:49 PM, Cancer said: A: Actually, the overall contentment ratings for cherrystone clams is far higher than those for most mammalian species. Q: Why should I follow your advice, doc, and have all the bits of my brain surgically removed? A: If this is the Hero This City Deserves, I'll take my chances and move my family to Manchester, New Hampshire. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted May 21 Report Share Posted May 21 On 5/19/2023 at 8:47 PM, Michael Hopcroft said: A: If this is the Hero This City Deserves, I'll take my chances and move my family to Manchester, New Hampshire. Q: Welcome to New Orleans! This is our city's most famous and beloved hero, Gambit! A: We replaced the adamantium with americium, but otherwise it's exactly the specs you requested. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Asperion Posted May 21 Report Share Posted May 21 9 hours ago, Pariah said: Q: Welcome to New Orleans! This is our city's most famous and beloved hero, Gambit! A: We replaced the adamantium with americium, but otherwise it's exactly the specs you requested. Q: Why does Wolverine have that strange glow? A: Your reactors are all filled with helium now. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted June 3 Report Share Posted June 3 On 5/21/2023 at 7:04 AM, Asperion said: Q: Why does Wolverine have that strange glow? A: Your reactors are all filled with helium now. Q: It's a bird! It's a plane! It's;... Los Alamos Labs? A: Batter my heart, Three-Person God! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Asperion Posted June 25 Report Share Posted June 25 On 6/2/2023 at 7:27 PM, Michael Hopcroft said: Q: It's a bird! It's a plane! It's;... Los Alamos Labs? A: Batter my heart, Three-Person God! Q: Why did you just travel through the dimensions in the manner that you did? A: That is not a Death Star, it's a Dread Star!!!! 😱😱😱😱😱😰😰😰😰 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted June 25 Report Share Posted June 25 31 minutes ago, Asperion said: A: That is not a Death Star, it's a Dread Star!!!! Q: Wait, that's not the Imperial March. Is that ... Rastafarian music? A: That really salts my melon! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted June 26 Report Share Posted June 26 13 hours ago, Pariah said: Q: Wait, that's not the Imperial March. Is that ... Rastafarian music? A: That really salts my melon! Q: This pink stuff you said you brought all the way from the Himalayas to California -- what does it to exactly? A: Yes, it did turn out that what you had on your fries when you were six years old did make a huge difference in the course of history that only now do you see terribly realized. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Asperion Posted June 26 Report Share Posted June 26 9 hours ago, Michael Hopcroft said: Q: This pink stuff you said you brought all the way from the Himalayas to California -- what does it to exactly? A: Yes, it did turn out that what you had on your fries when you were six years old did make a huge difference in the course of history that only now do you see terribly realized. Q: Just how did Odin get his ability to create the world? A: We have released the ultimate weapon - the ant. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cancer Posted June 26 Report Share Posted June 26 1 hour ago, Asperion said: A: We have released the ultimate weapon - the ant. Q: If you are convinced that picnicking is the cause of all that is unholy these days, what are you going to do about it? A: Seventeen years' worth of detritus in a one-year dumpster. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted June 26 Report Share Posted June 26 43 minutes ago, Cancer said: A: Seventeen years' worth of detritus in a one-year dumpster. Q: Tell me about your senior year in high school. A: Honestly, I didn't expect this many scorpions. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Asperion Posted July 3 Report Share Posted July 3 On 6/26/2023 at 10:27 AM, Pariah said: Q: Tell me about your senior year in high school. A: Honestly, I didn't expect this many scorpions. Q: Why are you so down? Are you not excited to be doing what you wanted as an egyptologist? A: We came from Planet Dredd. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cancer Posted July 3 Report Share Posted July 3 13 minutes ago, Asperion said: A: We came from Planet Dredd. Q: Why does everyone chant "Here come de judge" whenever you guys enter the room? A: Better than Planet Dead. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Asperion Posted July 10 Report Share Posted July 10 On 7/3/2023 at 8:18 AM, Cancer said: Q: Why does everyone chant "Here come de judge" whenever you guys enter the room? A: Better than Planet Dead. Q: What does the Doctor declare everytime that he regenerates? A: Welcome to Club Procrastination - Where there is no Better Time than Tomorrow Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted July 10 Report Share Posted July 10 1 hour ago, Asperion said: A: Welcome to Club Procrastination - Where there is no Better Time than Tomorrow Q: You say it will take an hour to get a drink to the table? Great! Thank you! A: Because the "Comical Moonlight" doesn't have the same ring to it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Asperion Posted July 17 Report Share Posted July 17 On 7/10/2023 at 9:00 AM, Michael Hopcroft said: Q: You say it will take an hour to get a drink to the table? Great! Thank you! A: Because the "Comical Moonlight" doesn't have the same ring to it. Q: Why do we not get any more Charlie Chaplin montage anymore? A: Betelgeuse just vanished. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
unclevlad Posted July 17 Report Share Posted July 17 2 hours ago, Asperion said: A: Betelgeuse just vanished. Q: Who ya gonna call???? A: Those who run away, live to fight another day. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted July 21 Report Share Posted July 21 On 7/17/2023 at 8:40 AM, unclevlad said: A: Those who run away, live to fight another day. Q: What is the very last thing a Civil War deserter wanted to hear? A: The cause of death was a blatant disrespect of the laws of physics. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Asperion Posted July 23 Report Share Posted July 23 On 7/21/2023 at 8:19 AM, Michael Hopcroft said: Q: What is the very last thing a Civil War deserter wanted to hear? A: The cause of death was a blatant disrespect of the laws of physics. Q: What did Ducky put on Wiley E. Coyote's death report? A: Now let's play Munchkin Hero. 🤕😁 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted July 31 Report Share Posted July 31 On 7/23/2023 at 9:15 AM, Asperion said: A: Now let's play Munchkin Hero. 🤕😁 Q: So, this guy started on AD&D? How can you tell? A: To pull this off, you need to roll a natural 23. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted August 8 Report Share Posted August 8 On 7/31/2023 at 4:56 PM, Pariah said: Q: So, this guy started on AD&D? How can you tell? A: To pull this off, you need to roll a natural 23. Q: See that mote in the elephant's eye two miles away? I'm going to fix it by attaching a suction cup to this arrow, tie a two-mile-ling line to it, shoot it into the elephant's eye and pull it back Voila! Mote-free elephant! What do you think? A: It's ok that your character died, She earned about 70000xp in the process! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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