July 25, 200717 yr comment_1323839 Re: Answers & Questions A: No' date=' heat seeking anti-personnel missiles will not stop termites.[/quote'] Q: Sarge, I'm ready to save the Redwood Forest! Is it go? A: There are few technical problems that cannot be solved with a swift kick to the temporal oscillation system.
July 25, 200717 yr comment_1323843 Re: Answers & Questions A: There are few technical problems that cannot be solved with a swift kick to the temporal oscillation system. Q: Why is there all of these dents in the TARDIS' control unit? A: My oh my, that is it - the oberitoralion symatinator was indead the problem.
July 25, 200717 yr comment_1323846 Re: Answers & Questions A: My oh my' date=' that is it - the oberitoralion symatinator was indead the problem.[/quote'] Q: Inept, insignificant scientist, Professor Muerte demands to know why his newest weapon of world conquest isn't working yet! A: I guess there are worse ways to go.
July 25, 200717 yr comment_1323871 Re: Answers & Questions A: I guess there are worse ways to go. Q: The victim was locked in his Orgasmatron, and then the murderer nailed down the timer so it wouldn't turn off, after cross-wiring the stimulation module from the 12 V wall-wart supply to the 440 VAC building main feed. Ever hear of that one before? A: That's what happens when you forget to pay your gravity bill.
July 25, 200717 yr comment_1323902 Re: Answers & Questions A: That's what happens when you forget to pay your gravity bill. Q: Say, Minnie, why is Pluto orbiting Uranus? A: So that everybody will think this paradise world we've found is actually an Inferno and avoid it like the plague.
July 26, 200717 yr Author comment_1323958 Re: Answers & Questions A: So that everybody will think this paradise world we've found is actually an Inferno and avoid it like the plague. Q: Why are you dropping beacons all over this planet to give starships false sensor readings? A: It wasn't that bad - only much worse.
July 26, 200717 yr comment_1323961 Re: Answers & Questions A: It wasn't that bad - only much worse. Q: So would you compare your trip to Purgatory to a night with MightyBec? A: Blonde and curly, I promise!
July 26, 200717 yr Author comment_1323972 Re: Answers & Questions A: Blonde and curly' date=' I promise![/quote'] Q: Does the carpet match the drapes? A: Blaq
July 26, 200717 yr comment_1323984 Re: Answers & Questions A: Blaq Q: And what color tuxedo will Mr. O'Neal be wearing to the Grammys? A: Yes, Officer, I'll pay my parking tickets. Right away, sir. And here are my car keys so it doesn't happen again.
July 26, 200717 yr Author comment_1324012 Re: Answers & Questions A: Yes' date=' Officer, I'll pay my parking tickets. Right away, sir. And here are my car keys so it doesn't happen again.[/quote'] Q: What will you *never* hear Mel Gibson or Lindsy Lohan say? A: Perfectly unreasonable behavior.
July 26, 200717 yr comment_1324017 Re: Answers & Questions A: Perfectly unreasonable behavior. Q: How do you describe screaming "MOVIE!" in a crowded firehouse? A: I don't think that ducking and covering is really going to help.
July 26, 200717 yr comment_1324169 Re: Answers & Questions A: I don't think that ducking and covering is really going to help. Q: This strange chap came into the pub, ordered six pints of bitters for him and his mate, and told the barkeep the world was going to end in a few minutes. Suppose we oughter duck and cover or something? A: It's the strangest thing I've seen today, that's for sure.
July 26, 200717 yr comment_1324187 Re: Answers & Questions A: It's the strangest thing I've seen today' date=' that's for sure.[/quote'] Q: You've seen my Moss-Covered Three-Handled family Credenza, haven't you? A: There's no way you're going to fit that into the trunk.
July 26, 200717 yr comment_1324226 Re: Answers & Questions Q: You've seen my Moss-Covered Three-Handled family Credenza, haven't you? A: There's no way you're going to fit that into the trunk. Q: The Elephant is trying to eat the World's biggest peanut ! How do we stop him ? A: No it isn't !
July 26, 200717 yr comment_1324270 Re: Answers & Questions A: No it isn't ! Q: Sir, before I let you onto the flight to Milwaukee -- is this your thermonuclear device? A: Nobody wants to admit they need a lobotomy until it becomes obvious.
July 26, 200717 yr comment_1324315 Re: Answers & Questions A: Nobody wants to admit they need a lobotomy until it becomes obvious. Q: Would you please put that chainsaw down? I'm not a tree, and there are no logs for miles. A: That isn't what that tool was made for!!
July 26, 200717 yr comment_1324319 Re: Answers & Questions A: That isn't what that tool was made for!! Q: Is this Painting 101? I've brought my chain saw... A: The destruction could be seen from orbit.
July 26, 200717 yr comment_1324355 Re: Answers & Questions A: The destruction could be seen from orbit. Q: So how was the party last weekend? A: For Ghod's sake, use some lube! Doc
July 26, 200717 yr Author comment_1324488 Re: Answers & Questions A: For Ghod's sake' date=' use some lube![/quote'] Q: What did Johnathan Ghod say to his fellow inmates? A: Almost, but not quite.
July 26, 200717 yr comment_1324489 Re: Answers & Questions A: For Ghod's sake' date=' use some lube![/quote'] Q: You're going put what where? A: You know, I sort of expected Barry Bonds to be swallowed up by the earth during his trot like that for some reason.
July 26, 200717 yr comment_1324503 Re: Answers & Questions A: Almost' date=' but not quite.[/quote'] Q: Are you totally, completely, 100% sure that Barry Bonds is using banned supplements? A: You know' date=' I sort of expected Barry Bonds to be swallowed up by the earth during his trot like that for some reason.[/quote'] Q: Hey, did I just feel an earthquake as Barry hit #756? A: Lindsay Lohan, Paris Hilton, Smurfette, and an auditorium full of Elvis imitators.
July 26, 200717 yr comment_1324506 Re: Answers & Questions A: Lindsay Lohan' date=' Paris Hilton, Smurfette, and an auditorium full of Elvis imitators.[/quote'] Q: One of these things not like the others, one of things is sorta fun. Can you tell me which thing is not like the others by the time I finish this song? A: Actually, no, because you've stopped singing now.
July 26, 200717 yr comment_1324518 Re: Answers & Questions Q: One of these things not like the others' date=' one of things is sorta fun.[/quote'] Just as an aside, Mr. Hopcroft, I'm a little worried about you.... A: Actually, no, because you've stopped singing now.Q: Wow, singing the national anthem was swell! Do I get a glove now? A: It's not the sort of thing you normally see on a cricket pitch, that's for sure.
July 26, 200717 yr comment_1324524 Re: Answers & Questions A: It's not the sort of thing you normally see on a cricket pitch' date=' that's for sure.[/quote'] Q: Where did those killer robots and that Chesterfield sofa, not to mention the guy in the tattered bathrobe with a rabbit bone in his beard, come from? A: Twenty-Four.
July 26, 200717 yr comment_1324526 Re: Answers & Questions A: Twenty-Four. Q: Arthur, are you feeling dyslexic? A: Sorta like that, but with brooms.
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