Michael Hopcroft Posted July 26, 2007 Report Share Posted July 26, 2007 Re: Answers & Questions A: Sorta like that' date=' but with brooms.[/quote'] Q: So I have to win a duel to the death with the other applicant to get the job as head janitor? A: That's odd. That's the fifth Pirate that's called today. There must be a convention in town. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sundog Posted July 27, 2007 Report Share Posted July 27, 2007 Re: Answers & Questions Q: So I have to win a duel to the death with the other applicant to get the job as head janitor? A: That's odd. That's the fifth Pirate that's called today. There must be a convention in town. Q: Hey, you're getting really good at dodging cutlasses. A: That's the taste of breaking glass. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted July 27, 2007 Report Share Posted July 27, 2007 Re: Answers & Questions A: That's the taste of breaking glass. Q: I've never been thrown through a plate glass window before. It's an odd collection of sensations. For example, what's this flavor explosion I'm experiencing? A: Annie Lennox or k d lang, you decide. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DocMan Posted July 27, 2007 Report Share Posted July 27, 2007 Re: Answers & Questions A: Annie Lennox or k d lang' date=' you decide.[/quote'] Q: For your crimes you have been sentenced to death by experiencing real-life equivilents of song lyrics. But you may choose the composor of your death. Who do you choose? A: That's cruel and unusual! But I like it! Doc Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marcus Impudite Posted July 28, 2007 Report Share Posted July 28, 2007 Re: Answers & Questions Q: For your crimes you have been sentenced to death by experiencing real-life equivilents of song lyrics. But you may choose the composor of your death. Who do you choose? A: That's cruel and unusual! But I like it! Doc Q: We caught the guy who robbed you, what do you say about tossing him feet first into a wood chipper? A: Nice little town, but the night life around here leaves much to be desired. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tim Posted July 28, 2007 Report Share Posted July 28, 2007 Re: Answers & Questions Q: We caught the guy who robbed you, what do you say about tossing him feet first into a wood chipper? A: Nice little town, but the night life around here leaves much to be desired. Q: So, What's your opinion of Santa Carla, CA? A: Try spending the whole day. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted July 28, 2007 Report Share Posted July 28, 2007 Re: Answers & Questions A: Try spending the whole day. Q: Is there anything I can experience that would be worse than spending an hour in the Macon County lockup? A: If there's anything weirder than you, I've yet to see it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Klytus Posted July 28, 2007 Author Report Share Posted July 28, 2007 Re: Answers & Questions A: If there's anything weirder than you' date=' I've yet to see it.[/quote'] Q: What does Mightybec hear so often, he replies, "If I only had nickel every time I heard that!" ? A: Ghost hunting and nacho cheese. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted July 28, 2007 Report Share Posted July 28, 2007 Re: Answers & Questions A: Ghost hunting and nacho cheese. Q: Name two great tastes that taste great together. A: And that is the lesson to be learned from the Parable of the Celebrity Harlot and the Octopus Men from A Planet near Alpha Centauri. Let us close with a hymn. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted July 28, 2007 Report Share Posted July 28, 2007 Re: Answers & Questions A: And that is the lesson to be learned from the Parable of the Celebrity Harlot and the Octopus Men from A Planet near Alpha Centauri. Let us close with a hymn. Q: What did Reverend Sharpton say to make you think he was on LSD for Sunday's sermon? A: I didn't like it then, and I like it a whole lot less now. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted July 28, 2007 Report Share Posted July 28, 2007 Re: Answers & Questions A: I didn't like it then' date=' and I like it a whole lot less now.[/quote'] Q: What do you think of the new Blu-Ray release of House of the Dead? It's in Swahili, with Farsi subtitles a commentary track by some random Polish alcoholic that can never be switched off! A: That was something I did not need to see in high-definition. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted July 28, 2007 Report Share Posted July 28, 2007 Re: Answers & Questions A: That was something I did not need to see in high-definition. Q: Tammy Faye's funeral was an open-casket ceremony? (With apologies to the departed.) A: You, you, and you, panic. The rest of you, follow me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted July 28, 2007 Report Share Posted July 28, 2007 Re: Answers & Questions A: You' date=' you, and you, panic. The rest of you, follow me.[/quote'] Q: The android rebels are almost on top of us, sir! what are your orders? A: There is a time at which it is appropriate to flee in panicked terror with no regard for the safety of any other living thing. This, Gentlemen, is that time. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tim Posted July 28, 2007 Report Share Posted July 28, 2007 Re: Answers & Questions A: There is a time at which it is appropriate to flee in panicked terror with no regard for the safety of any other living thing. This, Gentlemen, is that time. Q: Blackadder, the Germans are almost on top of our position. What should we do? A: keep a stiff upper lip. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Klytus Posted July 28, 2007 Author Report Share Posted July 28, 2007 Re: Answers & Questions A: keep a stiff upper lip. Q: What is really lousy advice regarding oral sex? A: The 15-bladed razor. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sundog Posted July 29, 2007 Report Share Posted July 29, 2007 Re: Answers & Questions Q: What is really lousy advice regarding oral sex? A: The 15-bladed razor. Q: What grooming implement was banned by a special codicil to the Geneva Conventions? A: ASSWIPE: Shadow of Peoria. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted July 30, 2007 Report Share Posted July 30, 2007 Re: Answers & Questions A: ASSWIPE: Shadow of Peoria. Q: Did you forget to take you Tourette's medication again? A: I find your proposal highly original, vastly intriguing, and deeply disturbing. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cancer Posted July 30, 2007 Report Share Posted July 30, 2007 Re: Answers & Questions A: I find your proposal highly original' date=' vastly intriguing, and deeply disturbing.[/quote'] Q: That's it! A working, safe & effective aphrodisiac gas! Where to use it first? The Legislature, the County Fair, or the junior high three blocks away? A: Y'know, you can get hard time in forty-three states just for thinking that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Klytus Posted July 30, 2007 Author Report Share Posted July 30, 2007 Re: Answers & Questions A: Y'know' date=' you can get hard time in forty-three states just for [u']thinking[/u] that. Q: What do you think of my plan to raise cash by posting these pictures from the orgy my grandma held last week on a pay-per-view website? A: Lots and lot and lots of hard work. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted July 30, 2007 Report Share Posted July 30, 2007 Re: Answers & Questions A: Lots and lot and lots of hard work. Q: I want Jack to be the dullest boy imaginable. How do I do that? A: That's no space station -- THAT'S A MOON! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cancer Posted July 30, 2007 Report Share Posted July 30, 2007 Re: Answers & Questions A: That's no space station -- THAT'S A MOON! Q: What do you make of it, sir? Station 3W is oddly round, and it looks split down the middle.... A: You, sir, remain most tiresomely predictable. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Klytus Posted July 30, 2007 Author Report Share Posted July 30, 2007 Re: Answers & Questions A: You' date=' sir, remain most tiresomely predictable.[/quote'] Q: How did Death Tribble react to Zornwill's latest death match challenge? A: And then, there was one million. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cancer Posted July 31, 2007 Report Share Posted July 31, 2007 Re: Answers & Questions A: And then' date=' there was one million.[/quote'] Q: I had a hundred million dollars! And thought about what to do with it! So I took it to the commodities market! A: Second prize in a beauty contest. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tim Posted July 31, 2007 Report Share Posted July 31, 2007 Re: Answers & Questions A: Second prize in a beauty contest. Q: You just landed on Community Chest? What card you get? A: She has a Community Chest. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Klytus Posted July 31, 2007 Author Report Share Posted July 31, 2007 Re: Answers & Questions A: She has a Community Chest. Q: What is a PC way of saying a girl "gets around"? A: Much thicker than it is long. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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