Michael Hopcroft Posted December 15, 2012 Report Share Posted December 15, 2012 Re: Answers & Questions A: It was -13% off. Q: Why on Earth would you want to buy a used Wii? A: Every year at this time I must fight back my overwhelming urge to kick puppies and punch department store Santas in the face. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted December 24, 2012 Report Share Posted December 24, 2012 Re: Answers & Questions A: Every year at this time I must fight back my overwhelming urge to kick puppies and punch department store Santas in the face. Q - You really are a mean one, aren't you, Mister Grinch? A - I had no idea that was Tony the Tiger. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted December 25, 2012 Report Share Posted December 25, 2012 Re: Answers & Questions A - I had no idea that was Tony the Tiger. Q: Dear, the kids keep feeding breakfast cereal to you new rug. Do you have any idea why? A: I'd tell you about my awesome power and sagacity, but then you'd have to do only what I say and that would be dull as paint. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Klytus Posted December 26, 2012 Author Report Share Posted December 26, 2012 Re: Answers & Questions A: I'd tell you about my awesome power and sagacity' date=' but then you'd have to do only what I say and that would be dull as paint.[/quote'] Q: Why won't Menton share his secrets with us? A: It's like that, only dirtier. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted December 27, 2012 Report Share Posted December 27, 2012 Re: Answers & Questions A: It's like that' date=' only dirtier.[/quote'] Q: Does mud wrestling bear any resemblance whatsoever to Jello wrestling? A: Finding a grizzly bear who will cooperate seems to be your major challenge. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted December 27, 2012 Report Share Posted December 27, 2012 Re: Answers & Questions A: Finding a grizzly bear who will cooperate seems to be your major challenge. Q - Thank you! And for my next trick, I'll need two volunteers, a silk handkerchief, and a grizzly bear! Any volunteers? A - I don't care how much it cost. Take it back. Today. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Asperion Posted December 27, 2012 Report Share Posted December 27, 2012 Re: Answers & Questions A - I don't care how much it cost. Take it back. Today. Q: I would like to thank you for the Rolls Royce. What do you mean that you do not like it? A: The leviathan is only a baby. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted December 27, 2012 Report Share Posted December 27, 2012 Re: Answers & Questions A: The leviathan is only a baby. Q: What is that creature, and where did the Chrysler Building go? A: In this case, sir, citing the T-Rex ambling around Burbank does not prove your point. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted December 28, 2012 Report Share Posted December 28, 2012 Re: Answers & Questions A: In this case' date=' sir, citing the T-Rex ambling around Burbank does not prove your point.[/quote'] Q - California's a really strange place, isn't it? A - Fortunately, that's the last stupid mistake you'll ever make. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted December 31, 2012 Report Share Posted December 31, 2012 Re: Answers & Questions A - Fortunately' date=' that's the last stupid mistake you'll ever make.[/quote'] Q: Gee, that's really strong almond flavor in this soda -- you think maybe I shouldn't have dran -- GACK! A: Don't wave that thing around like that! You could hurt someone! Probably ME! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted December 31, 2012 Report Share Posted December 31, 2012 Re: Answers & Questions A: Don't wave that thing around like that! You could hurt someone! Probably ME! Q - How do you like my new scimitar? A - It's chocolate-covered awesome, that's what it is. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Klytus Posted January 1, 2013 Author Report Share Posted January 1, 2013 Re: Answers & Questions A - It's chocolate-covered awesome' date=' that's what it is.[/quote'] Q: Why did you coat your new scimitar in chocolate? A: Soon to be rusty. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted January 1, 2013 Report Share Posted January 1, 2013 Re: Answers & Questions A: Soon to be rusty. Q: That watery tart just came out of the lake and handed you a sword? A: I can understand you needing a haircut, but I don't think this cavalry saber is the right tool for the job. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted January 2, 2013 Report Share Posted January 2, 2013 Re: Answers & Questions A: I can understand you needing a haircut' date=' but I don't think this cavalry saber is the right tool for the job.[/quote'] Q - New haircut, General Custer? A - Give up your heart. You won't need it where you are going. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cancer Posted January 2, 2013 Report Share Posted January 2, 2013 Re: Answers & Questions A - Give up your heart. You won't need it where you are going. Q: There's a lovely girl over there, but here I am in the Aztec sacrifice holding pen. Is there any hope for this romance? A: Demons are stupid that way. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Klytus Posted January 2, 2013 Author Report Share Posted January 2, 2013 Re: Answers & Questions A: Demons are stupid that way. Q: Why don't they ever look for angels in ice cream trucks? A: So is my bank account. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted January 2, 2013 Report Share Posted January 2, 2013 Re: Answers & Questions A: So is my bank account. Q: Why is your refrigerator empty? A: Food, glorious food. I'm eager to try it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted January 5, 2013 Report Share Posted January 5, 2013 Re: Answers & Questions A: Food' date=' glorious food. I'm eager to try it.[/quote'] Q - Welcome to Chez Ritz, Me. Gandhi. Have you dined with us before? A - Multiplication is not the best approach to solving this particular problem. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted January 5, 2013 Report Share Posted January 5, 2013 Re: Answers & Questions A - Multiplication is not the best approach to solving this particular problem. Q: Why is it that when I balance my checkbook I turn out to have a much bigger balance than the bank says I do? A: He's in the best-selling show Is There Life on Mars?. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cancer Posted January 8, 2013 Report Share Posted January 8, 2013 Re: Answers & Questions A: He's in the best-selling show Is There Life on Mars?. Q: Who is this Marshawn the Martian guy, and why does he spend so much time cruising the Strip? A: I don't recommend the Petri Plate Special. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Asperion Posted January 8, 2013 Report Share Posted January 8, 2013 Re: Answers & Questions A: I don't recommend the Petri Plate Special. Q: What is this plate that comes on several platters, served by a steel-banded waiter with a strong Russian accent? A: Freshly braised Snarf. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cancer Posted January 8, 2013 Report Share Posted January 8, 2013 Re: Answers & Questions A: Freshly braised Snarf. Q: How do you think SnarfQuest will end? A: Snarf, snark, snotling, ... Here we go, snorklewacker! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted January 9, 2013 Report Share Posted January 9, 2013 Re: Answers & Questions A: Snarf' date=' snark, snotling, ... Here we go, snorklewacker![/quote'] Q: Are you almost done with my Little Big Book With Which to Whack Small Annoying Creatures About the Head? A: I think it's nice of our trim little Coast Guard cutter to show mercy on that enemy battleship. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Asperion Posted January 10, 2013 Report Share Posted January 10, 2013 Re: Answers & Questions A: I think it's nice of our trim little Coast Guard cutter to show mercy on that enemy battleship. Q: Just because they outmass us 25:1 with comparable ratios in weapons and men what makes you think that we would be able to defeat them? A: Byte me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Klytus Posted January 13, 2013 Author Report Share Posted January 13, 2013 Re: Answers & Questions A: Byte me. Q: How do AI's insult one another? A: Again with the vampires. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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