Asperion Posted February 24, 2013 Report Share Posted February 24, 2013 Re: Answers & Questions A: You may think those razor-sharp knives on your feet impress me. Q: Now that I have completed that new, experimental procedure, what do you think of these new attachments? A: Factual accuracy is overrated. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cancer Posted February 24, 2013 Report Share Posted February 24, 2013 Re: Answers & Questions A: Factual accuracy is overrated. Q: What is the core dictum of present-day journalism? A: Yes, there were police outside my house and a helicopter overhead at 2:15 AM last night. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted February 24, 2013 Report Share Posted February 24, 2013 Re: Answers & Questions A: Yes' date=' there were police outside my house and a helicopter overhead at 2:15 AM last night.[/quote'] Q: Tom, you look like you haven't slept in a week! Is something wrong? A: There's a guy been awake since the Second World War. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Asperion Posted February 24, 2013 Report Share Posted February 24, 2013 Re: Answers & Questions A: There's a guy been awake since the Second World War. Q: What makes you think that the Rip Van Wrinkle drug does not work as intended? A: A razor blade, a butane torch, and sand. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted February 24, 2013 Report Share Posted February 24, 2013 Re: Answers & Questions A: A razor blade' date=' a butane torch, and sand.[/quote'] Q: Name three things that will not work if you're trying to cut Superman's hair. A: Somehow I don't think anyone will be getting your distress signal in time. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted February 25, 2013 Report Share Posted February 25, 2013 Re: Answers & Questions A: Factual accuracy is overrated. Q: What is the core dictum of present-day journalism? Quoted for truth. (You must spread Rep yadda yadda yadda.) A: Somehow I don't think anyone will be getting your distress signal in time. Q - The fusion reactor could go critical at any moment! Quick, send an S.O.S.! A - Nothing that a few kilos of plutonium in just the right place wouldn't fix. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted February 25, 2013 Report Share Posted February 25, 2013 Re: Answers & Questions A - Nothing that a few kilos of plutonium in just the right place wouldn't fix. Q: What's the matter? Don't you like living in Portland? A: We live in the city most likely to be nuked by our own government. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Asperion Posted February 25, 2013 Report Share Posted February 25, 2013 Re: Answers & Questions A: We live in the city most likely to be nuked by our own government. Q: What is the best thing about Toledo, Ohio? A: A cop on the edge, a woman with a dark secret and a duck with a serious attitude problem. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted February 26, 2013 Report Share Posted February 26, 2013 Re: Answers & Questions A: A cop on the edge' date=' a woman with a dark secret and a duck with a serious attitude problem.[/quote'] Q - Who's Bunneh taking in this month's Superdraft? A - I have no clue. I don't even know the direction to a ZIP code where I might find a clue. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted February 26, 2013 Report Share Posted February 26, 2013 Re: Answers & Questions A - I have no clue. I don't even know the direction to a ZIP code where I might find a clue. Q: Let's see, Monopoly, Risk, Sorry -- are there any Parker Brothers games you don't have? A: It's a bad design. I've always said so. An hour in them and you start to cook. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Asperion Posted February 26, 2013 Report Share Posted February 26, 2013 Re: Answers & Questions A: It's a bad design. I've always said so. An hour in them and you start to cook. Q: What is that panic room doing in this place? A: Your own little pleasure slave Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cancer Posted February 26, 2013 Report Share Posted February 26, 2013 Re: Answers & Questions A: Your own little pleasure slave Spoilered for bad taste. Q: Earthling, what's that at the end of your arm? A: So close, and yet so far. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Asperion Posted March 2, 2013 Report Share Posted March 2, 2013 A: So close' date=' and yet so far.[/quote'] Q: What phrase does the Quicksilver live by? A: Sometimes you have fun and sometimes the fun has you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted March 5, 2013 Report Share Posted March 5, 2013 A: Sometimes you have fun and sometimes the fun has you. Q: Why do movies keep interrupting your conversation? A: My power ring doesn't work on anything purple. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marcus Impudite Posted March 11, 2013 Report Share Posted March 11, 2013 A: My power ring doesn't work on anything purple. Q: Yo, Pink Lantern, why aren't you helping us take down the One-Eyed One-Horned Flying Purple People Eater? A: I told you to steal his keys, not his cheese. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted March 11, 2013 Report Share Posted March 11, 2013 A: I told you to steal his keys' date=' not his [i']cheese[/i]. Q - What's the problem with having hearing-impaired lackeys? A - Yes. But you're not invited. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Klytus Posted March 17, 2013 Author Report Share Posted March 17, 2013 A: I told you to steal his keys' date=' not his [i']cheese[/i]. Q - What's the problem with having hearing-impaired lackeys? A - Yes. But you're not invited. Q: Are you truly having a party in my honor? A: No such thing. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted March 18, 2013 Report Share Posted March 18, 2013 A: No such thing. Q - Hey, Mr. Heinlein, do you know where I can get a free lunch? A - No, I never saw such a thing--and if you're smart, neither did you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted March 18, 2013 Report Share Posted March 18, 2013 A - No' date=' I never saw such a thing--and if you're smart, neither did you.[/quote'] Q: Did some skinny guy in a red suit and a white cape just fly in and stop our crime spree? A: But while you're sleeping, I sing and dance. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted April 20, 2013 Report Share Posted April 20, 2013 A: But while you're sleeping' date=' I sing and dance. [/quote'] Q - Don't you ever sleep? I'm exhausted here! A - I can't tell you, because I don't even know. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted April 20, 2013 Report Share Posted April 20, 2013 A - I can't tell you' date=' because I don't even know.[/quote'] Q: This is important! I need to know who's going to win the Nats game tonight! A: And it's one, two, three strikes you're out of the Internet! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted April 29, 2013 Report Share Posted April 29, 2013 A: And it's one' date=' two, three strikes you're out of the Internet! [/quote'] Q - How many times do I have to violate the Online Rules of Etiquette before I get Banned? A - Go to Hell. Go directly to Hell. Do not pass Go. Do not collect $200. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted May 20, 2013 Report Share Posted May 20, 2013 A - Go to Hell. Go directly to Hell. Do not pass Go. Do not collect $200. Q: Can you trade me Park Place for this bag of M&Ms? A: He means well, but wherever he goes penguins follow. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cancer Posted May 20, 2013 Report Share Posted May 20, 2013 A: He means well' date=' but wherever he goes penguins follow.[/quote'] Q: Why is Green Guano Man not allowed in any of the fishmonger stalls at the market? A: That's like those other seminal military disasters in American history, when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor, the Apaches wiped out the Union Army at Chancellorsville, and the Luxembourgians burned the White House. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted May 24, 2013 Report Share Posted May 24, 2013 A: That's like those other seminal military disasters in American history' date=' when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor, the Apaches wiped out the Union Army at Chancellorsville, and the Luxembourgians burned the White House.[/quote'] Q: They put Fox News writers in charge of the history curriculum at West Point? They didn't change anything, did they? A: How dare you call me violent! (WHAM!) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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