Michael Hopcroft Posted August 29, 2013 Report Share Posted August 29, 2013 A: I think that third one is not a current teen-love boy band. Q: Here ya go -- all the albums your daughter's friends are listening to: One Direction, District 3, Global Thermonuclear War. She'll be so totally into them! A: I had to get this for my daughter. She still wants to be Miley Cyrus when she grows up. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Asperion Posted August 30, 2013 Report Share Posted August 30, 2013 A: I had to get this for my daughter. She still wants to be Miley Cyrus when she grows up. Q: Who is that fancy reverb, laser-mic going for? A: Ablative armor fondu. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted September 1, 2013 Report Share Posted September 1, 2013 A: Ablative armor fondu. Q: Why are you wearing melted cheese into battle? A: Yes, Precious, that is a great costume. I see that. Now go inside and put on some real clothes. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Asperion Posted September 3, 2013 Report Share Posted September 3, 2013 A: Yes' date=' Precious, that is a great costume. I see that. Now go inside and put on some real clothes.[/quote'] Q: Did you see the Emperor's new uniform? A: That 1920's-era truck was in the Gamma Quadrant. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted September 4, 2013 Report Share Posted September 4, 2013 A: That 1920's-era truck was in the Gamma Quadrant. Q: Doc Brown's new time machine looks singularly unimpressive, doesn't it? A: That's what you get for having to repeat kindergarten 37 times. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cancer Posted September 5, 2013 Report Share Posted September 5, 2013 A: That's what you get for having to repeat kindergarten 37 times. Q: Addiction to Carnation Pink Crayolas? A: Blow up the cows and rebuild. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Asperion Posted September 6, 2013 Report Share Posted September 6, 2013 A: Blow up the cows and rebuild. Q: Who gave the Unibomer a limited demolition license? A: Nobody - He found it at the bottom of a Cracker Jack box. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted September 6, 2013 Report Share Posted September 6, 2013 A: Nobody - He found it at the bottom of a Cracker Jack box. Q: Hey! Who gave Steve Ballmer several million shares of Microsoft stock? A: And this, once again, is why we never try to divide by zero. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Asperion Posted September 7, 2013 Report Share Posted September 7, 2013 A: And this' date=' once again, is why we never try to divide by zero.[/quote'] Q: Just who introduced this imaginary element into our numeration system? A: The Sun Stealer. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted September 11, 2013 Report Share Posted September 11, 2013 A: The Sun Stealer. Q: What criminal can only be hunted in the dark? A: It was like a scene out of a movie. Mind you, it was like a scene out of a very bad movie, but still.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cancer Posted September 11, 2013 Report Share Posted September 11, 2013 A: It was like a scene out of a movie. Mind you' date=' it was like a scene out of a [i']very bad[/i] movie, but still.... Q: The service was that bad, huh? A: December 7, 1941. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Asperion Posted September 14, 2013 Report Share Posted September 14, 2013 A: December 7' date=' 1941.[/quote'] Q: Were all the superheroes sleeping in on this day? A: The Enterprise's piledriver. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted September 14, 2013 Report Share Posted September 14, 2013 A: The Enterprise's piledriver. Q: What punched that enormous hole in the crust of the Romulan homeworld? A: Shia Lebouf was not harmed in the production of this motion picture. DAMN! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Asperion Posted September 17, 2013 Report Share Posted September 17, 2013 A: Shia Lebouf was not harmed in the production of this motion picture. DAMN! Q: Did the Silver Surfer steal the AllSpark again? A: Mothra flew by. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cancer Posted September 17, 2013 Report Share Posted September 17, 2013 A: Mothra flew by. Q: What's with all the clamor for restarting mass production of DDT? A: Investigation of symbiotic stars are boring. Investigation of symbiotic relationships with the hot green women of Planet Playtex (also known as EZ Sex LXIX), however, is NOT boring. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted September 18, 2013 Report Share Posted September 18, 2013 A: Investigation of symbiotic stars are boring. Investigation of symbiotic relationships with the hot green women of Planet Playtex (also known as EZ Sex LXIX)' date=' however, is NOT boring.[/quote'] Q: Why do most Starfleet officers never bother with studying astronomy? A: Yes, you were absolutely right about the Illuminati. But you're still a paranoid loonie. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Asperion Posted September 19, 2013 Report Share Posted September 19, 2013 A: Yes' date=' you were absolutely right about the Illuminati. But you're still a paranoid loonie.[/quote'] Q: Why is the Joker glowing like that? A. The annual Penguin Thumping Championships Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cancer Posted September 19, 2013 Report Share Posted September 19, 2013 A. The annual Penguin Thumping Championships Q: OK, so who came in third in PETA's Cruelty To Animals List of shame? A: Those Credit Card Services scam telemarketers, the International Olympic Committee, and Vladimir Putin. Oh, and don't forget Jabba the Hutt. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted September 20, 2013 Report Share Posted September 20, 2013 A: Those Credit Card Services scam telemarketers' date=' the International Olympic Committee, and Vladimir Putin. Oh, and don't forget Jabba the Hutt.[/quote'] Q: Who's on your list of People You Really Want The Earth To Open Up Under And Swallow Whole? A: Were you not the only supplier of air for the entire planet, your customer service system would cost you a ton of business. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Asperion Posted September 25, 2013 Report Share Posted September 25, 2013 A: Were you not the only supplier of air for the entire planet' date=' your customer service system would cost you a ton of business.[/quote'] Q: Camulus Air Services, Inc., your call is important to Us, please stay on the line and a Deity will be with you shortly, your wait time will be approximately 5000 years. Would you like to wait? A: Meeting of the planets. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted September 28, 2013 Report Share Posted September 28, 2013 A: Meeting of the planets. Q: Your new dub of Gatchman seems to be missing the point. You have them sitting around a desk all episode discussing education policy. What ar e you calling it? A: Time to trade in your old equipment that doesn't work for this brand-new equipment that doesn't work! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted September 28, 2013 Report Share Posted September 28, 2013 A: Time to trade in your old equipment that doesn't work for this brand-new equipment that doesn't work! Q - What is the Americam voting public effectively told every 2/4/6 years at election time? A - I say we nominate him for a Nobel prize. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted September 28, 2013 Report Share Posted September 28, 2013 A - I say we nominate him for a Nobel prize. Q: Did you hear? the villaious Dr Oven has created muffins that taste like heaven and work like dynamite! A:: Rule #8: Clothing is MANDATORY! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Asperion Posted September 29, 2013 Report Share Posted September 29, 2013 A:: Rule #8: Clothing is MANDATORY! Q: What rule is most often ignored by nudists? A: Spoonerisms R Us Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cancer Posted September 29, 2013 Report Share Posted September 29, 2013 A: Spoonerisms R UsQ: What company was founded back when Hoobert Heever was president? A: Just about thirty thousand pounds of bananas. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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