Michael Hopcroft Posted September 29, 2013 Report Share Posted September 29, 2013 A: Just about thirty thousand pounds of bananas. Q: So, Fred, you're delivering lunch to that company that's trying to rewrite Hamlet. What's in the back of the truck? A: No, I didn't tell you to hire an infinite number of monks! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted September 29, 2013 Report Share Posted September 29, 2013 A: No, I didn't tell you to hire an infinite number of monks! Q - I don't know why you're so upset about our payroll. You're the one who told me to hire an infinite number of monks! A - Hey hey, you're a monkey! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted September 29, 2013 Report Share Posted September 29, 2013 A - Hey hey, you're a monkey! Q: Sorry I'm late. 7-Eleven was all out of bananas and I had to go farther to get some. What have I missed? A: As soon as you realize you're wrong we can get started. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Asperion Posted September 29, 2013 Report Share Posted September 29, 2013 A: As soon as you realize you're wrong we can get started. Q: What is the chief motto of Obama? A: Planetary Wrap Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted September 30, 2013 Report Share Posted September 30, 2013 A: Planetary Wrap Q - How do you explain the non-Euclidian driving directions I keep getting on Google Maps? A - Just throw some more on top there. That'll fix it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted September 30, 2013 Report Share Posted September 30, 2013 A - Just throw some more on top there. That'll fix it. Q: The Chrysler Buidling is looking awfully wobbly all of a sudden. How can we keep it from falling down? A: And this, friends, is why Jenga sets should not be used in architecture classes. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Asperion Posted September 30, 2013 Report Share Posted September 30, 2013 A: And this, friends, is why Jenga sets should not be used in architecture classes. Q: Why does this building look so shaky? A: Hulk happy. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted September 30, 2013 Report Share Posted September 30, 2013 A: Hulk happy. Q - why Hulk no smash? A - No time like the future! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted October 1, 2013 Report Share Posted October 1, 2013 A - No time like the future! Q: When on Earth do you plan to pay your bills? A: It's his own fault he's drowning. Leave him there. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted October 1, 2013 Report Share Posted October 1, 2013 A: It's his own fault he's drowning. Leave him there. Q - What phrase was allegedly excised from the Gospel of Matthew, chapter 14 verses 28-31? A - You're going straight to the fiery realm of Hades for that, you know. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Asperion Posted October 2, 2013 Report Share Posted October 2, 2013 A - You're going straight to the fiery realm of Hades for that, you know. Q: Why is Pyro looking so happy? A: Galacticus' Burping. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted October 2, 2013 Report Share Posted October 2, 2013 A: Galacticus' Burping. Q - What caused those destructive coronal mass emissions? A - Let them eat Justice! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted October 2, 2013 Report Share Posted October 2, 2013 A - Let them eat Justice! Q: What did La superhéroïne bien-pensants avec les gros seins say to get herself guillotined on Bastille Day? A: I finally have my cake! Now I can eat it! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cancer Posted October 2, 2013 Report Share Posted October 2, 2013 A: I finally have my cake! Now I can eat it! Q: OK, now you have certainty that the cake is not a lie. Now what? A: In this context, "yellow cake" means something completely different. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted October 2, 2013 Report Share Posted October 2, 2013 A: In this context, "yellow cake" means something completely different. Q: What do you mean this uranium won;t work in your bomb? I got the recipe from Betty Crocker! A: There are a lot of fine, upstanding idiots in the world who are producive citizens, so I don't really have words to describe YOU. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Asperion Posted October 3, 2013 Report Share Posted October 3, 2013 A: There are a lot of fine, upstanding idiots in the world who are producive citizens, so I don't really have words to describe YOU. Q: So, Loki, the family consueling with your brother Thor is not really working, huh? A: zippty-doo-dah Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cancer Posted October 3, 2013 Report Share Posted October 3, 2013 A: zippty-doo-dah Q: So what's the total content in all the public posturing this time? A: There's reason in treason, but right in the middle of patriotism there's a riot. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted October 3, 2013 Report Share Posted October 3, 2013 A:: There's reason in treason, but right in the middle of patriotism there's a riot. Q: What's the real reason the Tea Party wants to close down the philosphy department? A: Nobody smarter than I am has any business being in politics! Now, has anybody seen my glue? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Asperion Posted October 3, 2013 Report Share Posted October 3, 2013 A: Nobody smarter than I am has any business being in politics! Now, has anybody seen my glue? Q: Congradulations on graduating kindergarden. Is there anythinbg that you would like for us? A: The walk-a-thon to nowhere. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted October 4, 2013 Report Share Posted October 4, 2013 A: The walk-a-thon to nowhere. Q - What's the [insert Party name here]'s latest plan to end the government shutdown? A - Candy. Lots and lots of candy. And a live platypus. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted October 4, 2013 Report Share Posted October 4, 2013 A - Candy. Lots and lots of candy. And a live platypus. Q: Yes, Mr. Boehner, I know you hate Obamacare, but have YOU got a better idea? A: You're trying to confuse me! And doing a very good job of it, too! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted October 5, 2013 Report Share Posted October 5, 2013 A: You're trying to confuse me! And doing a very good job of it, too! Q - Until you determine the eigenvalue of this wavefunction, you will not be able to predict the location and/or energy of the electron in question. Got it? A - Not a doubt in my mind. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted October 5, 2013 Report Share Posted October 5, 2013 A - Not a doubt in my mind. Q: You really believe everything Fox News tells you about the shutdown? A: Everything's been downhill on the farm since the livestock formed a union. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Asperion Posted October 6, 2013 Report Share Posted October 6, 2013 A: Everything's been downhill on the farm since the livestock formed a union. Q: So, what makes you think PETA has been by? A: Welcome to Planet Fez. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted October 6, 2013 Report Share Posted October 6, 2013 A: Welcome to Planet Fez. Q - Is EVERYONE here a Shriner? A - Do the right thing for once. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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