clnicholsusa Posted July 25, 2018 Report Share Posted July 25, 2018 On 7/19/2018 at 8:45 AM, Michael Hopcroft said: A: Of all the people to play the Super Bowl Halftime Show, I wouldn't have expected Babymetal. Q: I read about it but didn't see it, so tell me, how does a wardrobe malfunction involve a diaper? A: The true value of a human being is determined primarily by the measure and the sense in which he has attained liberation from the self. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cancer Posted July 25, 2018 Report Share Posted July 25, 2018 8 hours ago, clnicholsusa said: A: The true value of a human being is determined primarily by the measure and the sense in which he has attained liberation from the self. Q: Why does this course involve labs that induce out-of-body experiences and a series of pop quizzes designed to scare the students out of their skin? A: Thirty-seven knots, and half of those are sheepshanks. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted July 25, 2018 Report Share Posted July 25, 2018 7 hours ago, Cancer said: A: Thirty-seven knots, and half of those are sheepshanks. Q: So many nautical terms! How am I ever going to keep track? A: You won and she chose you, and she loved you, and she's gone. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Asperion Posted July 26, 2018 Report Share Posted July 26, 2018 18 hours ago, Michael Hopcroft said: Q: So many nautical terms! How am I ever going to keep track? A: You won and she chose you, and she loved you, and she's gone. Q: So you gained your business, car, home, and fortune. Why are you so distraught that she is now gone? A: Time for our secret weapon - Bring out the Gungans! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted July 26, 2018 Report Share Posted July 26, 2018 26 minutes ago, Asperion said: A: Time for our secret weapon - Bring out the Gungans! Q: Looks like we've run out of plague victims. What are we going to put on the cart now? A: My future used to look like one single, obvious stream, unbending 'til the end of time. In an instant, you pulled me from that destiny, and opened my eye to an explosion of infinite possible futures, streaking across space and time, altered and obliterated by the smallest force of will! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted July 28, 2018 Report Share Posted July 28, 2018 On 7/26/2018 at 10:44 AM, Michael Hopcroft said: A: My future used to look like one single, obvious stream, unbending 'til the end of time. In an instant, you pulled me from that destiny, and opened my eye to an explosion of infinite possible futures, streaking across space and time, altered and obliterated by the smallest force of will! Q: Look, I know I broke up with you, but why can't we still be friends? A: Try one of the seven women you had on the side, you cheating b@st@rd! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
clnicholsusa Posted July 29, 2018 Report Share Posted July 29, 2018 8 hours ago, Pariah said: A: Try one of the seven women you had on the side, you cheating b@st@rd! Q: But, Mina, why wouldn't you want to live forever by my side? A: Dracula's 120th anniversary was last year, besides, it's too late to suck the life blood from American democracy. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted July 29, 2018 Report Share Posted July 29, 2018 16 hours ago, clnicholsusa said: A: Dracula's 120th anniversary was last year, besides, it's too late to suck the life blood from American democracy. Q: Why do you want to go to the Republican rally dressed like a werewolf? A: I could protect you from them, but you'll have to get someone else to protect you from me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Asperion Posted July 31, 2018 Report Share Posted July 31, 2018 On 7/29/2018 at 10:56 AM, Michael Hopcroft said: Q: Why do you want to go to the Republican rally dressed like a werewolf? A: I could protect you from them, but you'll have to get someone else to protect you from me. Q: Why are you taking a protection deal from Lex Luthor? A: No, there are NO superhumans from other planets. Now go back to bed. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted August 2, 2018 Report Share Posted August 2, 2018 On 7/30/2018 at 6:33 PM, Asperion said: A: No, there are NO superhumans from other planets. Now go back to bed. Q: Mommy! Daddy! Let me sleep with you tonightI had a bad dream about Yellow Lanterns, and I'm scared! A: You need to get that out of your system and into my system! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
clnicholsusa Posted August 2, 2018 Report Share Posted August 2, 2018 1 hour ago, Michael Hopcroft said: A: You need to get that out of your system and into my system! Q: Did you hear what Alpha Centauri said about Pluto? A: I don't care what they said, Mickey's mutt stays off the bed or he's sleeping in the yard! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted August 2, 2018 Report Share Posted August 2, 2018 12 hours ago, clnicholsusa said: A: I don't care what they said, Mickey's mutt stays off the bed or he's sleeping in the yard! Q: What is Donald's most innocuous complaint when house-sitting at Disneyland? A: Now she says she needs affection while she searches for the vein. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tkdguy Posted August 2, 2018 Report Share Posted August 2, 2018 4 minutes ago, Michael Hopcroft said: Q: What is Donald's most innocuous complaint when house-sitting at Disneyland? A: Now she says she needs affection while she searches for the vein. Q: Why are you complaining about your vampire girlfriend this time? A: It's the wrong time of year for that stuff! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted August 2, 2018 Report Share Posted August 2, 2018 Just now, tkdguy said: A: It's the wrong time of year for that stuff! Q: Now that the Fourth of July sales are over, I think it's time for this mall to set up Santaland! A: The stockings were hung by the mantle with care in hopes that old Lucifer soon would be there. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted August 4, 2018 Report Share Posted August 4, 2018 On 8/2/2018 at 11:56 AM, Michael Hopcroft said: A: The stockings were hung by the mantle with care in hopes that old Lucifer soon would be there. Q: Do you expect me to believe that there is literally a book titled The Christmas Story from Hell? A: That would explain why you don't have any, I suppose. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
clnicholsusa Posted August 4, 2018 Report Share Posted August 4, 2018 46 minutes ago, Pariah said: A: That would explain why you don't have any, I suppose. Q: Who would have thought you could eat a dozen chimichangas in under five minutes? A: He flies with flatulence, has the weight and strength of four normal men, and has halitosis that overcomes any humanoid within five feet. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cancer Posted August 4, 2018 Report Share Posted August 4, 2018 3 hours ago, clnicholsusa said: A: He flies with flatulence, has the weight and strength of four normal men, and has halitosis that overcomes any humanoid within five feet. Q: Stink-Bulk? What sort of superhero concept is that? A: He only thinks everyone despises him. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted August 4, 2018 Report Share Posted August 4, 2018 10 hours ago, Cancer said: A: He only thinks everyone despises him. Q: How is Rodney Dangerfield different than President Trump? A: Yep, that's a whoopin'. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted August 4, 2018 Report Share Posted August 4, 2018 53 minutes ago, Pariah said: A: Yep, that's a whoopin'. Q: That cough sounds terrible! Is it really that bad? A: You have to remember your lines if you want to win a Tony! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lucius Posted August 5, 2018 Report Share Posted August 5, 2018 7 hours ago, Michael Hopcroft said: A: You have to remember your lines if you want to win a Tony! Q: I forget, what's the mathematical concept of something that extends infinitely in one and only one dimension? A; It was on fire when I laid down on it Lucius Alexander The palindromedary thinks I should give this more thought.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted August 5, 2018 Report Share Posted August 5, 2018 18 hours ago, Lucius said: A; It was on fire when I laid down on it Q: Finn, what were you doing in the Flame Princess' room anyway? A: I shouldn't have to be the one that makes up with you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Asperion Posted August 7, 2018 Report Share Posted August 7, 2018 On 8/5/2018 at 1:08 PM, Michael Hopcroft said: Q: Finn, what were you doing in the Flame Princess' room anyway? A: I shouldn't have to be the one that makes up with you. Q: I only came here for your business license. What made you think anything else? A: When I said I wanted a boom, that was not what I had in mind. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cancer Posted August 7, 2018 Report Share Posted August 7, 2018 9 minutes ago, Asperion said: A: When I said I wanted a boom, that was not what I had in mind. Q: How's it feel to be the first in your neighborhood to own a pair of nitrocellulose jeans? A: Rapid reports are not necessarily the way to stay informed. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
clnicholsusa Posted August 7, 2018 Report Share Posted August 7, 2018 2 minutes ago, Cancer said: A: Rapid reports are not necessarily the way to stay informed. Q: What's wrong with lighting the whole string of crackers at once? A: You'll need a lot of milk for those. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted August 7, 2018 Report Share Posted August 7, 2018 1 hour ago, clnicholsusa said: A: You'll need a lot of milk for those. Q: You mean the Nabisco truck jackknifed and spilled its entire cargo of Oreos? A: Call me Nutter Butter one more time and you're dead! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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