Pariah Posted August 7, 2018 Report Share Posted August 7, 2018 43 minutes ago, Michael Hopcroft said: A: Call me Nutter Butter one more time and you're dead! Q: What makes you think former US President Jimmy Carter is no longer pacifist? A: You're 300 million years too late, I'm afraid. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted August 7, 2018 Report Share Posted August 7, 2018 9 hours ago, Pariah said: A: You're 300 million years too late, I'm afraid. Q: Mommy, why can't I have a pet Dimetrodon? A: Now it's time to leave the Capsule if you dare. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lucius Posted August 8, 2018 Report Share Posted August 8, 2018 11 hours ago, Michael Hopcroft said: A: Now it's time to leave the Capsule if you dare. Q: If those reporters are missing any shirts what makes them think I took them? A: Here am I sitting in a tin can Lucius Alexander Palindromedary Oddity Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Asperion Posted August 8, 2018 Report Share Posted August 8, 2018 1 hour ago, Lucius said: Q: If those reporters are missing any shirts what makes them think I took them? A: Here am I sitting in a tin can Lucius Alexander Palindromedary Oddity Q: You wanted to make your home impervious to most forms of damage. Just exactly what did you go for? A: One must never look into that mirror. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
clnicholsusa Posted August 8, 2018 Report Share Posted August 8, 2018 3 minutes ago, Asperion said: A: One must never look into that mirror. Q: Did you know there are pools of mercury on the surface of Venus as smooth as glass? A: Doesn't look that good to me, but I've an arm fetish. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lucius Posted August 8, 2018 Report Share Posted August 8, 2018 3 minutes ago, clnicholsusa said: A: Doesn't look that good to me, but I've an arm fetish. Q: Why did you take down this lovely landscape painting and put up a poster showing a lot of guns? A: Not all those who wander are lost Lucius Alexander Palindromedary Enterprises Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted August 8, 2018 Report Share Posted August 8, 2018 9 hours ago, Lucius said: A: Not all those who wander are lost Q: Mr. Brown isn't back from his walk. Think he's forgotten the way home? A: For some reason, I can never remember where I live. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
clnicholsusa Posted August 8, 2018 Report Share Posted August 8, 2018 6 hours ago, Michael Hopcroft said: A: For some reason, I can never remember where I live. Q: What do the free hermit crabs in the mall kiosks think about all day? A: Being still and doing nothing are two very different things. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted August 11, 2018 Report Share Posted August 11, 2018 On 8/8/2018 at 2:12 PM, clnicholsusa said: A: Being still and doing nothing are two very different things. Q: You've just been standing there for three hours, and now you're telling me your meditations have resulted in the Unified Field Theory? A: The problem eluded Einstein for thirty years. You now have 72 hours to solve it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lucius Posted August 11, 2018 Report Share Posted August 11, 2018 1 hour ago, Michael Hopcroft said: A: The problem eluded Einstein for thirty years. You now have 72 hours to solve it. Q: WHAT did you say we have to do to convince the aliens that we're people to be respected, not vermin to be exterminated?? A: I don't think they're all of a single species. I'm not sure they're all from the same universe! Lucius Alexnder Answering a palindromedary's questions Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted August 11, 2018 Report Share Posted August 11, 2018 9 minutes ago, Lucius said: A: I don't think they're all of a single species. I'm not sure they're all from the same universe! Q: What do you know about the new TARDIS crew? A: I didn't know you had a Moonbase. Take me to your Moonbase! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
clnicholsusa Posted August 11, 2018 Report Share Posted August 11, 2018 3 minutes ago, Michael Hopcroft said: A: I didn't know you had a Moonbase. Take me to your Moonbase! Q: What part of 'all your base are belong to us' did you not understand? A: I've been applying differential calculus to the chemical formula for mustard gas, it makes a great muffin. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted August 13, 2018 Report Share Posted August 13, 2018 On 8/11/2018 at 10:13 AM, clnicholsusa said: A: I've been applying differential calculus to the chemical formula for mustard gas, it makes a great muffin. Q: The students in Mrs. Shamnovsky's Home Ec class are all dying horribly and painfully! As Principal of PS 177, I demand to know what you did! A: There are days when I'm so brilliant I even shock myself! This is not one of those days. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Asperion Posted August 14, 2018 Report Share Posted August 14, 2018 On 8/12/2018 at 8:10 PM, Michael Hopcroft said: Q: The students in Mrs. Shamnovsky's Home Ec class are all dying horribly and painfully! As Principal of PS 177, I demand to know what you did! A: There are days when I'm so brilliant I even shock myself! This is not one of those days. Q: Mr. Dwibly, why are you not going on with your wacked out mechanations? A: That was a polite thief. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted August 15, 2018 Report Share Posted August 15, 2018 15 hours ago, Asperion said: A: That was a polite thief. Q: Why is there a "Thank You" note in my now-empty safe? A: You do it for Her -- that is to say, you do it for Him. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted August 15, 2018 Report Share Posted August 15, 2018 2 minutes ago, Michael Hopcroft said: A: You do it for Her -- that is to say, you do it for Him. Q: Are you telling me that we have a hermaphroditic monarch? A: I guess the good news is that if this attempt goes badly, you'll never have to worry about doing it again. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cancer Posted August 16, 2018 Report Share Posted August 16, 2018 13 hours ago, Pariah said: A: I guess the good news is that if this attempt goes badly, you'll never have to worry about doing it again. Q: I'm going to try making nuclear energy by rubbing two bricks of plutonium togeter! Whaddaya think? A: Where there's smoke, there's an Air Quality Alert. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted August 16, 2018 Report Share Posted August 16, 2018 1 minute ago, Cancer said: A: Where there's smoke, there's an Air Quality Alert. Q: And why again does the Administration want to defund the Emergency Broadcast System? A: The problem isn't that the top 1% control 90% of all wealth. The problem is that one man doesn't control all of it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
clnicholsusa Posted August 16, 2018 Report Share Posted August 16, 2018 38 minutes ago, Michael Hopcroft said: A: The problem isn't that the top 1% control 90% of all wealth. The problem is that one man doesn't control all of it. Q: I missed the last state of the union address. What was it he said? A: According to my notes, the average IQ of any given nation is inversely proportional to the wealth gap of that nation. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted August 16, 2018 Report Share Posted August 16, 2018 12 hours ago, clnicholsusa said: A: According to my notes, the average IQ of any given nation is inversely proportional to the wealth gap of that nation. Q: What did you say in that term paper that got you expelled from Liberty University? A: At least it wasn't Oral Roberts. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lucius Posted August 16, 2018 Report Share Posted August 16, 2018 6 hours ago, Michael Hopcroft said: A: At least it wasn't Oral Roberts. Q: Why is your diploma signed by Ronald McDonald? A: No, but if you hum a few bars I can fake it Lucius Alexander Questioning a palindromedary's answers Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted August 17, 2018 Report Share Posted August 17, 2018 41 minutes ago, Lucius said: A: No, but if you hum a few bars I can fake it Q: Do you know Malakovsky's Concerto for Kazoo and Pogo Sticks in Q-flat Minor? A: I couldn't decide between writing an opera and writing a rock-and-roll album, so I combined them in a blender. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lucius Posted August 17, 2018 Report Share Posted August 17, 2018 11 minutes ago, Michael Hopcroft said: Q: Do you know Malakovsky's Concerto for Kazoo and Pogo Sticks in Q-flat Minor? 11 minutes ago, Michael Hopcroft said: A: I couldn't decide between writing an opera and writing a rock-and-roll album, so I combined them in a blender. Q: Malakovsky, how did you come to compose a concerto for kazoo and pogo sticks in Q flat minor? A: There's nothing in the rulebook that says an elephant can't play Lucius Alexander What about a palindromedary? Pariah 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted August 17, 2018 Report Share Posted August 17, 2018 11 minutes ago, Lucius said: A: There's nothing in the rulebook that says an elephant can't play. Q: What do you mean, we're playing the Green Bay Pachyderms? A: Given a choice, I think I'm going to have to go with Cleveland. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
clnicholsusa Posted August 17, 2018 Report Share Posted August 17, 2018 2 hours ago, Pariah said: A: Given a choice, I think I'm going to have to go with Cleveland. Q: Jonathan Harker, you must choose either to stay with me and live forever or return to your homeland and endanger ALL your loved ones, WHAT SAY YOU? A: With that and two bits, I could get a hot dog! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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