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16 hours ago, Michael Hopcroft said:

A: You are safe. Don't you struggle now. I assure you the Orcs just want to talk.

 

Q: What did those ... uh ... people mean by, "Meat's back on the menu"?

 

A: Call the waiter and ask for a clean one!

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On 7/29/2019 at 1:21 PM, Cancer said:

 

Q: What did those ... uh ... people mean by, "Meat's back on the menu"?

 

A: Call the waiter and ask for a clean one!

 

Q: We have just dealt with Ragnaroc and went to this beat-up restaurant. Now you are complaining about dirty dishes?

 

A: I just graduated from the University of Oa.

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2 hours ago, Michael Hopcroft said:

A: We're just waiting for Genghis Khan to return to bring peace to the world!

 

Q: You've got horse bows, near-total indifference to religion, and complete and willful ignorance of what machine guns did to horse cavalry in 1914.  What are you up to again?

 

A: We haven't had that spirit here since 1969.

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On 8/3/2019 at 5:50 PM, Michael Hopcroft said:

A: I'm live at Rockefeller Plaza -- well, dead, but live!

 

Q: The zombie apocalypse started in New York City?

 

A: A glass of whiskey, a gun, and two bullets.

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On August 7, 2019 at 1:11 PM, Michael Hopcroft said:

A: Remind me to fire you.

 

Q: Honey Chile, I'm just your gun: point me and I'll take care of whatever you want as long as I can be in your holster!

 

A: There are four lights!  This intersection has a protected left turn lane.

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On 8/10/2019 at 10:12 PM, Cancer said:

 

Q: Honey Chile, I'm just your gun: point me and I'll take care of whatever you want as long as I can be in your holster!

 

A: There are four lights!  This intersection has a protected left turn lane.

 

Q: What are you waiting for? There is no one else and all is clear. 

 

A: I will regret dying in the morning. 

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On 8/12/2019 at 1:23 PM, Michael Hopcroft said:

A: Chom-chom. Remember that. Chom-chom. Never say bananas again!

 

Q: What's the latest politically correct term for being a moron and bats**t insane at the same time?

 

A: By continuing to read this site, you agree that you have sold your soul to Mephistopheles.

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11 hours ago, Cancer said:

 

Q: What's the latest politically correct term for being a moron and bats**t insane at the same time?

 

A: By continuing to read this site, you agree that you have sold your soul to Mephistopheles.

Q: What does it say in Facebook's TOS?

 

A: And that's when I jumped out the second story window.

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29 minutes ago, Marcus Impudite said:

A: And that's when I jumped out the second story window.

Q:  The assailant kept saying you had no way out. Then what did you do, ma'am?

 

A: Sorry, madam, but we no longer carry honesty in our station policies. But go ahead and order that waffle iron anyway. We're good.

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14 hours ago, Michael Hopcroft said:

Q:  The assailant kept saying you had no way out. Then what did you do, ma'am?

 

A: Sorry, madam, but we no longer carry honesty in our station policies. But go ahead and order that waffle iron anyway. We're good.

 

Q: Why would you sell me this pos iron? There are no internal  components or any other way to make it work. 

 

A: I have captured Death. 

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On August 15, 2019 at 12:14 PM, Michael Hopcroft said:

A: My mother is having a hard time dealing with your existence. Maybe you should find an apartment closer to the office.

 

Q: She's been in the columbarium for five years, and she still tries to pick your friends for you?

 

A: Of course we're not monkeys!  When we disagree, we scream and throw vacuous tweets at each other!

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9 hours ago, Cancer said:

A: Of course we're not monkeys!  When we disagree, we scream and throw vacuous tweets at each other!

Q: And what is your argument against natural selection this time, Mr. Ham?

 

A: Yes, she may be an accessory to the crimes of a serial killer, but you've got to admit these meat pies are exquisite!

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8 minutes ago, Michael Hopcroft said:

 

A: Yes, she may be an accessory to the crimes of a serial killer, but you've got to admit these meat pies are exquisite!

 

Q: So why aren't you prosecuting the accomplice who disposed of the bodies?

 

A: You fool what do you think she did with those bodies!

 

Lucius Alexander

 

Feed them to a palindromedary

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On 8/18/2019 at 9:11 AM, Lucius said:

 

Q: So why aren't you prosecuting the accomplice who disposed of the bodies?

 

A: You fool what do you think she did with those bodies!

 

Lucius Alexander

 

Feed them to a palindromedary

 

Q: Why does everyone assume that I have the ultimate answer for the greatest assassination of all time?

 

A: The United States is closed. Please leave a message at the tone and never expect a call back.

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8 hours ago, Asperion said:

A: The United States is closed. Please leave a message at the tone and never expect a call back.

 

Q: < Insert gratuitous Trump Administration immigration policy remark here. >

 

A: Put that thing back where it came from, or so help me....

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On 8/20/2019 at 1:55 PM, Michael Hopcroft said:

Q: I found this at the bottom of the Pacific Ocean. Isn't it a lovely drain stopper?

 

A: A new vocabulary? Priceless.

Q: Why are you addressing me in this strange comlang?

 

A: This dragon only wants to be your friend. 

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1 hour ago, Asperion said:

Q: Why are you addressing me in this strange comlang?

 

A: This dragon only wants to be your friend. 

 

Q: Why is the dragon reaching for the ketchup?

 

A: I threw a rock at it.

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