Michael Hopcroft Posted November 29, 2019 Report Share Posted November 29, 2019 On 11/28/2019 at 8:37 AM, Cancer said: A: You can't trust the llamas either. Q: why does Alpacacorp never follow through on their business agreements? A: It doesn't matter when the game arrives. I've already got the money! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted November 29, 2019 Report Share Posted November 29, 2019 4 minutes ago, Michael Hopcroft said: A: It doesn't matter when the game arrives. I've already got the money! Q: So you're not waiting for the traveling version of Who Wants To Be A Millionaire to come to town? A: I've got 99 problems, but your grade ain't one. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted November 29, 2019 Report Share Posted November 29, 2019 4 hours ago, Pariah said: A: I've got 99 problems, but your grade ain't one. Q: Any ideas for the future, Dr. Dre, now that you have your Ph.D. in Organic Chemistry? A: They write books nobody reads for these rich folks that they try to please. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cancer Posted November 29, 2019 Report Share Posted November 29, 2019 1 hour ago, Michael Hopcroft said: A: They write books nobody reads for these rich folks that they try to please. Q: What's the role of the New Acquisitions section for the Library of Congress? A: No one, no one needs fourteen recipes for boiled cabbage. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted December 1, 2019 Report Share Posted December 1, 2019 On 11/29/2019 at 3:21 PM, Cancer said: A: No one, no one needs fourteen recipes for boiled cabbage. Q: Why won't you publish my cookbook? A: This isn't a license to print money, you know. And I should know -- I'm here from the Secret Service. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Asperion Posted December 4, 2019 Report Share Posted December 4, 2019 On 12/1/2019 at 4:38 PM, Michael Hopcroft said: Q: Why won't you publish my cookbook? A: This isn't a license to print money, you know. And I should know -- I'm here from the Secret Service. Q: Are you claiming that this parchment grants you permission to print money? It is written in pure Sumerian. A: He went to the Kenobi School of Negotiations. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted December 4, 2019 Report Share Posted December 4, 2019 1 hour ago, Asperion said: A: He went to the Kenobi School of Negotiations. Q: Well, that was resolved quickly and with a high body count. A: The difference between Rodinia and rodentia is not to be underestimated. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted December 4, 2019 Report Share Posted December 4, 2019 10 minutes ago, Pariah said: A: The difference between Rodinia and rodentia is not to be underestimated. Q: Your Majesty, the Ambassador from Rodentia has arrived. Shall I set out the cheese plate? A: Felidae is at war with Rodentia. Felidae has always been at war with Rodentia. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cancer Posted December 6, 2019 Report Share Posted December 6, 2019 On December 3, 2019 at 7:15 PM, Michael Hopcroft said: A: Felidae is at war with Rodentia. Felidae has always been at war with Rodentia. Q: Is there ANYTHING that still makes sense any more in today's massively messed-up world? A: He makes scents, not sense, and it's already pretty stinky in here. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted December 6, 2019 Report Share Posted December 6, 2019 43 minutes ago, Cancer said: A: He makes scents, not sense, and it's already pretty stinky in here. Q: Pepe is defending himself from the "Me Too"-motivated sexual harassment lawsuits in a particularly asinine way, isn't he? A: Obviously whoever that is has mastered the Cute Side of the Force. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Asperion Posted December 10, 2019 Report Share Posted December 10, 2019 On 12/5/2019 at 7:04 PM, Michael Hopcroft said: Q: Pepe is defending himself from the "Me Too"-motivated sexual harassment lawsuits in a particularly asinine way, isn't he? A: Obviously whoever that is has mastered the Cute Side of the Force. Q: Why did she enter the Death Star with all this frill, pom, and glamour? A: The Krumpus is now your patron. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted December 10, 2019 Report Share Posted December 10, 2019 19 hours ago, Asperion said: A: The Krumpus is now your patron. Q: What do you mean, I'm no longer writing exotic poetry for the Succubus? A: He has the mind of someone half his age. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lucius Posted December 11, 2019 Report Share Posted December 11, 2019 4 hours ago, Pariah said: A: He has the mind of someone half his age. Q: How did your interview go with that man claiming to be two hundred years old? A: Once again I am writing exotic poetry for the Succubus! Lucius Alexander Unquestionably a palindromedary Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cancer Posted December 11, 2019 Report Share Posted December 11, 2019 1 minute ago, Lucius said: A: Once again I am writing exotic poetry for the Succubus! Q: "Erotic haiku limericks ... with donkey"? A: I think that in terms of "presents money can't buy" ... yes, that qualifies. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted December 11, 2019 Report Share Posted December 11, 2019 2 hours ago, Cancer said: A: I think that in terms of "presents money can't buy" ... yes, that qualifies. Q: Here's the Mona Lisa. Merry Christmas, Fujiko. A: The cute thing is that he really thinks turning back time seven hours is going to help. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Asperion Posted December 12, 2019 Report Share Posted December 12, 2019 23 hours ago, Michael Hopcroft said: Q: Here's the Mona Lisa. Merry Christmas, Fujiko. A: The cute thing is that he really thinks turning back time seven hours is going to help. Q: Does he actually believe that plan for bringing back the dinosaurs is going to work? A: That is what happens when you release a dinosaur across Wall Street. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted December 12, 2019 Report Share Posted December 12, 2019 29 minutes ago, Asperion said: A: That is what happens when you release a dinosaur across Wall Street. Q: Are you saying that every high school student in New York has Atlas Shrugged as mandatory reading? A: Your right to live is less important than my right to a nice, fat dividend in the third quarter. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cancer Posted December 12, 2019 Report Share Posted December 12, 2019 11 hours ago, Michael Hopcroft said: A: Your right to live is less important than my right to a nice, fat dividend in the third quarter. Q: What's the motto of the United States Senate? A: Due to the policy of giving negative points for obvious hopeless off-topic speculation, you actually scored fewer points than the dead man. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted December 12, 2019 Report Share Posted December 12, 2019 1 hour ago, Cancer said: A: Due to the policy of giving negative points for obvious hopeless off-topic speculation, you actually scored fewer points than the dead man. Q: How did Michael Hopcroft suddenly find himself with a negative approval count? A: Yes, I always refer to myself in the third person. Saves time that way. Pariah 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted December 12, 2019 Report Share Posted December 12, 2019 56 minutes ago, Michael Hopcroft said: A: Yes, I always refer to myself in the third person. Saves time that way. Q: Wait, aren't you Michael Hopcroft? A: Well, that would be a great plan if it weren't for the laws of thermodynamics. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted December 12, 2019 Report Share Posted December 12, 2019 4 hours ago, Pariah said: A: Well, that would be a great plan if it weren't for the laws of thermodynamics. Q: All we have to is plug this perpetual motion machine into the power grid, and Voila! Free electricity for all! Isn't PG&E just gonna go green? A; Electricity too expensive to meter! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Asperion Posted December 18, 2019 Report Share Posted December 18, 2019 On 12/12/2019 at 4:19 PM, Michael Hopcroft said: Q: All we have to is plug this perpetual motion machine into the power grid, and Voila! Free electricity for all! Isn't PG&E just gonna go green? A; Electricity too expensive to meter! Q: What are you doing with all those diameters? A: That elf deals with your Klaus. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted December 20, 2019 Report Share Posted December 20, 2019 On 12/17/2019 at 4:38 PM, Asperion said: A: That elf deals with your Klaus. Q: There's been a cross-universe diplomagtic mission to Castle Wulfenbach? A: Your mission, whether you choose to accept it or not, is to survive a double feature of Rise of Skywalker and Cats and not swear off movies forever. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted December 20, 2019 Report Share Posted December 20, 2019 1 hour ago, Michael Hopcroft said: A: Your mission, whether you choose to accept it or not, is to survive a double feature of Rise of Skywalker and Cats and not swear off movies forever. Q: What's this cyanide capsule for? A: A glass of whiskey, a gun, and two bullets. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted December 21, 2019 Report Share Posted December 21, 2019 On 12/19/2019 at 8:39 PM, Pariah said: A: A glass of whiskey, a gun, and two bullets. Q: What does a chicken need when he is expecting a visit from Popeye? A: Because all the Jellicle Cats are coming out tonight, and I'm fresh out of old boots. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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