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4 minutes ago, Michael Hopcroft said:

A: It doesn't matter when the game arrives. I've already got the money!

 

Q: So you're not waiting for the traveling version of Who Wants To Be A Millionaire to come to town?

 

A: I've got 99 problems, but your grade ain't one.

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1 hour ago, Michael Hopcroft said:

A: They write books nobody reads for these rich folks that they try to please.

 

Q: What's the role of the New Acquisitions section for the Library of Congress?

 

A: No one, no one needs fourteen recipes for boiled cabbage.

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On 12/1/2019 at 4:38 PM, Michael Hopcroft said:

Q: Why won't you publish my cookbook?

 

A: This isn't a license to print money, you know. And I should know -- I'm here from the Secret Service.

 

Q: Are you claiming that this parchment grants you permission to print money? It is written in pure Sumerian.

 

A: He went to the Kenobi School of Negotiations.

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1 hour ago, Asperion said:

A: He went to the Kenobi School of Negotiations.

 

Q: Well, that was resolved quickly and with a high body count.

 

A: The difference between Rodinia and rodentia is not to be underestimated.

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On December 3, 2019 at 7:15 PM, Michael Hopcroft said:

A: Felidae is at war with Rodentia. Felidae has always been at war with Rodentia.

 

Q: Is there ANYTHING that still makes sense any more in today's massively messed-up world?

 

A: He makes scents, not sense, and it's already pretty stinky in here.

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43 minutes ago, Cancer said:

A: He makes scents, not sense, and it's already pretty stinky in here.

Q: Pepe is defending himself from the "Me Too"-motivated sexual harassment lawsuits in a particularly asinine way, isn't he?

 

A: Obviously whoever that is has mastered the Cute Side of the Force.

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On 12/5/2019 at 7:04 PM, Michael Hopcroft said:

Q: Pepe is defending himself from the "Me Too"-motivated sexual harassment lawsuits in a particularly asinine way, isn't he?

 

A: Obviously whoever that is has mastered the Cute Side of the Force.

 

Q: Why did she enter the Death Star with all this frill, pom, and glamour?

 

A: The Krumpus is now your patron.

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19 hours ago, Asperion said:

A: The Krumpus is now your patron.

 

Q: What do you mean, I'm no longer writing exotic poetry for the Succubus?

 

A: He has the mind of someone half his age.

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4 hours ago, Pariah said:

 

 

 

A: He has the mind of someone half his age.

 

Q: How did your interview go with that man claiming to be two hundred years old?

 

 

A: Once again I am writing exotic poetry for the Succubus!

 

 

Lucius Alexander

 

Unquestionably a palindromedary

 

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1 minute ago, Lucius said:

A: Once again I am writing exotic poetry for the Succubus!

 

Q: "Erotic haiku limericks ... with donkey"?

 

A: I think that in terms of "presents money can't buy" ... yes, that qualifies.

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23 hours ago, Michael Hopcroft said:

Q: Here's the Mona Lisa. Merry Christmas, Fujiko.

 

A: The cute thing is that he really thinks turning back time seven hours is going to help.

 

Q: Does he actually believe that plan for bringing back the dinosaurs is going to work?

 

A: That is what happens when you release a dinosaur across Wall Street.

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29 minutes ago, Asperion said:

A: That is what happens when you release a dinosaur across Wall Street.

Q: Are you saying that every high school student in New York has Atlas Shrugged as mandatory reading?

 

A: Your right to live is less important than my right to a nice, fat dividend in the third quarter.

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11 hours ago, Michael Hopcroft said:

A: Your right to live is less important than my right to a nice, fat dividend in the third quarter.

 

Q: What's the motto of the United States Senate?

 

A: Due to the policy of giving negative points for obvious hopeless off-topic speculation, you actually scored fewer points than the dead man.

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1 hour ago, Cancer said:

A: Due to the policy of giving negative points for obvious hopeless off-topic speculation, you actually scored fewer points than the dead man.

Q: How did Michael Hopcroft suddenly find himself with a negative approval count?

 

A: Yes, I always refer to myself in the third person. Saves time that way.

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56 minutes ago, Michael Hopcroft said:

A: Yes, I always refer to myself in the third person. Saves time that way.

 

Q: Wait, aren't you Michael Hopcroft?

 

A: Well, that would be a great plan if it weren't for the laws of thermodynamics.

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4 hours ago, Pariah said:

A: Well, that would be a great plan if it weren't for the laws of thermodynamics.

Q: All we have to is plug this perpetual motion machine into the power grid, and Voila! Free electricity for all! Isn't PG&E just gonna go green?

 

A; Electricity too expensive to meter!

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On 12/12/2019 at 4:19 PM, Michael Hopcroft said:

Q: All we have to is plug this perpetual motion machine into the power grid, and Voila! Free electricity for all! Isn't PG&E just gonna go green?

 

A; Electricity too expensive to meter!

 

Q: What are you doing with all those diameters?

 

A: That elf deals with your Klaus.

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On 12/17/2019 at 4:38 PM, Asperion said:

A: That elf deals with your Klaus.

Q: There's been a cross-universe diplomagtic mission to Castle Wulfenbach?

 

A: Your mission, whether you choose to accept it or not, is to survive a double feature of Rise of Skywalker and Cats and not swear off movies forever.

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1 hour ago, Michael Hopcroft said:

A: Your mission, whether you choose to accept it or not, is to survive a double feature of Rise of Skywalker and Cats and not swear off movies forever.

 

Q: What's this cyanide capsule for?

 

A: A glass of whiskey, a gun, and two bullets.

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