Cancer Posted January 8, 2020 Report Share Posted January 8, 2020 2 hours ago, Pariah said: A: When I want your opinion, I'll give it to you. Q: You summoned me, Mr. CEO and Chairman of the Board of Directors? A: Oh, I'm just drinking my classroom demonstration samples.* * Yes, actually, I am, as I type this. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted January 9, 2020 Report Share Posted January 9, 2020 1 hour ago, Cancer said: A: Oh, I'm just drinking my classroom demonstration samples.* Q: Today's lesson in High School Chemistry is how fermentation works, and -- what ARE you doing, Mr. Brown? A: The latest craze in alcohol is Hard Hemlock! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cancer Posted January 9, 2020 Report Share Posted January 9, 2020 43 minutes ago, Michael Hopcroft said: A: The latest craze in alcohol is Hard Hemlock! Q: What is a "Keg Bat Fight Club", and why do you drunkards meet out at the lumberyard? A: You dropped your beer! That play doesn't count! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted January 9, 2020 Report Share Posted January 9, 2020 21 hours ago, Cancer said: A: You dropped your beer! That play doesn't count! Q: Look at this! Slapshot straight to the net and ... Dang! And I paid seven bucks too! What do you say, ref? A: I know that word is a euphemism for something. I just can;t figure out what, and context is no help. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted January 16, 2020 Report Share Posted January 16, 2020 On 1/9/2020 at 3:26 PM, Michael Hopcroft said: A: I know that word is a euphemism for something. I just can't figure out what, and context is no help. Q: L. Marcus just used the word "Belgium" in a completely shameless manner! Are you going to reprimand him or something? A: I want my iridium back. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cancer Posted January 16, 2020 Report Share Posted January 16, 2020 12 minutes ago, Pariah said: A: I want my iridium back. Q: Aren't those 66 satellites all gone? A: Almost, but there are many thousands in their place. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted January 16, 2020 Report Share Posted January 16, 2020 43 minutes ago, Cancer said: A: Almost, but there are many thousands in their place. Q: Has the radiation blast killed all the cancer cells? A: I'll tell you everything about the living thing! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Asperion Posted January 20, 2020 Report Share Posted January 20, 2020 On 1/16/2020 at 2:10 PM, Michael Hopcroft said: Q: Has the radiation blast killed all the cancer cells? A: I'll tell you everything about the living thing! Q: What did Sarumon tell you just before you lost the Ring? A: The answer - when the world starts. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted January 21, 2020 Report Share Posted January 21, 2020 19 hours ago, Asperion said: A: The answer - when the world starts. Q: Why can't I get this time machine to work, and when will it? A: In Seattle, Kraken releases You. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted January 21, 2020 Report Share Posted January 21, 2020 Q: So Attorney General Kraken isn't going to prosecute you for trying to BASE jump off the Space Needle? A: I'd rather have a pre-frontal lobotomy than a free bottle in front of me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted January 21, 2020 Report Share Posted January 21, 2020 3 hours ago, Pariah said: A: I'd rather have a pre-frontal lobotomy than a free bottle in front of me. Q: Do you want this bottle of Wild Turkey, or do you want me to cut off your eyes and nose? A: It seems the only way from here is a diagonal path of 18 degrees with a left turn at Albuquerque and a right at Pismo Beach. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Asperion Posted January 23, 2020 Report Share Posted January 23, 2020 On 1/21/2020 at 2:29 PM, Michael Hopcroft said: Q: Do you want this bottle of Wild Turkey, or do you want me to cut off your eyes and nose? A: It seems the only way from here is a diagonal path of 18 degrees with a left turn at Albuquerque and a right at Pismo Beach. Q: What is the best way that one can get out of here? A: That was meant to keep all out. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bazza Posted January 23, 2020 Report Share Posted January 23, 2020 Q: Do you leave the keys in the Watergate? A: There is wall out there saying slow down son...I hit the wall and the wall won. Michael Hopcroft 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted January 23, 2020 Report Share Posted January 23, 2020 Q: How did you end up in a full-body cast?! A: That's not even remotely what I had in mind. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bazza Posted January 23, 2020 Report Share Posted January 23, 2020 Q: Am I doing this right? A: This is my second one. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cancer Posted January 23, 2020 Report Share Posted January 23, 2020 Q: You were told to write out eleven billion, one hundred and eleven million, one hundred and eleven thousand and two in standard Arabic numerals. How are you doing on that? A: More than some. More than lots, even! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted January 23, 2020 Report Share Posted January 23, 2020 25 minutes ago, Cancer said: A: More than some. More than lots, even! Q: Where does Foxbat stand in terms of number of harebrained supervillain schemes? A: Lost in the woods. And not in a good way. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted January 23, 2020 Report Share Posted January 23, 2020 2 hours ago, Pariah said: A: Lost in the woods. And not in a good way. Q: How's your plan to hold a J.J. Abrams festival at Redwood National Park going? A: Peelings. Nothing more than Peelings. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cancer Posted January 24, 2020 Report Share Posted January 24, 2020 5 hours ago, Michael Hopcroft said: A: Peelings. Nothing more than Peelings. Q: You spent all of 1975 on K.P., and what did you get out of it? A: No, Barbra, I really don't care about the way we were, so shut up about it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted January 24, 2020 Report Share Posted January 24, 2020 18 hours ago, Cancer said: A: No, Barbra, I really don't care about the way we were, so shut up about it. Q: How do you know your relationship with Barbra is on the rocks? A: Excuse me while I kiss this frog, and do several other things to him as well. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Asperion Posted January 29, 2020 Report Share Posted January 29, 2020 On 1/24/2020 at 1:39 PM, Michael Hopcroft said: Q: How do you know your relationship with Barbra is on the rocks? A: Excuse me while I kiss this frog, and do several other things to him as well. Q: What makes one believe that Princess Tiana is into bestiality? A: That is one nasty chip on your shoulder. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted January 29, 2020 Report Share Posted January 29, 2020 3 hours ago, Asperion said: A: That is one nasty chip on your shoulder. Q: What have you done with Dale, you monster? A: I know you're a renowned fanfiction writer, but you're taking self-insertion entirely too far. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted January 29, 2020 Report Share Posted January 29, 2020 Q: In my latest work I am a sparkly vampire, a Jedi knight, a superhero, and the girlfriend of a rich guy who's into some really, really kinky stuff. What do you think of it? A: It's not the end of the world, it's just the intermission. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bazza Posted January 29, 2020 Report Share Posted January 29, 2020 Q: What to look forward to with Trump’s second term? A: Three eggs, a doughnut and a book. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted January 29, 2020 Report Share Posted January 29, 2020 5 minutes ago, Bazza said: A: Three eggs, a doughnut and a book. Q: What, exactly, were you hoping to throw at the President? A: She's not buying a stairway to Heaven; she's only leasing. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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