Lucius Posted January 30, 2020 Report Share Posted January 30, 2020 4 hours ago, Pariah said: A: She's not buying a stairway to Heaven; she's only leasing. Q: When she gets there who knows, if the stores are all closed, with a word will she get what she came for? A: The Piper's calling you to join Him Lucius Alexander In my thoughts I have seen a palindromedary Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted January 30, 2020 Report Share Posted January 30, 2020 1 hour ago, Lucius said: A: The Piper's calling you to join Him Q: Say, ol' Fellow Rat Buddy, what's that supernaturally compelling song? A: You were so worried about the tiger's teeth you forgot all about his claws. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cancer Posted February 3, 2020 Report Share Posted February 3, 2020 On January 29, 2020 at 7:55 PM, Michael Hopcroft said: A: You were so worried about the tiger's teeth you forgot all about his claws. Q: Hey Doc, forget the puncture wounds; what should I do about a matched quintet of parallel lacerations? A: ... and comfort to the enemy. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Asperion Posted February 4, 2020 Report Share Posted February 4, 2020 On 2/2/2020 at 11:31 PM, Cancer said: Q: Hey Doc, forget the puncture wounds; what should I do about a matched quintet of parallel lacerations? A: ... and comfort to the enemy. Q: Hawkeye, why are you making all those care packages for the North Koreans? A: That is the Endor plan. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted February 4, 2020 Report Share Posted February 4, 2020 21 minutes ago, Asperion said: A: That is the Endor plan. Q: So we're going to use our fleet's blasters to burn down those forests and everything in them before we start on setting up that force field generator? A: Your reputation as this generation's great wit is half deserved. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cancer Posted February 4, 2020 Report Share Posted February 4, 2020 2 minutes ago, Michael Hopcroft said: A: Your reputation as this generation's great wit is half deserved. Q: HA! I am the editor of The Globally Complete Collection of Knock Knock Jokes. Will you fall down and worship me now? A: That joke is so old, everyone has forgotten it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted February 5, 2020 Report Share Posted February 5, 2020 5 hours ago, Cancer said: A: That joke is so old, everyone has forgotten it. Q: And that, my friends, in about sevean hundred ior so words, is why the chicken crossed the road. Clear? A: let's see a chicken cross THIS road, suckers! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Asperion Posted February 13, 2020 Report Share Posted February 13, 2020 On 2/4/2020 at 9:28 PM, Michael Hopcroft said: Q: And that, my friends, in about sevean hundred ior so words, is why the chicken crossed the road. Clear? A: let's see a chicken cross THIS road, suckers! Q: What are we doing here? This is a road made of flowing lava. A: When Death dies. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cancer Posted February 13, 2020 Report Share Posted February 13, 2020 2 hours ago, Asperion said: A: When Death dies. Q: So when will we get personal immortality for all? A: I don't know about a perpetual motion machine, but we can give you perpetually moving machinations. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted February 15, 2020 Report Share Posted February 15, 2020 On 2/12/2020 at 8:56 PM, Cancer said: A: I don't know about a perpetual motion machine, but we can give you perpetually moving machinations. Q: Can I break the Laws of Thermodynamics at the Xanatos Industries Lab? A: I am Vengeance. I am the Night. I -- could really use a good stiff drink right about now. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
clnicholsusa Posted February 16, 2020 Report Share Posted February 16, 2020 On 2/14/2020 at 10:52 PM, Michael Hopcroft said: A: I am Vengeance. I am the Night. I -- could really use a good stiff drink right about now. Q: What was Dan Aykroyd saying about those skull-shaped bottles? A: H.P.'s penmanship is so bad I can't tell if this is his new manuscript or the notes from last night's performance of Othello. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted February 16, 2020 Report Share Posted February 16, 2020 1 minute ago, clnicholsusa said: A: H.P.'s penmanship is so bad I can't tell if this is his new manuscript or the notes from last night's performance of Othello. Q: Didn't anyone tell him there were no typewriters in 1610 before he got into that time machine? A: I went off to fight in the Hundred Years' War and they signed me up for the duration. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tkdguy Posted February 17, 2020 Report Share Posted February 17, 2020 9 hours ago, Michael Hopcroft said: Q: Didn't anyone tell him there were no typewriters in 1610 before he got into that time machine? A: I went off to fight in the Hundred Years' War and they signed me up for the duration. Q: So how did the job fair go? A: Whenever the mood takes me, I just have to play along. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted February 18, 2020 Report Share Posted February 18, 2020 On 2/16/2020 at 5:42 PM, tkdguy said: A: Whenever the mood takes me, I just have to play along. Q: So, Hal, why does your power ring keep changing colors? A: Hey, I've got an idea -- let's forget this ring business and go sightseeing! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cancer Posted February 18, 2020 Report Share Posted February 18, 2020 1 hour ago, Michael Hopcroft said: A: Hey, I've got an idea -- let's forget this ring business and go sightseeing! Q: What do mean, "Hey, let's go check out Khand", Frodo? A: Shelob has other ideas. tkdguy 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Asperion Posted February 19, 2020 Report Share Posted February 19, 2020 20 hours ago, Cancer said: Q: What do mean, "Hey, let's go check out Khand", Frodo? A: Shelob has other ideas. Q: Why is there this sticky webby mess everywhere? A: There was a Flash visit. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted February 19, 2020 Report Share Posted February 19, 2020 3 hours ago, Asperion said: A: There was a Flash visit. Q: Why is everyone standing awe-struck yelling "AH-ah!"? A: Nothing but a man who can never fail. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cancer Posted February 20, 2020 Report Share Posted February 20, 2020 22 hours ago, Michael Hopcroft said: A: Nothing but a man who can never fail. Q: What do you call a guy who has bulletproof blackmail materials about his professor? A: I call it Penne al Polonium. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted February 20, 2020 Report Share Posted February 20, 2020 49 minutes ago, Cancer said: A: I call it Penne al Polonium. Q: What is this fabulous dish you've created for the Commissioner of baseball? A: Keep your head down, mate. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Asperion Posted February 20, 2020 Report Share Posted February 20, 2020 1 hour ago, Pariah said: Q: What is this fabulous dish you've created for the Commissioner of baseball? A: Keep your head down, mate. Q: With all these low beams, how is someone supposed to get around here? A: Land of the never born fruit. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
clnicholsusa Posted February 21, 2020 Report Share Posted February 21, 2020 On 2/19/2020 at 9:39 PM, Asperion said: A: Land of the never born fruit. Q: What do you call this place, other than your seedy, little apartment? A: Just my luck, the only airbnb's at my destination are in a tent city. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted February 21, 2020 Report Share Posted February 21, 2020 6 hours ago, clnicholsusa said: A: Just my luck, the only airbnb's at my destination are in a tent city. Q: Planning for your trip to Yellowstone isn't going so well, is it? A: Yogi has it better than a millionaire! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted February 21, 2020 Report Share Posted February 21, 2020 3 hours ago, Michael Hopcroft said: A: Yogi has it better than a millionaire! Q: Why would you choose being a yoga master over being a tycoon? A: That makes even less sense than Sharknado. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted February 22, 2020 Report Share Posted February 22, 2020 19 hours ago, Pariah said: A: That makes even less sense than Sharknado. Q: So you've watched the latest debates. Have you got an opinion on them? A: If you're offended by where the movie was made, you'll be even more offended if you've actually seen it. Pariah 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cancer Posted February 26, 2020 Report Share Posted February 26, 2020 On February 22, 2020 at 5:56 AM, Michael Hopcroft said: A: If you're offended by where the movie was made, you'll be even more offended if you've actually seen it. Q: Why'd you write such a scathing review of Jailbait Babysitters of Kandahar? A: The torpedoes are running. Running scared. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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