Michael Hopcroft Posted February 26, 2020 Report Share Posted February 26, 2020 1 hour ago, Cancer said: A: The torpedoes are running. Running scared. Q: What's that sound of "I DON'T WANT TO EXPLODE TODAY!" we're hearing on our sonar? A: The world is insane. You are even more insane if you expect it to make sense! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheDude2371 Posted February 28, 2020 Report Share Posted February 28, 2020 On 2/26/2020 at 11:05 AM, Michael Hopcroft said: Q: What's that sound of "I DON'T WANT TO EXPLODE TODAY!" we're hearing on our sonar? A: The world is insane. You are even more insane if you expect it to make sense! Q: What's your take on this evolution, Gunny? A: Frankly, Susan, if this is your best... maybe you oughta keep it to yourself... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted March 2, 2020 Report Share Posted March 2, 2020 On 2/28/2020 at 1:36 PM, TheDude2371 said: A: Frankly, Susan, if this is your best... maybe you oughta keep it to yourself... Q: How do you like my cake? Two tiny patties of chocolate with a layer of cream made from cheap vanlonaa oil in the middle! A: It doesn't matter how many people this disease wipes out if they're the right people. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted March 11, 2020 Report Share Posted March 11, 2020 Bump. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cancer Posted March 11, 2020 Report Share Posted March 11, 2020 On 3/1/2020 at 7:41 PM, Michael Hopcroft said: A: It doesn't matter how many people this disease wipes out if they're the right people. Q: So, Gospodin Commissar For Public Health, what is the official Gatchistani policy vis-a-vis COVID-19? A: You call it a mash-up of Tom & Jerry and Donkey Kong. We are obliged to call it Physics 1221, Mechanics Lab, During COVID-19 Restrictions. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Asperion Posted March 11, 2020 Report Share Posted March 11, 2020 19 hours ago, Cancer said: Q: So, Gospodin Commissar For Public Health, what is the official Gatchistani policy vis-a-vis COVID-19? A: You call it a mash-up of Tom & Jerry and Donkey Kong. We are obliged to call it Physics 1221, Mechanics Lab, During COVID-19 Restrictions. Q: Why are all the physics students wearing full body suits and playing video games? A: I resent that! I play hard for my money! 👯. 💁 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted March 12, 2020 Report Share Posted March 12, 2020 2 hours ago, Asperion said: A: I resent that! I play hard for my money! 👯. 💁 Q: What would a pro athlete say if you called him a over-entitled, lazy bum? A: This must be an awful time to be a bank teller. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted March 13, 2020 Report Share Posted March 13, 2020 On 3/11/2020 at 8:33 PM, Michael Hopcroft said: A: This must be an awful time to be a bank teller. Q: Did you know that one of the most notorious vectors for transmitting disease is hard currency? A: No, we've canceled that, too. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cancer Posted March 13, 2020 Report Share Posted March 13, 2020 3 hours ago, Pariah said: A: No, we've canceled that, too. Q: So how does a horny 15-year-old lose their virginity under these conditions?!? A: Easy for you say, old man. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted March 15, 2020 Report Share Posted March 15, 2020 On 3/13/2020 at 2:51 PM, Cancer said: A: Easy for you say, old man. Q: Don't you know that in the good old days we didn't get communicable diseases! Except for measles. Well, whooping cough. And polio, mumps, and tuberculosis. I guess we had a lot of communicable diseases. But at least it weeded out the weaklings, and that's good, right? A: Even the lucky ones who survived the Black Death in the 14th century are gone now! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Asperion Posted March 18, 2020 Report Share Posted March 18, 2020 On 3/15/2020 at 12:24 PM, Michael Hopcroft said: Q: Don't you know that in the good old days we didn't get communicable diseases! Except for measles. Well, whooping cough. And polio, mumps, and tuberculosis. I guess we had a lot of communicable diseases. But at least it weeded out the weaklings, and that's good, right? A: Even the lucky ones who survived the Black Death in the 14th century are gone now! Q: What is this strange specialist that you are looking for? A: That is the only true path. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tkdguy Posted March 18, 2020 Report Share Posted March 18, 2020 55 minutes ago, Asperion said: Q: What is this strange specialist that you are looking for? A: That is the only true path. Q: Where is that elvish ship sailing to? A: It will only work if you really, really want it to work. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted March 18, 2020 Report Share Posted March 18, 2020 10 minutes ago, tkdguy said: A: It will only work if you really, really want it to work. Q: Hey, Doc Marsuvius! When I bought this pixie dust you swore it would cure all my ills, and now I've got coronavirus! Who do you think I am, some kind of mark? A: So what if I'm a stupid idiot? That's the best kind! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted March 18, 2020 Report Share Posted March 18, 2020 37 minutes ago, Michael Hopcroft said: A: So what if I'm a stupid idiot? That's the best kind! Q: < insert gratuitous Donald Trump coronavirus comment here > A: In two weeks, it'll be worth even more than toilet paper! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted March 18, 2020 Report Share Posted March 18, 2020 Just now, Pariah said: Q: < insert gratuitous Donald Trump coronavirus comment here > A: In two weeks, it'll be worth even more than toilet paper! Q: Is that a twenty-dollar bill? I haven't seen one of those in decades! A: Mock me now, fools, but soon you'll be begging for even a little piece of my bottle-cap collection! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Asperion Posted March 18, 2020 Report Share Posted March 18, 2020 14 hours ago, Michael Hopcroft said: Q: Is that a twenty-dollar bill? I haven't seen one of those in decades! A: Mock me now, fools, but soon you'll be begging for even a little piece of my bottle-cap collection! Q: Why is Bazza saving all those used bottle caps? The only thing that they could possibility be good for is as caltrops. A: You have certainly discovered the way of the restroom, young padiwan. 🙅 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted March 18, 2020 Report Share Posted March 18, 2020 4 hours ago, Asperion said: A: You have certainly discovered the way of the restroom, young padiwan. 🙅 Q: Daddy, look! Look! I didn't soil my pants even once! Daddy, look! A: I don't want to pry anything from your cold, dead hand. That would be gross, not to mention messy. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cancer Posted March 19, 2020 Report Share Posted March 19, 2020 2 hours ago, Michael Hopcroft said: A: I don't want to pry anything from your cold, dead hand. That would be gross, not to mention messy. Q: Now that your biosuit is ripped, only this vaccine might save you. What's your offer? Oh, killing me won't help. Don't ask why. A: This isn't justice. It is vengeance. Never forget that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Asperion Posted March 26, 2020 Report Share Posted March 26, 2020 On 3/18/2020 at 7:08 PM, Cancer said: Q: Now that your biosuit is ripped, only this vaccine might save you. What's your offer? Oh, killing me won't help. Don't ask why. A: This isn't justice. It is vengeance. Never forget that. Q: Tell me Batman, why do you and Joker go after each other the way that you do? A: This is one bright night. 🙄 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted March 26, 2020 Report Share Posted March 26, 2020 41 minutes ago, Asperion said: A: This is one bright night. 🙄 Q: You realize, of course, we have come to the End of Days? That there will be another day again? A: For a species that went extinct eighty million years ago, it certainly has a thriving colony here on Mars. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
clnicholsusa Posted March 26, 2020 Report Share Posted March 26, 2020 2 hours ago, Michael Hopcroft said: A: For a species that went extinct eighty million years ago, it certainly has a thriving colony here on Mars. Q: What was Professor Challenger saying about diplodocus and the fourth one out? A: I believe the extinction of the dinosaur was due to a slight miscalculation in the rules they used for baseball. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted March 26, 2020 Report Share Posted March 26, 2020 12 hours ago, clnicholsusa said: A: I believe the extinction of the dinosaurs was due to a slight miscalculation in the rules they used for baseball. Q: The Journal of Jurassic Sports and Games? What would you even publish in a journal like that? A: We are in our seventh consecutive hour of Wiggles videos. Still better than being at work. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cancer Posted March 27, 2020 Report Share Posted March 27, 2020 11 hours ago, Pariah said: A: We are in our seventh consecutive hour of Wiggles videos. Still better than being at work. Q: Is it true that preemptively rotting your brain is a viable countermeasure against COVID-19? A: I am afraid that there is nothing more we can do for this patient. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted March 27, 2020 Report Share Posted March 27, 2020 9 hours ago, Cancer said: A: I am afraid that there is nothing more we can do for this patient. Q: Where is that horrible stench coming from in this hospital? A: As the only sports season still going through, we'll get TONS of viewers! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Asperion Posted April 1, 2020 Report Share Posted April 1, 2020 On 3/27/2020 at 9:11 AM, Michael Hopcroft said: Q: Where is that horrible stench coming from in this hospital? A: As the only sports season still going through, we'll get TONS of viewers! Q: Are you certain that you want to broadcast this game of buzkashi? A: We are the inputters. You want the outputters. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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