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Answers & Questions


Klytus

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27 minutes ago, Michael Hopcroft said:

A: This new portrayal of Superman looks like the work of someone who wants to be fired.

 

Q: "Erotic Furries from Krypton"?

 

A.  In a kiln.  For 72 hours.  At 600 degrees Celsius.  With a lead-cadmium-chromate glaze.

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On 6/19/2020 at 3:13 PM, Michael Hopcroft said:

A: Barnum said there's a sucker born every minute. Happy Birthday.

 

Q: There's some guy outside who said you're selling a bridge.  Which one?

 

A: Bridgework.  I'm a dentist.

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7 hours ago, Pariah said:

A: We don't use that word around here.

 

Q: Can you define "oxymoron" in terms of inconsequential recursive tautological catabolic mass wasting?

 

A: That depends on the perversity of your political pollution policing.

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17 minutes ago, Michael Hopcroft said:

A: On one hand it's sad to watch it burn. On the other, it's such a wonderful aroma.

 

 

Q: Is it true that the bakery is burning down?

 

A: The two ladies from ABBA.

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11 hours ago, Cancer said:

A: They're toxic to cats, you know.

 

Q: If dogs can learn to obey simple commands, why can't cats?

 

A: I'm down to my last ten bucks. I'm certainly not gonna spend it on that.

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25 minutes ago, Pariah said:

A: I'm down to my last ten bucks. I'm certainly not gonna spend it on that.

 

Q: Wanna buy a Ronco Self-Igniting Vegetable Roaster, Fish Smoker, and Baseboard Curler?  Comes in three designer colors!

 

A: The three colors are Basic Black, Bone Black, and Deep Space Black.

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27 minutes ago, Michael Hopcroft said:

A: This is a piano piece the human hands are utterly incapable of playing.

 

Q: What's your opinion of John Cage's "Four Minutes Thirty-three Seconds"?

 

A: There is no answer, obviously. 

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Just now, Michael Hopcroft said:

A: I always wondered how a duck can use a desktop computer. Thank you for enlightening me.

 

Q: With our remarkable new voice recognition and translation software, we have waterfowl programming in C++!

 

A: Nothing happens for nothing.

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On 7/3/2020 at 4:10 PM, Pariah said:

 

Q: With our remarkable new voice recognition and translation software, we have waterfowl programming in C++!

 

A: Nothing happens for nothing.

 

Q: How are you going to be paying for the Dyson Swarm?

 

A: By traveling through time, obviously.

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4 hours ago, Asperion said:

A: By traveling through time, obviously.

Q: AAGH! My phone's been cut off! How did it get to be ninety days past-due anyway?

 

A: All those people in mental institutions for saying they were time travelers from the future sent to stop Trump -- well, I'm beginning to have my doubts.

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On 7/4/2020 at 10:38 PM, Michael Hopcroft said:

Q: AAGH! My phone's been cut off! How did it get to be ninety days past-due anyway?

 

A: All those people in mental institutions for saying they were time travelers from the future sent to stop Trump -- well, I'm beginning to have my doubts.

 

Q: Why did they release you from the insane asylum? 

 

A: There is a New moon in the solar system.

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1 hour ago, Michael Hopcroft said:

A: Oh, never mind. Here it is.

 

Q: Where's the kaboom? There was supposed to be an Earth-shattering kaboom!

 

A: No boom today. Boom tomorrow. There's always a boom tomorrow. 

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On 7/11/2020 at 10:08 PM, Pariah said:

 

Q: Where's the kaboom? There was supposed to be an Earth-shattering kaboom!

 

A: No boom today. Boom tomorrow. There's always a boom tomorrow. 

 

Q:  Can we get Mr. Garibaldi on the phone? There are some fireworks that need his attention.

 

A: Welcome to Pyromanics Anonymous.

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