Cancer Posted August 7, 2020 Report Share Posted August 7, 2020 2 hours ago, Pariah said: A: It's worse than a virus, I'm afraid. Q: How bad is living next to 6000 tons of improperly stored unstable explosives? A: Major T.J. Kong. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted August 7, 2020 Report Share Posted August 7, 2020 4 hours ago, Pariah said: A: It's worse than a virus, I'm afraid. Q: That lump on your leg has gotten a lot biggers since we last met. Do you have a virus or something? A: Bananas are Chom-Choms. Say it with me -- Chom-Choms. Never say bananas again. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted August 7, 2020 Report Share Posted August 7, 2020 2 hours ago, Cancer said: A: Major T.J. Kong. Q: Who requires a whole regiment of highly trained officers to wash his uniforms? A: Bananas are Chom-Choms. Say it with me -- Chom-Choms. Never say bananas again. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Asperion Posted August 8, 2020 Report Share Posted August 8, 2020 3 hours ago, Michael Hopcroft said: Q: Who requires a whole regiment of highly trained officers to wash his uniforms? A: Bananas are Chom-Choms. Say it with me -- Chom-Choms. Never say bananas again. Q: Mom, where are all the bananas chom-choms? A: We interrupt this pandemic for a global crisis. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted August 8, 2020 Report Share Posted August 8, 2020 3 hours ago, Asperion said: A: We interrupt this pandemic for a global crisis. Q: We gotta get this to the newsroom stat: Gwenyth Paltrow just left her boyfriend. A: You know that can't exist and I know it can't exist. Now if we can convince It it can't exist everything will work out. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted August 8, 2020 Report Share Posted August 8, 2020 7 minutes ago, Michael Hopcroft said: A: You know that can't exist and I know it can't exist. Now if we can convince It it can't exist everything will work out. Q: If Mechanon is powered by a perpetual motion machine, how are we supposed to stop it? A: Given a choice, I'd trade 'em both plus a second-round draft pick for Foxbat. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cancer Posted August 8, 2020 Report Share Posted August 8, 2020 28 minutes ago, Pariah said: A: Given a choice, I'd trade 'em both plus a second-round draft pick for Foxbat. Q: You start with a pair of insane characters: Deadpool and Leatherface. Who's your primary? A: Aisle 4, halfway down, right next to the pickled chicken lips. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted August 8, 2020 Report Share Posted August 8, 2020 9 hours ago, Cancer said: A: Aisle 4, halfway down, right next to the pickled chicken lips. Q: Where can I find the dehydrated Ork Chops? A: Then the King and the Queen went back to the Green, but you can never go back there again! Cancer 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cancer Posted August 8, 2020 Report Share Posted August 8, 2020 3 hours ago, Michael Hopcroft said: A: Then the King and the Queen went back to the Green, but you can never go back there again! Q: What's the take-away from the summer of '75? A: We haven't had that spirit here since 1969. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted August 8, 2020 Report Share Posted August 8, 2020 1 hour ago, Cancer said: A: We haven't had that spirit here since 1969. Q: Why can't you contact Casper on a dark desert highway? A: And the Devil is downhearted, 'cause there's nothing left for him to claim! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted August 8, 2020 Report Share Posted August 8, 2020 11 minutes ago, Michael Hopcroft said: A: And the Devil is downhearted, 'cause there's nothing left for him to claim! Q: Is it true that Satan has stopped following the US Presidential election? A: We're the watchful eye of culture rebirth. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted August 9, 2020 Report Share Posted August 9, 2020 20 hours ago, Pariah said: A: We're the watchful eye of culture rebirth. Q: What you looking at, Millennial garbage? A: He doesn't understand how video games can be a worthwhile pursuit. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cancer Posted August 9, 2020 Report Share Posted August 9, 2020 10 minutes ago, Michael Hopcroft said: A: He doesn't understand how video games can be a worthwhile pursuit. Q: How do you know he's over 30? A: Wee, wee, wee, all the way home. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
L. Marcus Posted August 9, 2020 Report Share Posted August 9, 2020 Q: How did the prostate victim fare after the pub round? A: Slightly out of focus. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted August 9, 2020 Report Share Posted August 9, 2020 2 hours ago, L. Marcus said: A: Slightly out of focus. Q: How does my new painting look to you? A: The primate deserves the royalties for this. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted August 10, 2020 Report Share Posted August 10, 2020 5 hours ago, Michael Hopcroft said: A: The primate deserves the royalties for this. Q: Are you suggesting that Vanya's tell-all memoirs were actually written by Pogo? A: That's even sadder than Edmonton's recent playoff history. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted August 10, 2020 Report Share Posted August 10, 2020 2 hours ago, Pariah said: A: That's even sadder than Edmonton's recent playoff history. Q: So that's Romeo and Juliet. What did you think of the ending? A: And thus was born the first Spoiler Alert in human history. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Asperion Posted August 16, 2020 Report Share Posted August 16, 2020 On 8/9/2020 at 9:22 PM, Michael Hopcroft said: Q: So that's Romeo and Juliet. What did you think of the ending? A: And thus was born the first Spoiler Alert in human history. Q: What was this business about God calling forth light? A: That is one tiny base. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted August 16, 2020 Report Share Posted August 16, 2020 Q: Is that a 0.01 ng crystal of sodium hydroxide? A: We could tear up the floor and sell it for scrap. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted August 16, 2020 Report Share Posted August 16, 2020 14 hours ago, Pariah said: A: We could tear up the floor and sell it for scrap. Q: Hey, Master! What are you doing in my TARDIS with that crowbar? A: Maybe this wasn't such a good day to build a house of straw after all! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Asperion Posted August 17, 2020 Report Share Posted August 17, 2020 5 hours ago, Michael Hopcroft said: Q: Hey, Master! What are you doing in my TARDIS with that crowbar? A: Maybe this wasn't such a good day to build a house of straw after all! Q: Did you hear about the wild fires that are raging about? A: Welcome to the Dead Masons Society. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted August 17, 2020 Report Share Posted August 17, 2020 22 hours ago, Asperion said: A: Welcome to the Dead Masons Society. Q: I've been working stone all this time to the point that my heart gave out, and this is my eternal reward? A: I swear, believing in the Great Teapot between the orbits of Earth and Mars will make your life better, especially since i'm likely to execute you for blasphemy if you don't. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted August 17, 2020 Report Share Posted August 17, 2020 Just now, Michael Hopcroft said: A: I swear, believing in the Great Teapot between the orbits of Earth and Mars will make your life better, especially since i'm likely to execute you for blasphemy if you don't. Q: So, you're not Mormons or Jehovah's Witnesses? A: I'm a little teapot, short and stout, here is my handle, here is my...other handle? I'll be danged, I'm a sugar bowl! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Asperion Posted August 19, 2020 Report Share Posted August 19, 2020 On 8/17/2020 at 5:00 PM, Pariah said: Q: So, you're not Mormons or Jehovah's Witnesses? A: I'm a little teapot, short and stout, here is my handle, here is my...other handle? I'll be danged, I'm a sugar bowl! Q: Who do you think you are trying to be - Mrs. Potts? A: Smoke, fire, and pepto-bismal. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted August 19, 2020 Report Share Posted August 19, 2020 45 minutes ago, Asperion said: A: Smoke, fire, and pepto-bismal. Q: Cancer's grilling his ghost pepper bratwurst again. What's the expected outcome? A: Starts with 'B' and rhymes with 'red stick'. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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