Michael Hopcroft Posted October 25, 2020 Report Share Posted October 25, 2020 24 minutes ago, Asperion said: A: That is one crazy, mixed-up planet. Q: So tell me, Doctor -- what do you really think of Earth? A: If I were capable of sending people on one-way trips to the other side of the universe in suspended animation the whole time, you would not be on top of the list. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted October 30, 2020 Report Share Posted October 30, 2020 Bump. Do we need a new answer? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Asperion Posted November 1, 2020 Report Share Posted November 1, 2020 On 10/25/2020 at 4:42 PM, Michael Hopcroft said: Q: So tell me, Doctor -- what do you really think of Earth? A: If I were capable of sending people on one-way trips to the other side of the universe in suspended animation the whole time, you would not be on top of the list. Q: So, Mr. Musk, how can I get on this plan for intergalactic colonization? A: That is a plan for ghosts and goblins and ghouls. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted November 2, 2020 Report Share Posted November 2, 2020 On 10/31/2020 at 5:28 PM, Asperion said: A: That is a plan for ghosts and goblins and ghouls. Q: This house is old, decrepit, creaky, unheatable, and is one swift kick away from falling down into pieces. It needs to be condemned, and nobody will ever live there. What is the point to this insurance on it? A: About time you got here, 007. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Asperion Posted November 9, 2020 Report Share Posted November 9, 2020 On 11/1/2020 at 8:52 PM, Michael Hopcroft said: Q: This house is old, decrepit, creaky, unheatable, and is one swift kick away from falling down into pieces. It needs to be condemned, and nobody will ever live there. What is the point to this insurance on it? A: About time you got here, 007. Q: There are several people claiming to perform some horrible acts upon English nobility unless the master spy appears. What took you so long? A: That is definitely a mcguffin way to go. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted November 13, 2020 Report Share Posted November 13, 2020 On 11/9/2020 at 3:51 PM, Asperion said: A: That is definitely a mcguffin way to go. Q: So a big black bird statue fell out the window and killed him? A: If you have to ask what goes into this, you might not want to eat it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted November 18, 2020 Report Share Posted November 18, 2020 On 11/13/2020 at 3:34 PM, Michael Hopcroft said: A: If you have to ask what goes into this, you might not want to eat it. Q: Haggis? A: Mashed potatoes can be your friend. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cancer Posted November 18, 2020 Report Share Posted November 18, 2020 2 hours ago, Pariah said: A: Mashed potatoes can be your friend. Q: Why am I covered head to toe in starchy white paste? A: In 75 years they'll be putting silly subtitles as the guy portraying you speaks, too! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted November 18, 2020 Report Share Posted November 18, 2020 11 hours ago, Cancer said: A: In 75 years they'll be putting silly subtitles as the guy portraying you speaks, too! Q: What is the most annoying part of being a character in a French comedy? A: hey, it's not like what you're saying is actually funny! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Asperion Posted November 20, 2020 Report Share Posted November 20, 2020 On 11/18/2020 at 10:32 AM, Michael Hopcroft said: Q: What is the most annoying part of being a character in a French comedy? A: hey, it's not like what you're saying is actually funny! Q: What did people say to Robin Williams during Mork & Mindy? A: That is a perfect thing for Samhain. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cancer Posted November 23, 2020 Report Share Posted November 23, 2020 On 11/19/2020 at 5:59 PM, Asperion said: A: That is a perfect thing for Samhain. Q: If I stick a candy bar in a money machine, nothing happens, and I kick it, is that OK? A: Only if Lughnasa is a druidic space launch outfit. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted November 24, 2020 Report Share Posted November 24, 2020 21 hours ago, Cancer said: A: Only if Lughnasa is a druidic space launch outfit. Q: Are you sure you won't let me wear a spacesuit to the harvest Festival? A: Hallelujah! At last, our long national nightmare of peace and prosperity is coming to an end! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted November 24, 2020 Report Share Posted November 24, 2020 46 minutes ago, Michael Hopcroft said: A: Hallelujah! At last, our long national nightmare of peace and prosperity is coming to an end! Q: Is that Team Rocket I hear? A: He couldn't find his own butt with both hands and a bloodhound. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted November 24, 2020 Report Share Posted November 24, 2020 18 minutes ago, Pariah said: A: He couldn't find his own butt with both hands and a bloodhound. Q: Gee, it must be really inconvenient to have been blasted into several tiny pieces. Need help gathering up the bits? A: It could be worse, you know. She could be Welsh. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Asperion Posted November 25, 2020 Report Share Posted November 25, 2020 On 11/23/2020 at 8:40 PM, Michael Hopcroft said: Q: Gee, it must be really inconvenient to have been blasted into several tiny pieces. Need help gathering up the bits? A: It could be worse, you know. She could be Welsh. Q: So you meet someone from Pluto who claims to only want nothing more than a Jamba Juice. Can you possibly imagine anything that would be more annoying? A: This is the wart powers act. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted November 25, 2020 Report Share Posted November 25, 2020 12 hours ago, Asperion said: A: This is the wart powers act. Q: Kissing frogs is now mandatory throughout the Kingdom? A: This is why you don't want to be using 100% of your brain's ability at once. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted November 30, 2020 Report Share Posted November 30, 2020 Bump Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted November 30, 2020 Report Share Posted November 30, 2020 On 11/25/2020 at 12:49 PM, Michael Hopcroft said: A: This is why you don't want to be using 100% of your brain's ability at once. Q: I'm suddenly overwhelmed by the weight of all the world's problems, leading to a constant feeling of dread and impending doom! What happened? A: This is Carol, of Not The Bells. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted December 1, 2020 Report Share Posted December 1, 2020 6 hours ago, Pariah said: A: This is Carol, of Not The Bells. Q: Is this the girl who refuses to date Quasimodo? A: I just love Me! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted December 1, 2020 Report Share Posted December 1, 2020 1 minute ago, Michael Hopcroft said: A: I just love Me! Q: How's it going, Narcissus? A: I must be out of what's left of my mind. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cancer Posted December 1, 2020 Report Share Posted December 1, 2020 4 hours ago, Pariah said: A: I must be out of what's left of my mind. Q: Here is the first question on this oral exam: Explain how the quantum principle and conservation of angular momentum explains the cabal of hedgehogs controlling the free market economy and the lack of mention of fluorocarbon polymer coated cookware in the Second Epistle to the Corinthians. As a preliminary lemma, prove that your dog is not getting enough cheese. A: But he doesn't like cheese! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted December 1, 2020 Report Share Posted December 1, 2020 8 hours ago, Cancer said: A: But he doesn't like cheese! Q: I'm taking my dog on an excursion to the Moon this weekend so that we can sample the cheese. Everyone knows the Moon is made of cheese! A: The square root of a baked potato. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted December 1, 2020 Report Share Posted December 1, 2020 1 hour ago, Pariah said: A: The square root of a baked potato. Q: What is a single French Fry? A: Because Happily Ever After just doesn't cut it when it comes to ending a horror novel. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Asperion Posted December 2, 2020 Report Share Posted December 2, 2020 On 12/1/2020 at 9:32 AM, Michael Hopcroft said: Q: What is a single French Fry? A: Because Happily Ever After just doesn't cut it when it comes to ending a horror novel. Q: Mr. King, why do you never write fairy tales? A: The particulate solution. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted December 3, 2020 Report Share Posted December 3, 2020 23 hours ago, Asperion said: A: The particulate solution. Q: What did you put in my needle, Holmes? A: This is one of those days when it just doesn't pay to turn on the TV. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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