Shadow Hawk Posted February 27, 2010 Report Share Posted February 27, 2010 Re: Quote of the Week From My Life. I ordered a veggie burger at I think Chili's and was asked if I wanted bacon on it. That's nothing. I ordered a bacon burger at Denny's and they asked if I wanted bacon on it! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vondy Posted February 27, 2010 Report Share Posted February 27, 2010 Re: Quote of the Week From My Life. From my kickoff for our Purim broadcast. About the Western Wall: "Mr. Netenyahu - tear down that wall!" Linkage: http://www.israelnationalnews.com/Radio/Player.htm#2#506 It runs about 16 minutes with the last four being "Magic Carpet Ride." Its probably utterly irrelevant to the vast majority of you. If you do listen, sometimes it plays in firefox and sometimes it doesn't. If not, use IE. I've been on our programmer's case about it. And yes, I use a lot of poetic metaphor, especially early on. So be warned. Burrito Boy 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Drhoz Posted March 1, 2010 Report Share Posted March 1, 2010 Re: Quote of the Week From My Life. Me : Actually, curling was invented in Scotland Purrdence : Alcohol must have been involved Me : "We're drunk, it's winter, and we're bored. Wut de ye wanna do? We've got a rock and a broom." Purrdence : And then there's golf. Me : "Wut de wanna ye do? We've got a rock and a stick. It used to be a broom but we broke the end off curling." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SSgt Baloo Posted March 1, 2010 Report Share Posted March 1, 2010 Re: Quote of the Week From My Life. "...leaking fluids like a baby" "...like a mom and pop burger: greasy, but still good." Both in reference to a now-defunct car. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
teh bunneh Posted March 2, 2010 Report Share Posted March 2, 2010 Re: Quote of the Week From My Life. A gal in Accounting named Brandi has been having some issues at work with a particular piece of software known as JD Edwards, and getting it fixed has been taking up about 80% of my time for the past few days. At a meeting this morning, my boss asked me what my accomplishments for the week have been... Me: My life, my love, and my lady is JDE. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
teh bunneh Posted March 3, 2010 Report Share Posted March 3, 2010 Re: Quote of the Week From My Life. Me to a vendor: What's "a-day-in-the-life" for me, is sexual harrassment for you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Enforcer84 Posted March 3, 2010 Report Share Posted March 3, 2010 Re: Quote of the Week From My Life. Is Brandi a fine girl? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Drhoz Posted March 11, 2010 Report Share Posted March 11, 2010 Re: Quote of the Week From My Life. At the theater with Purrdence and several dozen of her students Me : I realise that Macbeth is a traditionally unlucky play, but having three live peacocks roosting around the stage is just asking for trouble According to a friend that works with the troupe "There's usually 7. In the past we have beaten them into submission, aurally speaking, with Satriani's Surfing with the Aliens. ... During a Matinee of Hamlet, one of the males landed on the stage and honked every time Claudius said a line." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Drhoz Posted March 11, 2010 Report Share Posted March 11, 2010 Re: Quote of the Week From My Life. Me : Are you peddling crack around the neighborhood? My brother : What? No! Me : Then pull your damn pants up Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alibear Posted March 11, 2010 Report Share Posted March 11, 2010 Re: Quote of the Week From My Life. Me: cursing the inabilities of other road users. Finn (aged 4) from the back: Why are you the only person in the city who can drive properly, Daddy? Me: I wonder that myself sometimes, Son. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shadow Hawk Posted March 11, 2010 Report Share Posted March 11, 2010 Re: Quote of the Week From My Life. Me: cursing the inabilities of other road users. Finn (aged 4) from the back: Why are you the only person in the city who can drive properly, Daddy? Me: I wonder that myself sometimes, Son. "I find there are lot of people on the road today who don't know how to drive. I call these people 'Everyone but Me.'" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
teh bunneh Posted March 11, 2010 Report Share Posted March 11, 2010 Re: Quote of the Week From My Life. I think it was Seinfeld who said, "Everyone who drives faster than me is a maniac. Everyone who drives slower than me is an idiot." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Drhoz Posted March 11, 2010 Report Share Posted March 11, 2010 Re: Quote of the Week From My Life. I think it was Seinfeld who said' date=' "Everyone who drives faster than me is a maniac. Everyone who drives slower than me is an idiot." [/quote'] George Carlin Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Enforcer84 Posted March 12, 2010 Report Share Posted March 12, 2010 Re: Quote of the Week From My Life. George Carlin Aw great and he's dead! NOW how will we know? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ghost-angel Posted March 12, 2010 Report Share Posted March 12, 2010 Re: Quote of the Week From My Life. Wife: Hopefully they didn't close the post office nearby, like they do everything else. Me: No, Post Office's aren't dictated by in-state dumb. Wife: Just out of state? Me: Yes. 20 minutes later after I drop her off for a doctor's appointment. Me Texting Her: It's still here. But only open from 1030AM to 1230PM. Her Texting Back: Out-of-state-dumb. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Drhoz Posted March 12, 2010 Report Share Posted March 12, 2010 Re: Quote of the Week From My Life. Aw great and he's dead! NOW how will we know? easy - George isn't driving anymore - therefor anybody driving in reverse down the highway is an idiot, and everybody else is a maniac Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
teh bunneh Posted March 18, 2010 Report Share Posted March 18, 2010 Re: Quote of the Week From My Life. Me: Ooh, you got a love letter, or what we used to call a "Mash note." ...and by "we," I mean someone other than me who is much, much older. :embarrassed: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lucius Posted March 19, 2010 Author Report Share Posted March 19, 2010 Re: Quote of the Week From My Life. I came across this statement I wrote several years ago. Lucius: As far as something like this is concerned, it is quite possible to spend lots of money and get very, very poor results. It is much harder to spend very little money and get really great results. You may not get what you pay for; you will probably have to pay for what you get. Paying ten thousand dollars for a car doesn't guarantee you will get a car worth ten thousand dollars; but paying only a thousand dollars for a car just about guarantees that you WON'T get a car worth ten thousand dollars. Lucius Alexander The palindromedary notes that Lucius has always been annoyed at people who talk about "throwing money at a problem" especially if they don't have a solution that miraculously involves not spending any money Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Old Man Posted March 19, 2010 Report Share Posted March 19, 2010 Re: Quote of the Week From My Life. "Look, Daddy! My poops are as long as two fire trucks!" "Uh huh. Wow. That's a lot of poop, kid." *grunt* "Look, now they're as long as three fire trucks!" "You don't say." "I have four more poops left, Daddy. Maybe five." "Should I get you a Twitter account?" "What's a Twitter?" "I'm sure you'll figure that out before I do." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
matrix3 Posted March 19, 2010 Report Share Posted March 19, 2010 Re: Quote of the Week From My Life. "Look, Daddy! My poops are as long as two fire trucks!" "Uh huh. Wow. That's a lot of poop, kid." *grunt* "Look, now they're as long as three fire trucks!" "You don't say." "I have four more poops left, Daddy. Maybe five." "Should I get you a Twitter account?" "What's a Twitter?" "I'm sure you'll figure that out before I do." Infant toilet training story, spoilered for those with sensitive stomachs Not really that bad, though. When my daughter was transitioning to the toilet from her little potty, she sometimes had rather epic bowel movements barely contained by the little potty that showed that it really was time to graduate to a full sized toilet. After being surprised by one of the first such displays, I exclaimed, "Holy Cow!" After this, she would proudly announce whenever she had "Holy Cow Poops!" Especially hilarious when she would use this term at daycare. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tkdguy Posted March 24, 2010 Report Share Posted March 24, 2010 Re: Quote of the Week From My Life. Student: Wasn't it like that when you were in school? If you failed, you had to fight in the war? Me: I'm not that old! Me: Why does everybody hate fractions? Fractions need love too. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tkdguy Posted March 24, 2010 Report Share Posted March 24, 2010 Re: Quote of the Week From My Life. "Do you eat liver?" "Depends on whose liver I'm eating." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tkdguy Posted March 26, 2010 Report Share Posted March 26, 2010 Re: Quote of the Week From My Life. "How did you break your tooth?" "I was eating Cheetos." "Wha--?" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tkdguy Posted March 28, 2010 Report Share Posted March 28, 2010 Re: Quote of the Week From My Life. "I need another drink. I'm starting to get sober." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
teh bunneh Posted March 29, 2010 Report Share Posted March 29, 2010 Re: Quote of the Week From My Life. "If I wasn't married, I'd give you a proper rogering." "OK. What's a rogering?" "...you've never heard that term?" "No." "I guess I'll have to show you, then." "Great! Sounds like fun!" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.