Jump to content

Quote of the Week From My Life.


Lucius

Recommended Posts

Guest Celt

Re: Quote of the Week From My Life.

 

Picking up lumber to make picnic tables-

 

"I'll go get the two by fours"

"Can you find them?"

"We're in a lumber yard. Two by fours are as common here as hydrogen in the universe."

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Guest Celt

Re: Quote of the Week From My Life.

 

Exchange between my housemate and I as he leaves to go to work and I head to my work-from-home office.

 

Me: Have fun storming the castle.

Him: Have fun withstanding the siege.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Re: Quote of the Week From My Life.

 

Working the Census, talking to a field worker...

"Please explain to me how a location can be uninhabitable, vacant, and occupied by three people all at the same time."

 

"We hire the mentally handicapped, and they all work for our tech support."

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Re: Quote of the Week From My Life.

 

I was telling a friend of mine in IM chat about a rather stupid user I was dealing with on the phones...

 

Friend: So how stupid of an idiot are we talking. Cd drawer/coffee holder stupid or porn crashed my computer and I want you to fix it stupid

 

Me: I forgot my password and locked myself out of my laptop stupid - the password she used to get in earlier today stupid.. and STILL cannot remember stupid. The "If I were the CEO, this would be stupid enough to get you fired!" kind of stupid. The "How do you get dressed in the morning without strangling yourself with your clothes?" kind of stupid.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Re: Quote of the Week From My Life.

 

One of my oh-so-very-conservative relatives, on racial profiling:

 

"All I'm saying is, if it looks like a duck, and quacks like a duck...."

 

I interrupted him: "Being a duck isn't a crime."

It is if you're a Muscovy Duck :)

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Re: Quote of the Week From My Life.

 

Purrdence
: We're going up to the shops for stuff. Is there any stuff you want?

Me
: Not that I can think of, thanks.

Purrdence
: Alright, stuff you.

 

Puzzling over a satellite dish -

 

Me
: Any geosynchronous satellites would be north of here. There's nothing in that direction for it to point
at
.

Kyu_kage
: It's been there for years

Me
: Then it's just for show - unless it's pointed at the invisible Dalek warfleet...

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Re: Quote of the Week From My Life.

 

Y'know how places sometimes need your first and last name? Every single incident I have done that or been witnessing a family member do that, save for one person, they *can't spell our last name*. It's not complex; it's not 'very strange', it's not even *Long*. It's seven letters, arranged in a rational manner - And, if you change the 'f' to a 'p', most of the time, people can spell it.

 

I'm baffled.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Guest Celt

Re: Quote of the Week From My Life.

 

Y'know how places sometimes need your first and last name? Every single incident I have done that or been witnessing a family member do that, save for one person, they *can't spell our last name*. It's not complex; it's not 'very strange', it's not even *Long*. It's seven letters, arranged in a rational manner - And, if you change the 'f' to a 'p', most of the time, people can spell it.

 

I'm baffled.

 

Your last name is Puckers? :sneaky:

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Re: Quote of the Week From My Life.

 

Feterson? Faulson? Face? Faddock? Farker? Farson? Fatton? Fatterson? Fearson? Ferdue?

 

...wait, is the F (that could of been a P) even at the beginning of the name?

 

 

I know it's bad Internet-etiquette to try to figure out someones real name, but this is just too fun!:doi:

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Re: Quote of the Week From My Life.

 

Reading the reports at the office...

"A comma, a comma, my kingdom for a comma!"

 

"Talk about run on sentences."

"Doesn't it need a period to be a sentence?"

"A verb would be good idea, too."

"I don't think duplex is hyphenated."

 

Attempting to read the names on the forms...

"Poor soul, he's got 16 letters and only 2 vowels."

"You should have seen it before it got to America. In Soviet Union, they don't have vowels."

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.

Guest
Unfortunately, your content contains terms that we do not allow. Please edit your content to remove the highlighted words below.
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

Loading...
  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.
×
×
  • Create New...