SSgt Baloo Posted August 11, 2011 Report Share Posted August 11, 2011 Re: Quote of the Week From My Life. My nephew (who lives in a sparsely-populated area of Oregon) and I were discussing the level of driving stupidity displayed any time we went anywhere in Sacramento. Me: The percentage of idiots isn't any higher than where you live, but there are just a whole lot more people, so you get more idiots per square mile. Him: There are a lot of idiots in this village. Me: That's gotta be my next tee-shirt! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lucius Posted August 13, 2011 Author Report Share Posted August 13, 2011 Re: Quote of the Week From My Life. Before the final exam in my freshman physics course, my Professor told the class "I have some Bad News and some worse news for you. The Bad News, at least half of what I taught you this year is wrong. The Worse News, I don't know what half, and neither does anyone else. So never decide something is impossible and dismiss it unexamined because it contradicts something I taught you. Enjoy your test." Lucius Alexander Half a palindromedary is a perfectly normal beast Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tkdguy Posted August 14, 2011 Report Share Posted August 14, 2011 Re: Quote of the Week From My Life. I went on a wine tour yesterday with a couple of friends. At lunch we tried wild boar. Friend #1: I like to eat. Me: We all do, in our old age. Friend #2: We like the good stuff too. Me: As evidenced in our expanding waistlines. Friend #1: And our empty pocket books. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Drhoz Posted August 15, 2011 Report Share Posted August 15, 2011 Re: Quote of the Week From My Life. Weldun : Every American president since Kennedy has tried to out-macho the Soviet Premier by wearing just a suit when the Russian is rugged up to the eyeballs. GM : Probably wouldn't work with Putin. He'd just come out wearing Speedos. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Old Man Posted August 15, 2011 Report Share Posted August 15, 2011 Re: Quote of the Week From My Life. I've noticed that Putin has evolved into some sort of Russian Jack Palance. It would be really cool if he weren't, like, evil. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Klytus Posted August 15, 2011 Report Share Posted August 15, 2011 Re: Quote of the Week From My Life. As seen on a friend's Google+ page... "Capitalization is the difference between helping your Uncle Jack off a horse, and...." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Klytus Posted August 17, 2011 Report Share Posted August 17, 2011 Re: Quote of the Week From My Life. As seen on a (different) friend's FaceBook page... "Crying is not a weakness, but a sign that the body can't absorb the immense amount of emotions that the spirit creates." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Klytus Posted August 20, 2011 Report Share Posted August 20, 2011 Re: Quote of the Week From My Life. Man: Then again, it always baffles me when anyone does anything half-assed. Woman: Your devotion to doing things "whole-assed" is one of the things I love about you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Narf the Mouse Posted August 21, 2011 Report Share Posted August 21, 2011 Re: Quote of the Week From My Life. As seen on a (different) friend's FaceBook page... "Crying is not a weakness, but a sign that the body can't absorb the immense amount of emotions that the spirit creates." Truth. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Old Man Posted August 21, 2011 Report Share Posted August 21, 2011 Re: Quote of the Week From My Life. "Dad! Let's play hide and go seek!" "Okay." "You hide in the bed!" "Yeah, uh, let's review the rules of the game, okay? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Xavier Onassiss Posted August 23, 2011 Report Share Posted August 23, 2011 Re: Quote of the Week From My Life. Me: "Hey, knock it off. Do I look like some kinda chew-toy to you?" Cat: Mrowt... chomp! Me: "Oh." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Burrito Boy Posted August 23, 2011 Report Share Posted August 23, 2011 Re: Quote of the Week From My Life. While working on a character: Me: I can make a cloud of acid so I don't know if I need magic missile. My Mom: Can I drop it? Me: Huh? My Mom: Can I drop some of your acid? *sigh* Damn hippie. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Celt Posted August 23, 2011 Report Share Posted August 23, 2011 Re: Quote of the Week From My Life. texted my wife 8FP who was out driving with friend when mild tremors hit Long Island today Me: Earthquake! You okay? 8FP: Yep. You call THAT an earthquake? <3 She's from the west coast. *g* Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Old Man Posted August 23, 2011 Report Share Posted August 23, 2011 Re: Quote of the Week From My Life. "When flying a twin, if you lose an engine, the other engine will take you directly to the crash site." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
teh bunneh Posted August 23, 2011 Report Share Posted August 23, 2011 Re: Quote of the Week From My Life. My mom came up to visit us for the first time since we announced the pregnancy. We were meeting at a resturant, and I was running a bit late so my wife and my mom got there before I did. I join them... Mom: Oh Bill, your ladyfriend looks so beautiful! Me: (looking around fearfully) Oh my god, is she here? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
New Hero Posted August 29, 2011 Report Share Posted August 29, 2011 Re: Quote of the Week From My Life. I was at work several years ago, listening to a coworker complain about her new, and apparently fully evil, kitten. I jokingly made the comment, "If I had a cat like that, I'd give it flying lessons." At that moment, another coworker (one who adores cats) was walking past, heard what I had said, and got all huffy about it. Later that day, I went over to her desk. Me: You really love cats, don't you? Her: Yes, I do. Me: It might surprise you to know that I grew up with cats. I love cats, too. (pause) Maybe we should get together some time and swap recipes. She wouldn't talk to me for a week. I love this joke! And I admit that I ripped it off. I was playing City of Heroes, and was a member of a team of players that I didn't know. In the Chat window, one of the team members was lamenting that while she leaned forward in her chair to get a drink, her cat jumped up into the chair behind her, rolled up in a ball, and promptly fell asleep. The player couldn't lean back in her chair. Me: "So you're a cat lover?" She (I assume it's a she): "Yes, I do." Me: "So do I . . . Wanna swap recipes?" The rest of the team posted a bunch of lols, and omgs, and one rofl. Her response?: "VILLAIN!" but she did put an lol after it. Thanks for the great joke, Bolo! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nevelon Posted August 29, 2011 Report Share Posted August 29, 2011 Re: Quote of the Week From My Life. Today is a clear blue day, sunny and mild. Everything smells fresh and clean and you can see to the next county. "Hurricanes: Natures spin cycle" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lemming Posted August 29, 2011 Report Share Posted August 29, 2011 Re: Quote of the Week From My Life. I love this joke! And I admit that I ripped it off. I was playing City of Heroes, and was a member of a team of players that I didn't know. In the Chat window, one of the team members was lamenting that while she leaned forward in her chair to get a drink, her cat jumped up into the chair behind her, rolled up in a ball, and promptly fell asleep. The player couldn't lean back in her chair. Me: "So you're a cat lover?" She (I assume it's a she): "Yes, I do." Me: "So do I . . . Wanna swap recipes?" The rest of the team posted a bunch of lols, and omgs, and one rofl. Her response?: "VILLAIN!" but she did put an lol after it. Thanks for the great joke, Bolo! I worked in animal rescue, I can't tell you how many times I was told variants of that joke. Somewhat funny the first time, but repetition and when you've worked with cats that had been set on fire, not funny at all anymore. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lucius Posted August 29, 2011 Author Report Share Posted August 29, 2011 Re: Quote of the Week From My Life. While working on a character: Me: I can make a cloud of acid so I don't know if I need magic missile. My Mom: Can I drop it? Me: Huh? My Mom: Can I drop some of your acid? *sigh* Damn hippie. Perhaps she was expressing an opinion about role playing games? Lucius Alexander I was sometimes taken for a hallucination even before I acquired a palindromedary Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Orion Posted September 1, 2011 Report Share Posted September 1, 2011 Re: Quote of the Week From My Life. A stash of extra computer equipment sits outside my door. I'm kinda responsible for it, because no one else will do it. Lesbian Coworker: "Can I bring my old monitor down and add to the pile?" Me: "Sure. I probably need to get some of those sent to surplus. I can't even give away a 15" LCD anymore." LC: "I know. Anything under 24" just isn't enough any more." LC: "I'm such a size queen." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Drhoz Posted September 2, 2011 Report Share Posted September 2, 2011 Re: Quote of the Week From My Life. A stash of extra computer equipment sits outside my door. I'm kinda responsible for it, because no one else will do it. Lesbian Coworker: "Can I bring my old monitor down and add to the pile?" Me: "Sure. I probably need to get some of those sent to surplus. I can't even give away a 15" LCD anymore." LC: "I know. Anything under 24" just isn't enough any more." LC: "I'm such a size queen." I still use a cathode ray monitor... got the most shocked expression I've ever seen on an IT guy when I told him Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IndianaJoe3 Posted September 2, 2011 Report Share Posted September 2, 2011 Re: Quote of the Week From My Life. I still use a cathode ray monitor... I have a CRT at work... on a machine running XP... with 256Mb of RAM. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Old Man Posted September 2, 2011 Report Share Posted September 2, 2011 Re: Quote of the Week From My Life. I have a CRT at work... on a machine running XP... with 256Mb of RAM. So you work in 2001 A.D.? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tkdguy Posted September 2, 2011 Report Share Posted September 2, 2011 Re: Quote of the Week From My Life. "I don't know how many ways to keep explaining this to you. I'm starting to feel like a broken record!" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IndianaJoe3 Posted September 2, 2011 Report Share Posted September 2, 2011 Re: Quote of the Week From My Life. So you work in 2001 A.D.? Feels like it sometimes, except I use Chromium as a browser. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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