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Quote of the Week From My Life.


Lucius

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Re: Quote of the Week From My Life.

 

My kid watches too much TV as it is. But for the longest time we had to skip around Finding Nemo (the opening mom-dies part and the really deep dragonfish part; oddly the part where Bruce goes berzerk was somehow funny, not scary) and Cars (where Lightning wakes up on the freeway at night). And he was dying to see Jurassic Park until we were flipping channels one day and literally the ten frames that flashed on the screen were the ones where the T. Rex noms the insurance guy.

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Re: Quote of the Week From My Life.

 

"Yes' date=' of [i']course [/i]I want a front garden full of plants with four-inch thorns and violently poisonous sap. That way when somebody climbs over the fence in the middle of the night, I can listen to the screams and go back to sleep happy in the knowledge of a job well done"

 

plus it puts me in an august company... Rappaccini, Ernst Stavro Blofeld, Fu Manchu....

 

Crossposted

 

 

Fang you Berry Much: (Total: 169 Active Cost, 19 Real Cost) Thorns of Legendary Viciousness - Killing Attack - Hand-To-Hand 2d6, Area Of Effect (1m Radius; +1/4), Constant (+1/2), Uncontrolled (+1/2), Reduced Endurance (0 END; +1/2), +4 Increased STUN Multiplier (+1), Double Penetrating (x2; +1) (142 Active Points); Extra Time (1 Month, Growing time; -5), Limited Power Only attacks ONCE, when entering hex. (of course, attacks again if someone RE enters hex) (-1), IIF Expendable (Difficult to obtain new Focus; One seed, one bush; -1/2), Conditional Power Only grows in the growing season, and in appropriate climate and soil conditions (-1/2), No STR Bonus (-1/2), Reduced Penetration (-1/4) (Real Cost: 16) plus All but Impassible - Change Environment (-1 to either EGO or CON Roll to avoid backing out, -1 to STR Roll to push into hex, Long-Lasting Permanent), Area Of Effect (1m Radius; +1/4) (27 Active Points); Same seed, growing time, and growing conditions modifiers (-6), No Range (-1/2), Linked (Thorns of Legendary Viciousness; Greater Power is Constant or in use most or all of the time; -1/4) (Real Cost: 3)

 

 

Now available from QuestGuard, the land's leader in merit based security - The Fangberry Bush, the fastest growing trend in security landscaping! Looking for a way to protect your wizard's tower or hermit's cave from wandering monsters like annoying door to door solicitors or even more annoying clueless adventurers? Wondering how to prepare for possible misguided mobs of local peasants with pitchforks? Or have you just granted an entire castle's residents, especially the beautiful princess, the deepest and most restful sleep of their lives and want to make sure no one disturbs their slumber - ever?

 

Upon entering the All but Impassable area an intruder must make a STR roll at -1 to even force a way in. In the process, they suffer two 1d6 Killing Attacks that are double Penetrating and with +4 STUN Multiplier from the Thorns of Legendary Viciousness and the STUN damage adds together to make this hedge a truly Stunning addition to any enchanted garden. To avoid backing out - possibly right into an already-passed bush if you have made the hedge several meters thick - the intruder must roll against EGO or CON, again at a -1. This process must be repeated for every hex entered, so a swiftly moving intruder is simply shredded that much faster if the thicket is thick enough. Intruders have been known to stop in terror and confusion, afraid to move until the proprietor or a security patrol arrives to deal with them!

 

 

Just look at these testimonials!

 

 

"Perfect for keeping animals and children out of my garden. Except as fertilizer of course." Baba Yaga

 

"Now THAT'S the shrubbery we're talking about!" Knights who Said 'Ni!'

 

"Please don't throw me in THAT briar patch" Br'er Rabbit

 

"It's like a nightmare!" Princess Beauty

 

"Maybe this'll keep 'em out of my swamp." Shrek the Ogre

 

"I kinda like those berries." Princess Fiona

 

Recently featured in Better Gnomes and Gargoyles

 

 

Note: the large and alluringly colored berries of fangberry bushes are ornamental and not meant for Human, Elven, or Dwarven consumption. Berries are known to have thaumaturgic properties and should only be handled by qualified alchemists, druids, witches, and apothecaries licensed to handle magical herbs. We accept no liability.

 

Lucius Alexander

 

copyright Palindromedary Enterprises - we sell more than just palindromedaries!

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Re: Quote of the Week From My Life.

 

On PBS last night, Charlie Rose was interviewing billionaire Warren Buffett.

 

Charlie Rose: "The Republicans say that Obama's tax plan would create class warfare. Do you believe they're correct?"

 

Warren Buffett: "There's been class warfare for years. My class is winning."

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Re: Quote of the Week From My Life.

 

Me: "Did you see my response to [stupid vendor]?"

 

Young engineer: "Yeah, thanks for sending that, maybe now something will get done."

 

Me: "That whole email thread read like a Keystone Kops episode."

 

Young engineer: "What's Keystone Kops?"

 

Me: *facepalm*

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Re: Quote of the Week From My Life.

 

Coworker: "I don't understand, what do you mean that Jews don't celebrate Christmas."

Me: "It's not a holiday for them."

CW: "But it's the birthday of thier Lord and Savior!"

Me: "But they don't believe that. They aren't Christians, after all."

CW: :jawdrop:

 

How I wish you were trolling... because that would be far preferable to the reality of the idiocy of your CW not knowing this. :weep: :facepalm:

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Re: Quote of the Week From My Life.

 

Sometimes I forget how common truly profound ignorance is.

 

Lucius Alexander

 

I hang out with palindromedaries

 

I'm tempted to talk to a bunch of random people to see if they know Martin Luther and Martin Luther King were two different people.

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Re: Quote of the Week From My Life.

 

Well' date=' if you want another example... CW seems to believe that Jews are Christians, but Catholics and Mormons are not.[/quote']

 

*facepalm*

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Re: Quote of the Week From My Life.

 

Well' date=' if you want another example... CW seems to believe that Jews are Christians, but Catholics and Mormons are not.[/quote']

 

Well, yea. Catholics are a heretical sect with the Pope as the Anti-Christ. Mormons believe you get a planet.

 

CW reads Jack Chick or something? (actually trying to figure out some people's logic may be hazardous to your sanity, don't try this at home)

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Re: Quote of the Week From My Life.

 

Well, yea. Catholics are a heretical sect with the Pope as the Anti-Christ. Mormons believe you get a planet.

 

CW reads Jack Chick or something? (actually trying to figure out some people's logic may be hazardous to your sanity, don't try this at home)

 

Jack Chick, for all his faults, does know that Jews are not Christians.

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