teh bunneh Posted August 3, 2012 Report Share Posted August 3, 2012 Re: Quote of the Week From My Life. Her: I named my new car "Mighty Mouse"! Me: Huh. We don't name our cars. We just call them "white car" and "blue car." Come to think of it, that's how we named our cats, too. "White cat" and "Gray Cat." Her: At least you didn't name your daughter "Girl Child." Me: No, but if we had a little boy and a little girl, I can just about guarantee we'd call her that! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Old Man Posted August 4, 2012 Report Share Posted August 4, 2012 Re: Quote of the Week From My Life. First Boy has a new classmate named "Shade". And of course "Oshyn" returned from last year. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
input.jack Posted August 5, 2012 Report Share Posted August 5, 2012 Re: Quote of the Week From My Life. Quote from my room mate: "I went beyond the Valley of Good Taste, and camped in the Hills of Wrong!" ;D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
John T Posted August 7, 2012 Report Share Posted August 7, 2012 Re: Quote of the Week From My Life. "At three in the morning, English becomes my second language... and doesn't get replaced by anything." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tkdguy Posted August 8, 2012 Report Share Posted August 8, 2012 Re: Quote of the Week From My Life. Talking about the Equestrian events at the Olympics at work. Me: I like Equestrian. It's calm. It doesn't upset the nerves. Supervisor: How did Mitt Romney's horse do? (Note: It's actually Ann Romney's horse, not Mitt's) Me: I think the horse did better in London than he did! Supervisor: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tkdguy Posted August 10, 2012 Report Share Posted August 10, 2012 Re: Quote of the Week From My Life. Oh, the joys of teaching an 8 year-old! I was teaching her subtraction with borrowing, and I was going to show her how to calculate people's age. She didn't want to divulge her birth year, so I volunteered mine. Me: I was born in 1967... Student: No you weren't; that was the time of the Gold Rush! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MisterVimes Posted August 10, 2012 Report Share Posted August 10, 2012 Re: Quote of the Week From My Life. Oh, the joys of teaching an 8 year-old! I was teaching her subtraction with borrowing, and I was going to show her how to calculate people's age. She didn't want to divulge her birth year, so I volunteered mine. Me: I was born in 1967... Student: No you weren't; that was the time of the Gold Rush! I'd move on to history Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Querysphinx Posted August 10, 2012 Report Share Posted August 10, 2012 Re: Quote of the Week From My Life. I have a coworker who is literally a blabbermouth. She never stops talking, even to chew her food and eveything she says at the top of her lungs. Worse nothing she has to say is actually useful or interesting. No one in the department can stand being around her for any period of time. Me: You know that's irritating. Her: What's irritating? Me: The fact that you never stop talking. Her: What do you mean. I'm a quiet person. Me: Being stuck in a room with you is like having my ears stuffed with rabid weasels. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BoloOfEarth Posted August 10, 2012 Report Share Posted August 10, 2012 Re: Quote of the Week From My Life. I have a coworker who is literally a blabbermouth. She never stops talking, even to chew her food and eveything she says at the top of her lungs. Worse nothing she has to say is actually useful or interesting. No one in the department can stand being around her for any period of time. Me: You know that's irritating. Her: What's irritating? Me: The fact that you never stop talking. Her: What do you mean. I'm a quiet person. Me: Being stuck in a room with you is like having my ears stuffed with rabid weasels. You should tell her, "Your voice fills the room. In fact, you'll notice that as you talk, people get up and leave to make room for it." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Klytus Posted August 10, 2012 Report Share Posted August 10, 2012 Re: Quote of the Week From My Life. I was at a Pagan festival even last weekend at a camp with cabins and communal bathrooms. Saturday morning, one of my friends talks about how hammered she'd gotten the night before... "So I was in the bathroom this morning, and on my way out, I laughed because I happened to look into one of the other stalls an saw that someone left their outfit hanging up in there. Then after a couple of seconds I realized, 'Oh, crap! That's mine!!!" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tkdguy Posted August 10, 2012 Report Share Posted August 10, 2012 Re: Quote of the Week From My Life. I'd move on to history I would have, but the Summer of Love is an inappropriate topic for an 8 year-old child. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
John T Posted August 12, 2012 Report Share Posted August 12, 2012 Re: Quote of the Week From My Life. I'm reminded of a "conversation" I had with a co-worker many years ago: Co-Worker: *inane blather* Me: *reads book* Co-Worker: *more inane blather* Me: *still reading book* Co-Worker: *even more inane blather* Me: *continues reading book* Co-Worker: "..." Co-Worker: "You're not even listening to me, are you?" Me: *while still reading book* "...nope..." Co-Worker: "..." Actually managed to shut him up for... a whole 15 minutes, I think. Not sure, wasn't keeping track. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bigbywolfe Posted August 12, 2012 Report Share Posted August 12, 2012 Re: Quote of the Week From My Life. My seven year old niece on the possibility of my father having to go to a nursing home or long term care facility for PT and rehab: Her: If grampa has to go to one of those...*pause*...homes, what are they called, like where grampa Burt lived? Me: Nursing home Her: Yeah, that. I think that would be fun. Because they take care of you, but you're an adult, so they can't yell at you. So glad this conversation was over the phone so she didn't see my face and think I was laughing at her, but I was cracking up. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tkdguy Posted August 14, 2012 Report Share Posted August 14, 2012 Re: Quote of the Week From My Life. Not actually a quote yet; just something I thought up today and will wait for the right time to use it: "Any ideas?" "Several, but they all violate the Geneva Convention." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
John T Posted August 14, 2012 Report Share Posted August 14, 2012 Re: Quote of the Week From My Life. A shirt I want to make for a friend: "There is no silence so profound that it cannot be filled by some nit-wit with nothing to say." (just thought of that a few days ago ) A shirt I already gave to my wife: "I'm not laughing at you, I'm laughing with you. You're just not participating." (thought of that one a year or two ago) A shirt I need to (re)make for myself: "If I wanted your opinion, I'd read your entrails." (from a shirt a friend bought for me a few years ago - I wore it to death... ) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CrosshairCollie Posted August 15, 2012 Report Share Posted August 15, 2012 Re: Quote of the Week From My Life. Earlier today, my wife was asleep on the couch when one of my cats decided he wanted to park on the back of said couch. Unfortunately, the path he chose to take involved leaping over her head, and he's not as athletic as he used to be ... he came up short and scratched her on the nose on the way down. Not a bad scratch, but it bled pretty bad, and she was sound asleep until then and woke up by, well, pain, which made it seem that much worse. We treated the wound with peroxide and first aid cream and a Band-Aid ... but after a few minutes, my wife noted ... "I'm a first level wizard! I just got my ass kicked by a housecat!" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IndianaJoe3 Posted August 17, 2012 Report Share Posted August 17, 2012 Re: Quote of the Week From My Life. Discussing the morning's sudden storm with a co-worker. Jeff: "Half of the sky was bright and sunny, and the other half was like Mordor." Me: "One does not simply walk into Mordor... sometimes, Mordor walks into you." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MisterVimes Posted August 17, 2012 Report Share Posted August 17, 2012 Re: Quote of the Week From My Life. Jennifer is sewing her Huntress costume for DragonCon and rubs her eye while holding the seam ripper. Me: "Don't do that. If you put your left eye out, you'll never be able to wear your Deathstroke costume again." Jen: "Oh!" *long pause* "You're right." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tkdguy Posted August 17, 2012 Report Share Posted August 17, 2012 Re: Quote of the Week From My Life. Coworker: Hey, my sock rolled down. Me: You mean you were showing a bare ankle? Scandalous! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Old Man Posted August 17, 2012 Report Share Posted August 17, 2012 Re: Quote of the Week From My Life. Coworker: Hey, my sock rolled down. Me: You mean you were showing a bare ankle? Scandalous! fap fap fap Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
L. Marcus Posted August 17, 2012 Report Share Posted August 17, 2012 Re: Quote of the Week From My Life. - *pant pant pant* -Dog, after an hour's walkies on the summeriest day yet. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
John T Posted August 18, 2012 Report Share Posted August 18, 2012 Re: Quote of the Week From My Life. Bumper sticker: "got jesus?" Room mate: "Yeah, but I left him in a cave for three days, and he spoiled." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shadow Hawk Posted August 18, 2012 Report Share Posted August 18, 2012 Re: Quote of the Week From My Life. - *pant pant pant* -Dog, after an hour's walkies on the summeriest day yet. That's funny, that's what my dog says when he wants to go outside... or be fed... or given water... or wants me to throw the cat in the microwave... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SSgt Baloo Posted August 18, 2012 Report Share Posted August 18, 2012 Re: Quote of the Week From My Life. I once bought my mom a refrigerator magnet that said: "I FOUND JESUS! (He was behind the sofa the whole time!)" Grandma would have been scandalized. Mom thought it was hilarious. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Klytus Posted August 20, 2012 Report Share Posted August 20, 2012 Re: Quote of the Week From My Life. I do so dearly love going to Pagan festivals where I get to spend time with other Pagans, kinky, and polyamorous folks. Otherwise, I'd never get to hear gems like this... "I could never have sex with her! She's like a sister to me. Moreso than my actual sister. Yes, I'm the father of her child, but that was via artificial insemination. There was no sex involved. As for my real sister, I'd totally do her. She's hot!" And his wife was standing right there, smiling joyously the whole time. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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