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Quote of the Week From My Life.

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Re: Quote of the Week From My Life.

 

Was listening to a Dr Karl podcast, where he was discussing a Cold War plan to Nuke The Moon.

 

Dr Karl
: "Even if we used all the nukes we had at the height of the Civil War... I mean, Cold war..."

Purrdence
: Somebody is writing up a very alternate RPG setting as we speak

Me
: It'd make a pretty alternate
Gone With The Wind
, too "As God is my witness, I will never be radioactive again!"

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Re: Quote of the Week From My Life.

 

"Look on the bright side. For once you're complaining about something that has nothing to do with Kim Kardashian."

Why would one complain about Kim Kardashian when she's so easily ignored?

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Re: Quote of the Week From My Life.

 

Was listening to a Dr Karl podcast, where he was discussing a Cold War plan to Nuke The Moon.

Dr Karl
: "Even if we used all the nukes we had at the height of the Civil War... I mean, Cold war..."

Purrdence
: Somebody is writing up a very alternate RPG setting as we speak

Me
: It'd make a pretty alternate
Gone With The Wind
, too "As God is my witness, I will never be radioactive again!"

 

Oh, dear gods. If the North and South had nukes, we'd still be cleaning up the radioactive mess left behind...

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Re: Quote of the Week From My Life.

 

Why would one complain about Kim Kardashian when she's so easily ignored?

 

Easily ignored? (NSFW)

 

 

 

kim-kardashian-hot-6.jpg?w=418&h=640

 

 

I'm sure she doesn't quite look like this nowadays, but still.

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Re: Quote of the Week From My Life.

 

Easily ignored? (NSFW)

 

 

 

kim-kardashian-hot-6.jpg?w=418&h=640

 

 

I'm sure she doesn't quite look like this nowadays, but still.

 

Women in bikinis are hard to ignore.

 

I don't think most women understand that.

 

Lucius Alexander

 

The palindromedary wonders how Batman will save Santa Claus

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Re: Quote of the Week From My Life.

 

Easily ignored? (NSFW)

 

 

 

kim-kardashian-hot-6.jpg?w=418&h=640

 

 

I'm sure she doesn't quite look like this nowadays, but still.

 

Women in bikinis are hard to ignore.

 

I don't think most women understand that.

 

Lucius Alexander

 

The palindromedary wonders how Batman will save Santa Claus

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Re: Quote of the Week From My Life.

 

Easily ignored?

*shrugs* Yup.

 

Women in bikinis are hard to ignore.

Spent 4 years stationed on a beach in Florida. Got pretty easy. Kinda like being at a buffet when you're not hungry, I guess.

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Re: Quote of the Week From My Life.

 

Friend 1: My mother and I were talking about Christmas and how she got the Fluxx Cthulhu game for my fiance for Christmas.

Me: Hee!

Friend 1: Instead of calling it Cthulhu she called it chalupa.

Me: Oh.My.God.

Friend 1: So now I am picturing a chiuaua with tentacles.

Me: Whereas I have an image of a giant chalupa rising from the sea...

Friend 2: Mmm tasty eldergods... with nacho sauce!

Friend 3: May I have a baja Cthulhu with pico de gallo?

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Re: Quote of the Week From My Life.

 

Overheard at work...

"Any landing you can walk away from is a good landing. A landing where you can use the helicopter again is a great landing. A landing where the maintanence chief doesn't threaten to kill you slowly is a fantastic landing."

 

"Don't tell me his ancestry, tell me what he did wrong."

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Re: Quote of the Week From My Life.

 

The four year old:

 

"Dad?"

 

"What?"

 

"Can you pick us up later?"

 

"Pick you up? From where?"

 

"Space."

 

"Space?"

 

"Yeah."

 

"Who's taking you to space?"

 

"We're just going ourselves."

 

"How are you getting there?"

 

"Driving."

 

"Driving? In what?"

 

"The car."

 

"I don't think the car can go to space."

 

"Sure it can."

 

"How?"

 

"Just like regular driving, but you turn up. It's simple."

 

"I see. I guess I never tried that before."

 

"Yeah."

 

"But I don't think there's enough gas in the car to go to space."

 

"Oh, okay. We'll go later."

 

"I hope so, kid."

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Re: Quote of the Week From My Life.

 

Student: "Mr. M, do you think the world is going to end tomorrow?"

Me: "I know that it won't."

Student: "How?"

Me: "Because it's already tomorrow in Australia."

Student: [beat] "Oh."

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Re: Quote of the Week From My Life.

 

The other night my wife was talking about how the kids had just been bouncing off the walls that afternoon.

 

Wife: And it just makes me feel like I'm going... [hands moving like her head is exploding]

 

Me: Like you're blowing your SAN rolls.

 

Wife: Blowing my whats?

 

Me: It's a gaming term. It means-

 

Wife: Never mind.

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Re: Quote of the Week From My Life.

 

The other night my wife was talking about how the kids had just been bouncing off the walls that afternoon.

 

Wife: And it just makes me feel like I'm going... [hands moving like her head is exploding]

 

Me: Like you're blowing your SAN rolls.

 

Wife: Blowing my whats?

 

Me: It's a gaming term. It means-

 

Wife: Never mind.

 

Sadly, all aspects of this are way too familiar.

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Re: Quote of the Week From My Life.

 

Years ago I worked at a cafeteria while going to seminary. Most of my coworkers were students at a college affiliated with the seminary. One of them was Indian, as in from Delhi, India, and had only been in the states for two years. One day, I was assigned to the dishroom and was setting things up. She comes in.

 

P: Frank! I need you to define a term for me.

F: If I can, sure will.

P: I heard this in class today but didn't get a chance to ask what it meant. "Double Entendre."

F [blushing just a little, which she did not notice]: That's when a phrase has two meanings.

P: Like a pun?

F: No, not exactly. One of the meanings will be innocent and the other will be... not innocent.

P: I don't get it. You need to give me an example.

F [blushing furiously which she still doesn't notice or at least care about]: Okay. Here's one. If I said you have a beautiful body, would you hold it against me?

P [Eyes get wide. Huffs.] We need to get to work!

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Re: Quote of the Week From My Life.

 

On the morning of the 21st, my daughter had a playlist prepared for while she was getting ready to go to school, but as it turned out it was too short, so she came out and asked me for recommendations for end-of-the-world songs. I was happy to oblige, with Creedence's Run Through the Jungle (with the lyric, "two hundred million guns are loaded/Satan cries, 'Take aim!'") and John Fogerty's Change in the Weather ("There ain't no surviving/And there ain't no escape.").

 

Great father-daughter bonding experience, helping with her soundtrack for the Apocalypse.

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Re: Quote of the Week From My Life.

 

At church my wife was showing our head pastor's wife possible programs for next year's children's program. That way there won't be the rush we experienced this year as they realized at Thanksgiving that we didn't have one. One of them had famous superheroes seeking the newborn greatest hero.

 

I looked over the cast list. Superman, Wonder Woman, Batman, Catwoman, Hulk.

 

Me: Oh, this is so wrong!

Wife: What? You like superheroes.

Me: Hulk is Marvel. These others are DC.

Pastor's Wife: And you are OCD!

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Re: Quote of the Week From My Life.

 

"I will penetrate you!"

 

That comment actually came in a starship combat game. The speaker meant "My weapons will penetrate your shields" when he said that. But boy, can the actual quote be misconstrued!

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Re: Quote of the Week From My Life.

 

At church, I saw something on my the shoulder of my daughter's dress and tried to brush it off, but nothing happened.

 

Her: "Oh, sometimes I have so much Awesome that it just leaks out."

 

Later, as we were getting ready to leave, I went to get my coat, which was hanging right next to hers.

 

Her: "Oh, no! Your coat is touching mine!"

 

Me: "I was hoping my coat could get some of your Awesome by osmosis. I call it... Awes-mosis!"

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Re: Quote of the Week From My Life.

 

"I will penetrate you!"

 

That comment actually came in a starship combat game. The speaker meant "My weapons will penetrate your shields" when he said that. But boy, can the actual quote be misconstrued!

 

Which game?

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